Hate My Nose

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Have a problem which is really getting me down.

I'm female and in my 20s. I'd consider myself to be quiet good looking (without sounding conceited), but my attractiveness is marred by a horrible nose.

Its far too large for my face and stands out a mile. I'm in my twenties now and this has bugged me since my early teens. I constantly wish I had a retrousse and perfect nose. Or even a smaller nose would do!

For years, I have considered the possibility of a nose job, however my friends say its fine and I don't need it, etc etc.

My issues are as follows;

1. Has anyone here had a nose job, and is it worth it?

2. Is it possible for someone to be considered attractive even with a horrible nose, or is this is a complete turn off for guys.


I've also had a string of casual hook ups, no real relationships, I'm wondering is it because my nose is a turn off for guys

Please help

LegacyUser

One of the most beautiful women I've ever seen was outside a cafe in Cork, her nose was the dominant part of her face but added such character& made her look far more interesting than if she'd had your "standard size" nose
There are loads of makeup techniques you can employ to "distract" from your nose if you want. Shading, placing emphasis on your eyes/mouth with a dash of colour, ect, ect
Have you seen Lauren from "The Only Way is Essex" since she had her nose job? Personally I think her face looks a lot chubbier with a smaller nose, her old one suited her far better.
Also, is it possible you may have a retruded lower jaw, making your nose appear more prominent? Ask your dentist/orthodontist for an opinion on the position of your lower jaw in relation to your upper.
The LAST thing guys focus on is a girls' nose!! If you've glossy hair, good skin, reasonably fit, plenty of confidence- you're flying.

Jim Stark

Hello, I'm sorry you are feeling down about your nose.

I think most people have a distorted sense of self image. I have a feeling that you don't have a horrible nose, but you just have a big nose! And maybe you see them as one in the same. There is nothing unattractive about a big nose, just as there is nothing unattractive about a small nose, they're just different types of noses!

Speaking for myself, I know a girl who has a distinctively big nose, and I find her very physically attractive, and I'm not the only one who thinks so. I like her big nose, I think it's cute! Her nose is just part of what makes up her appearance, so it doesn't make sense to try and look at it out of context. You know the saying: 'It fits your face'?

So yeah, I'm a guy, and a big nose is definitely not a turn off for me! Just try and realise that you probably do have a slightly warped sense of self image, most people do.

But saying all that. If you think a nose job would really give you more self-esteem, and make you happier, that could be an option for you. You know the saying; 'give me the strength to accept what I cannot change, and the courage to change what I can'.

cantdecide

Some people are just destined to fixate on their nose. It projects off of the face. It's reasonably natural to hone in on it. I think that this may be a more general body image issue siutation. Don't consider surgery without at least speaking to a counselor. Especially if it's been with you for so long.

We all have laundry lists of particular features we favour for ourselves as much as other people but at the end of the day, you have to consider 'the package'. Particular things just work on some that wouldn't work on others.

I'm not saying this to make you feel better but I just adore fuller noses. Button noses lend themselves to girlie girls. I think a fuller nose seem more womanly and a little more ....errrr ... exotic, maybe? If everyone is assuring you it's fine and you think that this is your only 'flaw', then it probably is fine. If it isn't crooked or mis-shapen I'm sure you're just beating yourself up.

I can assure you your nose isn't the reason you haven't found a good guy. That's just garden variety bad luck. We all get a bit of that.

kjl

Please stop telling the girl it's all in her head, she knows he own features.

I say go for it, my ex girlfriend had a nose job and she looked much better after it. I would say interview a few different doctors about it first. There are too many people who will tell you no, but it is a fairly common enough procedure and if it will make you happy then you should do it.

Fact is that it is about 3k, and if you can afford that then go for it, I'm sure that if a girl with small breast posted about getting bigger ones nobody would blink at the idea of her getting a boob job, I consider this to be in the same category.

Hope you find a solution OP

GL

LegacyUser

kjl wrote: »

I'm sure that if a girl with small breast posted about getting bigger ones nobody would blink at the idea of her getting a boob job, I consider this to be in the same category.


GL

Ah that's where you're wrong.... My ex wanted to get a boob job but I talked her out of it for years, contrary to popular belief not all men like fake tits on a woman.... Thing is she also had a larger than normal nose and was quite sensitive about it but to be honest she looked amazing the way she was. I was with her for five years so i wouldn't say it's the reason you haven't had a relationship....

Then again i can't speak for the OP because I don't have to live with it and look at myself everyday in the mirror.... So I'm sure whatever you decide is good for yourself will be, i suppose if you decide to go through with it just make sure you go to a reputable surgeon and all will be well....

Good luck

R

cantdecide

kjl wrote: »

...I'm sure that if a girl with small breast posted about getting bigger ones nobody would blink at the idea of her getting a boob job...

This isn't right, IMO.

Surgery should only be a last resort. The point is if this is all that's preventing the OP from being happy, then she's probably an awful lot better off than most of us. She should work on her attitude to her problem before she agrees to have her face carved up. She may conclude that although it isn't ideal in her opinion, it probably isn't a fraction of the problem she thinks it is.

Hate My Nose

Hate My Nose wrote: »

I'd consider myself to be quiet good looking (without sounding conceited), but my attractiveness is marred by a horrible nose.

2. Is it possible for someone to be considered attractive even with a horrible nose, or is this is a complete turn off for guys.

I've also had a string of casual hook ups, no real relationships, I'm wondering is it because my nose is a turn off for guys

Well first of all, I'm sure you'd research it correctly before you got surgery, but have a look at the risks/complications:
http://www.smartplasticsurgery.com/rhinoplasty.html#RC

Secondly, not having a relationship has nothing to do with your nose. You say you're attractive bar your nose. I can tell you I'm unattractive. With my nose, without my nose. My nose is massive, but if it was perfect I'd still be ugly because of the rest of my face. However I've had a two year relationship (which was when I also had severe acne) and I'm currently coming up to the two year mark on a relationship that was on and off for a while but has been steady for a year. I can guarantee you it's not your nose. It just hasn't happened for you yet. It will. I wont tell you that your nose doesn't matter or that it doesn't contribute to how you look, because I know how annoying it is when you try to talk about how you feel about your looks and everyone tells you you're perfect when you know you're not. I'm just trying to say that in the grand scheme of things having a large nose is not going to contribute to your life that much unless you let it. I'd really recommend not getting surgery unless you're sure that you can't go on without it.

Eve_Dublin

Hi OP. I'm not going to tell you what to do or what you shouldn't do...you've a brain in your head and you can decide yourself but I'll just tell you one thing.

There's no standard beauty. Don't compare yourself to women you see in magazines.If you have a flick through any magazine, they've all got a very similar look and so us women are lead to believe that this is the standard beauty. If you lined my female friends up in a line, were all very different and none of us look like a woman out of Vogue but yet we've all been told at one stage at least that we're beautiful. If you buy these magazines, stop buying them. They make women feel ugly. In my experience, the women who have the most issues with their appearance are the women who read Vogue, Cosmo etc. I've never read one in my life and I have very few issues with my physical appearance and none that bother me enough to post up here....the editors of Vogue would probably be shocked by that if they saw me as I'm not their idea of "standard beauty". Your nose is not horrible, it's just not the "standard" that shoved down the throats by the media. There's all kinds of beauty in the real world.

LegacyUser

OP, i sort of have the opposite view to you regarding my own nose. I have a bump in the middle of my nose and the profile view of my nose wouldn't be considered attractive but i actually like my nose, it adds character to my face.

My nose is a bit different looking to the average nose but i wouldn't change it for the world and nobody has ever commented on it and i could care less if they did. A friend of mine has a long hook nose and he gets called big nose lol but my god, the women fall over themselves to talk to him because hes a charming guy who fancies himself as a bit of a ladies man.

Anyway, whos going to judge you on the shape or size of your nose. Its so irrelevant in my opinion. I used to work with a girl who had a really big nose and she said that she hated it on a night out because it took over her face lol but she was a hottie in my eyes, pity she had a boyfriend at the time because "who nose" lol, i might have been in there.

Don't stress about it. Really, its nothing to worry about. A lot of people like a face that is not totally symmetrical. Infact a lot of models look very similiar in appearance to me with nothing really distinguishable about their face and it really is that old saying, "beauty is in the eye on the beholder".

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

Have you seen a consultant yet? I would say go for it to be honest! It'll increase your own confidence and self-esteem and obviously carries the benefit of making you more attractive also. I think it's wrong for people to try and just dismiss this as being in your head. Likewise, there is absolutely nothing wrong with striving for what you feel is perfection, be that cosmetically, academically, a combination, etc etc. To be honest, the only people who'll attempt to dissuade you from cosmetic surgery will tend to be:

A: Naturally stunning women
B: Beyond fixable, no matter how much surgery they got
C: Broke

Similarly, with lads, you'll find bald men trying to dissuade other guys from preventing themselves losing their hair or getting hair restoration treatment for similar reasons, though obviously A doesn't apply. If you check threads here you'll see proof of both. Do what makes you happy and resolves your issues.

People with larger than average noses/chins are usually brutally self-aware and to be honest, they're two of the only things about a woman's features you'll ever find groups of men joking about amongst themselves, particularly large chins though, it has to be said.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with cosmetic surgery, just find a reputable clinic/consultant and go from there. It's not something you want to go to the cheapest you can find for after all.

To clarify, I'm a male and also in my twenties. I will certainly be investing in maintaining myself as time goes by and I'd certainly never judge anyone else for doing so. The only people who I would sort of question would be the girls who go from having tiny boobs to getting massive fake ones, or men who get muscle implants. Like everything, it's all in moderation but fake muscles is just terrible.

Best of luck!

LegacyUser

OP, how much of a change do you want? My concern is that you won’t look like yourself anymore. I know you may think that’s the point but you are still you.

Google “Jennifer Grey”, the actress from Dirty Dancing. The first time I saw her post-plastic surgery (an episode of Friends) she was unrecognizable. Yes, she’s perfectly attractive now, but it’s a generically pretty face whereas before she was quite distinctive. Her nose fit her before.

LegacyUser

I'm going to be honest here.

Some of the most attractive girls I know have larger noses.

A girl i was in college with - her nose seemed a bit bigger than most. she was hot. Would never have put me off.

There's a girl who I've kissed a few times in my gang of friends. Again, bigger nose than most but she's unique.

the girl I'm seeing at the mo has a weird bump on her nose - again, character.

I don't have a nose fetish but I do like girls who are unique and striking.

Best thing to do is to survey your friends / family - ask them for an honest answer.

I thought that my teeth were a bit crooked and I asked people about it and they said that they never really noticed.

Don't go changing what could be a wonderful unique thing.

Eve_Dublin

Can I just add, telling a woman who you've never met and or never seen face-to-face (and thus don't know what she looks like or what her mental state is) that she should get plastic surgury if she wants it is beyond irresponsible and just plain stupid. "Oh you're unhappy with an aspect of yourself? Oh, well, I know I don't know you from Adam but I think you should do it!" "Why?" "Because you think you want it and it'll make you feel much better". Happy days! No reprecussions...fantastic!

Sometimes I believe my bum is too big...do you think I should just hack that off too because sometimes I get a little self-concious?

Stooooooooopid. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid. Cop on lads.

Elba101

OP I'm in the boat, possibly bigger one. I have thought about getting a nose job but I know I never will. as big as i think it is (and it is a huge hang up of mine), i'm still quite a confident person.

Only you can make yourself feel inadequate. You've said yourself that your good looking so stop worrying about one little thing that, by your own admission, is completely outweighed by lot of good things about yourself.

Focus on them and other people will too.

Ickle Magoo

Eve_Dublin, everyone is entitled to give their advice and opinion, it is for the OP to decide which to take on board and which to dismiss - please don't tell other posters to cop on nor call their advice stupid, as per the forum charter please be civil and polite.

Thank you.

Jim Stark

The best advice any of us could give you here is to talk to a therapist, if surgery is something you're thinking about, before you make any decisions. It's just ignorant for any poster here to tell you to get a nose job. Drastically changing your appearance in such a way is a serious procedure and shouldn't be taken lightly, especially when there could be many psychological factors behind it.

murphthesmurf

Is it really that bad? or do you just think it is? Do people really tend to notice? When you talk to people face to face do they look at your eyes, your mouth, or your nose?
Unless you post a pic none of us on here will ever know what you look like, so we can all just guess. You might be a stunner who just picks faults with herself, or you might actually have a big nose.
You say your quite attractive, so you obviously have some self confidence and not too paranoid.
If I met a girl who was attractive and I got on with her but she had a bigger than average nose, I wouldn't be too fussed. I like women who have 'sticky out' ears, I think it makes a woman look cute.
Is it really that big and bother you that much that you'll spend 3k on an operation?
Only you know the answers tbh. If your quite attractive then you wont have any trouble with men, so dont worry about that.
Do what the others say and see a surgeon, a good surgeon will tell you if he thinks there's nothing wrong with you, and tell you you'd be wasting your money.
Good luck

Meteoric

I hate my nose, it's so broad that the in-school tests for squints always said I had a squint just cause the testing thing did not fit on my nose and gave a false positive that I had a squint, took 3 years and many letters for the health nurse to stop referring me every time.
That comes from my Mum, the length of my nose comes from my Dad who was in the past mistaken as Jewish when working in the US. The tip of my nose has been described as retousse in that it turns up slightly. I've often jokingly asked them what the hell they thought they were doing having kids and did they consider the noses
All in all I hate my nose. That said everyone says I'm very pretty, I don't believe them but they do say it.
My point is that changing my nose would not change the fact that I'm not secure on how I look, surgery would have no good effect. I know deep down that getting a better nose would mean I'd focus on something else. So I embrace hating my nose

LegacyUser

Hi Eve_Dublin,

To be honest, the only issue with cosmetic surgery is being faced with attitudes like yours. If she can afford it and chooses a reputable clinic then if she wants it, she should go for it.

With regards to your bum, well, there's a difference isn't there? You can't exercise away a bigger than average nose, however you certainly can with your arse, stomach or otherwise. Regardless, if someone wanted lipo and felt it'd make them happier with themselves, I would fully endorse it also.

You're talking about pretty much 100% safe procedures carried out by extremely well educated and experienced surgeons. Obviously there is issues with people going completely OTT, but it's their body and their money, so who are you to look down on them for it?

It's irrelevant that I've never met the original poster, nor have you yet you're pushing her away from something she's clearly interested in, can most likely afford and will only do good things for her self-esteem. Instead, you're going down the "real women" route that fat women claim to be when confronted by slender and toned figures in the media. It's extremely transparent and casts a terrible light on yourself when you evoke the "real woman" crap, so I would suggest not doing so.

Your post merely insinuated that those you see in the media aren't "women" and that the OP should avoid looking at them as they apparently make "women" feel bad about themselves. They're real people, they put a lot of effort into how they look and you think they should be virtually scolded for this? What a horribly insecure point of view. Saying such tripe merely reflects on your own self-esteem (or lack there of) and your attitude towards amending it.

Sorry Eve but you appear to be directing your issues with yourself towards the OP. If you feel your arse looks too big then do something about it if you think you'd be happier with a small arse. OP feels she has an extraordinarily large nose and feels out of place with it, however unlike you, she can't just put down the donuts and go for an occasional walk to change it.

Eve_Dublin

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Eve_Dublin, everyone is entitled to give their advice and opinion, it is for the OP to decide which to take on board and which to dismiss - please don't tell other posters to cop on nor call their advice stupid, as per the forum charter please be civil and polite.

Thank you.

Sorry, I had a few drinks on me last night writing that and overreacted. I apologise

LegacyUser

OP, if you have a bent nose or a very noticeable bump then you could get a nose job. Some Women get a boob job if they are insecure about them, why should it be any different with any other part of the body that can be changed with surgery.

But, the fact that you mentioned that you are already goodlooking would lead me to believe that you have deeper underlying issues. You need to see a councellor and talk through why one feature of your face is causing you such grief.

Very few people have the perfect face and it seems that you might be looking for perfection. If you think that getting a nose job will make you a well rounded, confident person then get it done but see somebody first and talk it through.

Mind you, a big nose or slightly mishaped nose can be sexy and you might even become less attractive by having surgery . You just don't know until the work is done.

LegacyUser

Hi, OP here,

Thanks so much for all the replies, you have all helped so much, I will definitely be saving this thread for when I have moments of doubt and insecurity!

I have decided that I will not be going for surgery, for the following reasons;

1. Even if I had 3k (which I don't), I think I would rather spend that money on a life changing trip or something that I might get personal gain out of, rather than an Operation that may not make me look better and could be dangerous. I could get a loan of course, but I think the money could be spent on better things than trying to turn myself into a generic prototype.

2. Eve Dublin and everyone who said similar things are totally right, everyone is beautiful in their own way, and we should embrace that. Beauty, like noses, comes in different shapes and sizes and not everyone should or can look like they've stepped out of Vogue magazine.

3. It gives me character and it is heartening to know that people who posted here like a bit of character and something that makes you stand out!

Many other reasons, but they are the main ones.

SniffSniffThereGoesCharlie, if there are men out there who mock womens noses and chins when they're in large groups, then to be quite frank, they are not exactly the type of people I want to be associated with! ;-)

I can't tell you how much you have all helped and how much all your comments have meant to me, thanks so much for posting :-)

Can't guarantee I won't get moments of doubt or moments of nose hatred, but like I said, I will be saving this thread for those moments!

Thanks so much for posting boardsies xxxxx

panda100

I'm glad you decided against surgery OP. I think your dead right, and 3 grand spent on travelling or something that will really help boost your character and feelings of self worth would be much better than a nose job.

I'm pretty similar to yourself and used to have major issues with my nose, as I always thought it was massive. Its funny though, that its always the body part my boyfriends like most about me.

elbee

OP, I was reading this thread thinking 'I hate my nose too, and I can really see where this girl is coming from, but mine mustn't bother me as much because if I had 3k, I'd prefer to spend it on travelling!'

Then I read to the end and find you've come to the same conclusion

Delighted to find you've decided you can live with it - imperfections make us unique! I have sticky-out ears and they actually cause me pain sometimes but no way am I getting rid of them!