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Sexual Abuse - Longer term effects ?

  • 24-03-2011 7:47pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok not so sure exactly how to say this. Anyway, I'm a guy in my late 20's. In many ways I know I'm lucky, decent challenging job, thankfully no money worries.

    I have a friend in work who I always have gotten on well with, We go on lunch, go to the gym, team nights out etc. She's a lovely caring girl.

    When I was much younger (approx 20 years ago) I was sexually abused. I have gone to councelling over this and still do very occasionally when I get bad nightmares / insomnia etc. I guess I'm still kind of insecure around women as I feel quite scared of relationships (never had much more than FB situations in the past.)

    Occasionally when out though I seem to get very angry at my work friend for no reason and I say insulting things to her. This has happened 3 times in the past year. I can't explain it the next day and feel terribly guilty. I don't know sometimes I feel women don't see me as a real man due to my past & my own insecurities, so when in a down mood and drunk/tipsy, I take it out on her. I know this is very unfair, silly and childish behaviour.

    I until recently have always made it up to her afterwards. She does not know of the abuse I suffered in the past though, as it is something that I find very difficult to discuss.

    We have had a falling out recently over my behaviour and I'm quite sad as it looks like we will no longer be friends. I know now is not the time to say about my past to her, as it will only appear I am using it to gain sympathy / emotional blackmail etc.

    My question, I guess I'm just looking to hear from anyone with a similar past to mine and see if they are able to maintain "normal" friendships / relationships with the opposite sex.

    Apologies for the long post, and thanks to those who have taken the time to read it.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    http://www.oneinfour.ie

    Probably the best place to start.

    Best of luck


  • #3
    cafecolour
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭cafecolour


    Scared of women ? wrote: »
    I don't know sometimes I feel women don't see me as a real man due to my past & my own insecurities, so when in a down mood and drunk/tipsy, I take it out on her.

    I'm sure the sexual abuse has had some long-term effects. However, I want to note that a lot of people can get very nasty/verbally abusive/bullying when drunk and in the wrong sort of mood. So beside working on the underlying issues, you might also want to take a look at your drinking habits.


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