Usain Bolt tests positive!

MrCreosote

Just read this over on the Guardian sports website:

Top Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt has tested positive for a banned substance. An IAAF spokesman said that Mr Bolt tested positive for human growth hormone in an out of competition test 6 weeks ago. Both A and B samples were positive. If confirmed he will be the first high-profile athlete to be caught by the new hormone test, and will face a ban of up to 4 years. Mr Bolt is expected to release a statement later today.

Bah! Another one! Maybe tainted meat?

MacSwifty

MrCreosote wrote: »

Just read this over on the Guardian sports website:



Bah! Another one! Maybe tainted meat?

<outrageous speculation removed>

LAVADUDE

and your source of this information is?

donothoponpop

He's claiming a "male enhancement product" that he bought from a dodgy website is to blame. I've been using these products for years in the vain hope that they will enhance my maleness, and sprinting ability, to no avail. Stupid to get caught though.

MrCreosote

The best thing about getting the result ahead of the press is it gives the athlete time to think up some outrageous excuse!

questionmark?

<snipped- another outrageous remark like that and you'll be shot>

wandatowell

Such a shame

Cleanman

<that's three posters in a row all speculating the same outrageousness>

Sure if Bolt was taking anything, he'd definitely break 9 secs easily:D:D:D

kmart6

<chronological-based speculation will not be tolerated on this forum>

Columbia

donothoponpop wrote: »

He's claiming a "male enhancement product" that he bought from a dodgy website is to blame. I've been using these products for years in the vain hope that they will enhance my maleness, and sprinting ability, to no avail.

MrCreosote wrote: »

Maybe tainted meat?

Correct

TFBubendorfer

Sigh.

One day, someone will come up with a new April Fools joke, I'm sure. Until then it's stuff like that again (and again and again ...)

Gringo78

It could also have been a tainted Gel he took - I read somewhere that the gel manufacturers were lacing the gels being given out at marathon & triathlon events with EPO so that people would perform really good and put it down to the effects of the gels and keep using them.

boost creep

Gringo78 wrote: »

It could also have been a tainted Gel he took - I read somewhere that the gel manufacturers were lacing the gels being given out at marathon & triathlon events with EPO so that people would perform really good and put it down to the effects of the gels and keep using them.

tainted gels?? you don't really believe that nonsense, do you?

Krusty_Clown

boost creep wrote: »

tainted gels?? you don't really believe that nonsense, do you?

It's a well known fact that some of these gels contain caffeine, which is on the doping ban list. Wake up and smell the coffee.

MaroonTam

Krusty_Clown wrote: »

It's a well known fact that some of these gels contain caffeine, which is on the doping ban list. Wake up and smell the coffee.

Well - Caffeine was taken off the banned list, but you would still burn yourself badly spilling your coffee going through an aid station.
I am pretty sure it would slow you down trying to put the sugar in....

Gringo78

boost creep wrote: »

tainted gels?? you don't really believe that nonsense, do you?

The onus is on you to check these things out as ignorance is no defence with the IAAF. The cigarette companies deliberately add Nicotine to cigarettes to make them addictive.

I've ran marathons without the use of gels and hit the wall hard around 20 miles but in my last marathon I used the gels and felt really good the whole way to the end so i would be very suspicious that there was something performance enhancing in them.

Krusty_Clown

MaroonTam wrote: »

I am pretty sure it would slow you down trying to put the sugar in....

What if you emptied the sugar sachet into your mouth, and then followed it up with an espresso? A quick swish around your mouth, and you're sorted..

They've taken caffeine off the banned list? Next they'll be allowing saccharides.

donothoponpop

Does anyone know which race Usain was taking the gels in? The 100m or the 200m? Are regular gel belts suitable for these shorter races?

RayCun

AFAIK, he didn't want to be stopping for water to wash them down, so he diluted them into his Camelbak in advance...

Gringo78

Krusty_Clown wrote: »

They've taken caffeine off the banned list? Next they'll be allowing saccharides.

Our coach has recommended the use of large amounts of dihydrogen monoxide (preferably in liquid form as gaseous form can be quite harmful to the trachea if ingested) in the days prior to a marathon. I can't find anything on the WADA site that would suggest this is on the banned list but have emailed them for clarification.

gerard65

donothoponpop wrote: »

He's claiming a "male enhancement product" that he bought from a dodgy website is to blame. I've been using these products for years in the vain hope that they will enhance my maleness, and sprinting ability, to no avail. Stupid to get caught though.

How many times have you been advised to take up the pole vault and quit the running, some people will just not take advice, even when the evidence is staring them straight in the face:rolleyes:

donothoponpop

gerard65 wrote: »

How many times have you been advised to take up the pole vault and quit the running, some people will just not take advice, even when the evidence is staring them straight in the face:rolleyes:

Crazy advice. How in god's name can you open a gel packet while holding a pole pre-vault. Or drink a cuppa for that matter?

Sabre0001

He got caught today of all days. I for one am outraged!!1!!11!

/lol

TFBubendorfer

Gringo78 wrote: »

Our coach has recommended the use of large amounts of dihydrogen monoxide (preferably in liquid form as gaseous form can be quite harmful to the trachea if ingested) in the days prior to a marathon. I can't find anything on the WADA site that would suggest this is on the banned list but have emailed them for clarification.

That's scandalous. Numerous research studies have clearly shown a significant performance enhancing effect of that drug!

average_runner

Could he not use a fuel belt with some viper active in it, take a bottle every 15 metres. Surely that get him to the finish line.

robinph

Krusty_Clown wrote: »

It's a well known fact that some of these gels contain caffeine, which is on the doping ban list. Wake up and smell the coffee.

They will never put something as essential as coffee on the banned list.

It is a definite performance enhancing drug though.

ocnoc

Coffee in a camelback is suprisingly effective... Only clean it out very well or you'll get a very nasty suprise the next time you use it

Seres

donothoponpop wrote: »

He's claiming a "male enhancement product" that he bought from a dodgy website is to blame. I've been using these products for years in the vain hope that they will enhance my maleness, and sprinting ability, to no avail. Stupid to get caught though.

Is that for real ? if so it sounds like a really lame excuse , youd expect professional athletes to be extra vigilant with the stuff the put into there body because of the consequences .

donothoponpop

Seres wrote: »

Is that for real ? if so it sounds like a really lame excuse , youd expect professional athletes to be extra vigilant with the stuff the put into there body because of the consequences .

That's the allure of these male enhancement products though, you can't underestimate the lengths some will go to because of underestimation of the lengths they go to...

anymore

Gringo78 wrote: »

It could also have been a tainted Gel he took - I read somewhere that the gel manufacturers were lacing the gels being given out at marathon & triathlon events with EPO so that people would perform really good and put it down to the effects of the gels and keep using them.

I use gels all the time and I am quite sure if i do a good performance it is down to the long hours training !

anymore

TFBubendorfer wrote: »

Sigh.

One day, someone will come up with a new April Fools joke, I'm sure. Until then it's stuff like that again (and again and again ...)

I dont think the libel courts recognise ' April Fools' day as a defence.

Seres

Seres wrote: »

Is that for real ? if so it sounds like a really lame excuse , youd expect professional athletes to be extra vigilant with the stuff the put into there body because of the consequences .

http://johnsonsrambler.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/april1.jpg

donothoponpop

He took essence of Floral Poi extract, is claiming that anything toxic came from that. Will be interesting to see how a sample appeal turns out, could still be appealing (thus eligible to run) for the Olympics.

anymore

Gringo78 wrote: »

The onus is on you to check these things out as ignorance is no defence with the IAAF. The cigarette companies deliberately add Nicotine to cigarettes to make them addictive.

I've ran marathons without the use of gels and hit the wall hard around 20 miles but in my last marathon I used the gels and felt really good the whole way to the end so i would be very suspicious that there was something performance enhancing in them.

They replace lost salts, and carbs, sugars, proteins etc - that is why we take them !
Whats the secret ?

Gringo78

anymore wrote: »

They replace lost salts, and carbs, sugars, proteins etc - that is why we take them !
Whats the secret ?

Yeah, I get that about the replacement but I had a really good backpack on in my first marathon with zip compartments and I'm almost 100% sure I lost nothing....but I slowed down at an aid station so I suppose it's possible someone interfered with the bag there while I was distracted.

boost creep

Gringo78 wrote: »

The onus is on you to check these things out as ignorance is no defence with the IAAF. The cigarette companies deliberately add Nicotine to cigarettes to make them addictive.

I've ran marathons without the use of gels and hit the wall hard around 20 miles but in my last marathon I used the gels and felt really good the whole way to the end so i would be very suspicious that there was something performance enhancing in them.

there's no doubting that gels are effective but getting a minute dose of EPO now and then isn't going to give a sudden rush of energy, EPO has to be taken over a sustained period to produce the goods, the performance enhancing effect of the gels is down to sugars, caffeine and carbs.
in your last marathon the reason you felt better all the way through might have something to do with you being fitter and better prepared, give yourself a little credit!

mloc123

I can't follow who is trolling who now.

G-Money

I heard that they snuck the banned substance in, right on the start line of the race. It was mashed and then ground up into the track and absorbed by his fingers when they are in the starting blocks. Once he starts running the sweat pumps it out of his body after 100 metres. Although to be on the safe side, they slightly shortened his lane so he had less distance to go to the finish line!

MrCreosote

average_runner wrote: »

Could he not use a fuel belt with some viper active in it, take a bottle every 15 metres. Surely that get him to the finish line.

The studies show no benefit from sports drinks over water for events shorter than 400m. That's why you'll only see cups of water being offered in London next year- the plan is at 50m intervals I believe.

myflipflops

<Just writing in bold to make it seem like I made an outrageous accusation and it had to be mod edited>.

donothoponpop

I just realized it was a big fat April's Fools Day joke... please disregard all the above posts. Everyone on this thread (and all their friends and firstborn) are banned from the forum forever.<mod>