Two. Don't know what to do?

LegacyUser

I'm a 20yr old girl and I've been working in France for the past few months. I was quite lonely there (only 1 or 2 good friends) so I was delighted when about a month ago I met a nice american boy who was interested in me. We saw each other casually for a bit and although he's sort of dull and uncharismatic, he's a lovely guy and I started falling for him.

About 2 weeks ago I met another guy. A French guy. Now he is quite simply amazing. At first I couldn't decide who I preferred, I really liked the US guy better but I couldn't figure out why but then I gradually swung round to the frenchie. So I decided to let things with the american fizzle out (we were still very casual..."breaking up" didn't seem necessary).

So all was fine for a few days until my French boy told me that he was going to be gone for nearly 2 weeks. He doesn't have a phone and rarely checks his Facebook so I doubt he'll be in contact. So I'm terrified that our "relationship" wont survive, that it'll have fizzled out by the time he returns. So I got back in contact with US boy and invited him for drinks (a group thing) tomorrow.

Basically, am I being selfish? I don't like US boy that much anymore and if the French guy does still want to see me when he gets back I would drop him straight away...but I don't want to be alone either. And maybe French guy wont forget me at all...I mean he did seem really into me but maybe I was just buying into all his nonsense?

I don't know I've never been in a situation like this before, can anybody advice me?

LighterGuy

Sunflower said it best. Stop jerking people around.

Dont do what literally millions have people have done in their lives at one point and that is to mess people around because their current situation isnt the best - Most commonly by being lonely as you are now.

Being lonely doesnt give you a pass to string someone along.

Sonics2k

Rare time I disagree with Sunflower.

There is nothing wrong with leaving your options open, however, I cannot stress how important it is you do not string one of them along.

Seeing as your French friend is going away, take this time to figure out if the American guy is worth being with. Just do not drop him to the dirt when the French guy returns, or that will just honestly make you a horrible person.

Napper Hawkins

The lad is gone for two weeks and you're already ruling him out? ffs...

If the French lad likes you I'm fairly sure he still will in a fortnight, how desperate are you? Though seeing as you're ready to drop him for such a trivial reason then maybe he's dodging a bullet?
As for the other lad, stop messing him about. If you don't like him then tell him rather than just leading him on while you wait for something better.

frenchus

frenchus wrote: »

Basically, am I being selfish?

Yes.

LighterGuy

sunflower27 wrote: »

She's already said if the French guy comes back and wants to see her she will dump the American guy anyway, so essentially she is just sorting a back-up for herself.

Agree. Totally.
Shes already said how she feels, re: would dump american guy in a heartbeat for french guy.

So the whole "keeping your options open" dont apply here. In fact, i dont think keeping your options open really ever applies. If i'm seeing a girl for the last 4 weeks but meet another girl then date her at the same time. lets be honest, Im not into original girl that much. "Keeping your options open" is just a way to twist the perception of whats really going on.