Wasn't at my mates wedding

eviltwin

My former best friend was married at the weekend and I wasn't invited.

Basically we had a bit of a falling out a few years ago and while we more or less made it up things were never really the same after. But we had reached some kind of resolution and I even got an invite to her hens which I went to and a great time was had by all

So the wedding was this weekend just gone and I wasn't there. I wasn't expecting an invite anyway so it wasn't a surprise and I was okay with that but when I saw the photos on another mates FB page I got really upset.

I would love to have been there and seeing a group photo of everyone together really upset me.

Anyway I'm thinking of dropping in to her when she gets back from honeymoon with a small gift but some people are telling me I'm mad seeing as I wasn't asked. Some have suggested just posting her a letter with the gift, some think do nothing at all!!

But I realise now how much this silly fight has been a waste of time. She hasn't even met my one and a half year old son. Is it too late or should I give it another go?

eviltwin

The hen's night invite was a surprise to me to I have to say :eek:

I got a text and thought it was a mistake but she sent a follow up one. I thought it would be rude not to go and so I went and we didn't get to chat much but when we did it was all fine.

After the hen's we had a few texts, no more or less than usual.

I just feel a bit down about the whole thing. If we weren't on speaking terms or there was conflict I'd understand but there are no problems ( that I know of anyway ) but I suppose she has her own issues.

Firetrap

She invited you to her hen but not to the wedding? :eek: Is that not a bit odd or am I not up to speed with the whole hen/wedding thing?

Personally, I'd not do any more chasing. You've not really got your friendship back on track and it might be about as good as it's going to be at this stage. Unless it was a very small wedding with just close family and friends, there's no excuse for the snub.

Daisy M

eviltwin wrote: »

The hen's night invite was a surprise to me to I have to say :eek:

I got a text and thought it was a mistake but she sent a follow up one. I thought it would be rude not to go and so I went and we didn't get to chat much but when we did it was all fine.

After the hen's we had a few texts, no more or less than usual.

I just feel a bit down about the whole thing. If we weren't on speaking terms or there was conflict I'd understand but there are no problems ( that I know of anyway ) but I suppose she has her own issues.

Very unusual to invite you to hen and not to the wedding was she just making up the numbers? Send a card no need for a gift and the ball is in her court then if she wants to contact you again. Its an not nice feeling left out of something that a lot of your other friends were at and its normal to be upset, but dont allow yourself to dwell, the day is passed and hopefully there will be other events where you get a great day out with your friends!

eviltwin

Thats the odd thing. I thought maybe she would have a big hens with a lot of people at it but it was a small intimate meal and there were only ten of us. I know no one had dropped out so I doubt I was there to make up numbers

I sent her a nice email on the friday just wishing her well from the family and so on and got one back saying "come to the afters" but I reckon that would never have happened without my initial email

I'm trying not to let it get to me. Its just knowing it will be the topic of conversation for the next while amoung everyone and I'm going to have to grit my teeth and listen to it

Daisy M

Its a strange one, could it be possible that her new husband or a close family member still holds the argument against you, it doesnt make sense to have you at a small meal and not even have asked you to the afters. If its going to upset you try and avoid situations where discussions of the day are lightly to go on, for the next few weeks.

LegacyUser

OP, a few questions:

Were all the other girls who were at the hen night invited to the wedding?

How are you sure that no-one else dropped out?

Were you invited to the hen night at the last minute or at least, later than the others?

I know this will sound cynical but could it be that you were indeed added to make up numbers? Did all the hen night invitees divide the bill, paying the bride's share? (I have little experience of hen nights having been only to my sister's.)