Lazy Band Members

flyswatter

Thought I'd ask this here if that's ok instead of the Musicians forum. Don't want to be swamped by all the ads!

At the moment my band is in a conundrum. I'm the drummer in the band but me and all the guitarists are all learning new instruments to develop and listening to different varieties of music to get better. We're making a great effort to be a better band.

There is this guy who is the main singer in the band (we all sing a bit) who is a talented musician. He can play bass, guitar, piano, clarinet, and can sing. However he refuses to play instruments and sing at the same time. For ages, I could not do this properly but I practiced really hard and can do it well now. We are frustrated cos he is being very lazy, not learning the lyrics to songs, we are getting frustrated because we have heard him hit higher notes before and can sing better than he let's on now.

He uses the excuse that he is on holidays during the summer when he is obviously free during the summer. He uses excuses throughout the year in general to avoid learning things.

I like the guy and he's a good friend. I've played with some volatile characters over the years who were very talented but abused the other band members for the slightest mess up, would leave the band one day and decide when to come back again. I always give people a chance to change and mature and the guy I just mentioned has.

The member in our band who is not putting any effort in is getting on our nerves. We're thinking of giving him a few more chances and if he doesn't change then we want to kick him out.

What should we do? There are plenty of other good musicians I know around the area who will put the effort in.

Squidgy Black

Pull him over to the side at practice some day, or over a drink even, and explain how you guys feel.

Just tell him that you's would appreciate him putting in more effort and taking things a bit more seriously.

Don't just sit around waiting for him to change himself, he obviously needs a good kick up the arse.

And don't make the threats of "if things don't change we're gonna have to find a new singer" that'll just turn out horrible and he'll just get pissed off.

RachaelVO

stetyrrell is bang on!

He either sh1ts or gets off the pot, he can't expect to be in a band and not put the effort in. It's grossly unfair to those who are putting in the effort.

flyswatter

If I say it to him nicely as a friend, all of us, and he doesn't change should we definitely let him go then?

Rigsby

If this guy is the main singer in the band, and refuses to do so for whatever reason, thats not of much benefit to the rest of the band. Is he prepared to drop the instruments and just sing ? If so, are the rest of the band content with this ? If his singing is the most important asset to the band, and this guy wont deliver, then you have no choice but to let him go.

Rigsby

flyswatter wrote: »

If I say it to him nicely as a friend, all of us, and he doesn't change should we definitely let him go then?

That's a no brainer IMO, but it's the band's collective decision.

flyswatter

Rigsby wrote: »

If this guy is the main singer in the band, and refuses to do so for whatever reason, thats not of much benefit to the rest of the band. Is he prepared to drop the instruments and just sing ? If so, are the rest of the band content with this ? If his singing is the most important asset to the band, and this guy wont deliver, then you have no choice but to let him go.

Ah yeah, we have no problem with him just singing, it would be handy though if he could play something at the same time. But there is a link here. He's not learning lyrics, singing properly or making an effort.

If he put in the effort he could play something as well as sing if you get my drift? It would relieve the stress on us so much, allowing us to have lead and rhythm guitar, we need 2 or 3 guitarists to be honest. We mightn't need as many additional musicians then.

There is no way we can have one guitar doing everything. We were playing Jimi Hendrix there a couple of weeks ago and it was just us three. We couldn't use the bass cos' it sounded completely wrong and had to have two guitars so we had no choice but to leave it out.

zafo

Don't Jimi Hendrix songs only have one guitar?

Demeyes

You're best off mentioning it to him, maybe 2 of ye in the band say it so he can't make it out that it's someone trying to kick him out. Ask him to try harder and try play and sing together or work on his singing more and in general to put in a bit more effort. When your talking to him about it, stay very nice and don't let it dissolve into an argument, if that happens then he probably won't do the stuff you ask him to. Set a few deadlines, like have a certain few songs ready in a month or two and if he hasn't shown any improvement in that time, then think about cutting him out. People not willing to put the work in are the ones that will hold you back, you're better off finding someone now than wasting a year with someone you aren't happy with.

Rigsby

flyswatter wrote: »

He's not learning lyrics, singing properly or making an effort.

This would be the deciding factor for me. As someone else earlier advised, put it to him in the most diplomatic and friendly way you can, that you need him to put in the effort. If he does not deliver the goods, then show him the door, and look for someone else. I cant see any other solution.

flyswatter

zafo wrote: »

Don't Jimi Hendrix songs only have one guitar?

Yeah, but he's Jimi Hendrix in fairness! :pac:

damonjewel

Rigsby wrote: »

This would be the deciding factor for me. As someone else earlier advised, put it to him in the most diplomatic and friendly way you can, that you need him to put in the effort. If he does not deliver the goods, then show him the door, and look for someone else. I cant see any other solution.

Thats absolutely on the money.

I have been in plenty of bands were most of the members have made a fairly serious attempt at things only for one member to drag it down. eventually the situation just disintegrates with the worst possible outcome i.e. everything is shelved, everyone has a massive pain in the arse with it and you go your own separate ways.

Maybe motivate him by saying you are serious, but show him a roadmap of where you see the band in six months, e.g. recording a demo, putting out a cd, line up some gigs, getting a manager on board etc. It might focus him.

MilanPan!c

If it's a serious project, and he's aware of that, tell him to behave like the rest of you, as that's what's expected.

Don't give him a direct ultimatum, but if he doesn't shape up in a month, immediately kick him out.

Firing people sucks; letting one guy control the bands fate, through
BS attitude sucks much much worse.

flyswatter

We're going to put it to him nicely and kick him out if he doesn't improve soon.

It would be handy to remove the stress on us by having an extra musician to do a few things but we want to get an extra drummer for when I want to sing and play guitar anyway.

We won't need him if we get that drummer. We'll keep him if he works harder but he can go if he doesn't.

Right thing to do?

Einstein

flyswatter wrote: »

Yeah, but he's Jimi Hendrix in fairness! :pac:

The problem is, if he thinks you look at him this way, he's not gonna try any harder, and he needs to be brought down a peg or two.

Nobody is do-withoutable. Tell him as a group, or else tell him while in a group and let the other lads back ye up. If he refuses then yer better off without him tbh.

flyswatter

Einstein wrote: »

The problem is, if he thinks you look at him this way, he's not gonna try any harder, and he needs to be brought down a peg or two.

Nobody is do-withoutable. Tell him as a group, or else tell him while in a group and let the other lads back ye up. If he refuses then yer better off without him tbh.

That's a problem in a group situation. He never comes to practice anymore and doesn't go out drinking with us that often. My bandmate said he might be a bit depressed cos he's not having much success with girls these days. If we even tell him what we feel nicely couldn't that be dangerous to his mental health?

Malice

MilanPan!c and Einstein have both already written what I was going to but it is worth re-iterating that no one is irreplaceable.

Fandango

Thats always the problem in bands. People dont want to point these things out in case they insult the other member and instead it festers until boiling point when its too late to address it. As others have said, put it to him in a nice way. Tell him you know how good he can be when he puts the effort in etc. Basically telling him you know he is talented but is falling short due to lack of effort. I always think these things are better done over a pint or something also. If you do it in practice, it will be on his mind and he will probably go home angry after whereas you can say it to him in a friendly atmosphere over a drink and have a laugh to show everything is still cool between you all. Bands that find success are always the ones that every member is pulling their weight and working hard so if nothing changes i would look at other options personally. Best of luck with it and hopefully all goes well!

Einstein

If the guy is your good friend like you said earlier, and you're now concerned about it mental health etc, this is a different story.

Is he behaving this way due to issues at home or something thats happened in his personal life? Or is he being a pain in the a$s?

If its the first one, take the band cap off and put on the friend cap, and deal with it like you would if he wasn't in your band, and just a regular mate!

MC707

Certainly agree that nobody is irreplaceable...I would rather have no singer and work on song writing etc than have someone isnt pulling their weight...

Id also question whether he wants to be in the band anymore. Are you sure he isnt looking to be pushed out and doesnt have the courage to say it?