We're going to Ibitza..Oh wait, I'm not!

LegacyUser

Hi all.
I'mnew to boards but I think I get the gist of it. I would like to bounce something off ye to get a third party opinion on this.
Ok so a couple of months ago a close friend was on about how cool itd be to go to Ibitza for a week during the summer. We both agreed itd be fantastic if we could arrange it. We are both doing the same courses and just finished our first year in college.
So last week a mutual friend asked me was I looking forward to my holiday in Ibitza. He said john and some of the other lads were going. I thought he was mistaken so thought nothing of it. Then yesterday I heard someone asking John what resort he was going to and who else was going etc. Hes going with some of our mutual friends. All lads that I would have been in secondary school with aswell, even if he is a bit closer to them. I still always bring them down to mine for pre drinks and drop them home, even on nights I dont go out they might ring if they are stuck. I havent said anything to them yet just due to the awkwardness of it. Im very bad in these situations. One half of me is thinking they should of had the curtisy to at least ask, the other half is thinking that they can ask and not ask whoever they want and that I have nothing to be annoyed about.
Its not a case that I dont have the money since I work far more than any of them. Or that I wouldnt be up for it. He hasnt even mentioned it yet.
So is there a right/wrong, should I be annoyed, or should I grow up? All advice taken :-) Thanks,
B

dellas1979

Well, I think you should find out what is going on.

Sound like you kindof bend over backwards for them???? And they knows this.

Blatter

If you have no personal problem with any of the guys he has asked and if you can get on with them then. on that sort of holiday, the more the merrier.

If you have a problem with a certain guy going, then let your feelings be known to your mate who invited him and take it from there.

Any yes he really should have consulted you about who he's inviting, but if he invited people that he knew you get on with or have no problem with then it's no biggie IMO.

Daisy M

Ask him and let him know your not happy. Dont pretend its ok if he makes silly excuses let him know you feel he has treated you bad.

PK2008

Wow that sounds awkward OP.

Did i read right that you drop them home and they give you a call if they are stuck? I could be wrong but they sound like they are kind of using you...

To be honest if they didn't ask you on the holiday I would take that as a good indication that they are not really your mates. confronting them about it will only make the situation even more awkward, just take it as a hint and stop doing stuff for them.

Firetrap

Am I reading this correctly? That John is the close friend of yours who said that ye should go to Ibiza?

If it is, it does look like you've been deliberately excluded from the journey for who knows what reason. It might be time to re-evaluate who you believe your friends are. Like the person above me, I'd not create a scene over it either but just not hang out with them if it's possible and not do things for you. They do seem like a pack of users who like you enough to drink in your place and get lifts home but not to invite you on holiday.

LegacyUser

To play devil's advocate here, there may be more to this. I can see the points of view of the above posters and they may indeed be right, but you have to remember young guys are not the most thoughtful bunch. There could be any number of reasons that you weren't told about it yet. Is it definitely booked and sorted, because it seems like all you have to go on now is hearsay? Maybe it's not a done deal yet.

If it is a done deal, do you see these guys very often? When was it booked? Would it be a case that you aren't a regular member of the group, occasionally showing up for the odd night out and so they think you are a bit of a floater? This could be another reason you didn't find out. Or maybe it was a very rushed thing that one night you weren't there the idea took legs and it was all sorted quickly.

If I were you I would not just stop hanging around with them - that is a sure fire way to make sure they won't invite you to stuff anymore. Just be straight with your mate, tell him you remember talking to him about the holiday and would have really liked to have gone so if there are any spaces left or anyone drops out then to give you a call. You can judge his reaction, if he is awkward, defensive or dismissive there is probably more to it and if he can't be straight with you then it is time to move on. However, there is a good chance he will be apologetic about forgetting you and explain the circumstances or maybe even be able to arrange for you to join the trip.

Just my 2c, the other posters may be right but if I didn't talk to everyone who didn't invite me to something I would have no one left to talk to. That's just young guys for you. I'm guilty of it myself - you literally can't always remember to invite everyone to everything, especially an infrequent member of the group.