I dont want to break up

smile x

Hi all,
My boyfriend and i have being going out for 2 years. i know i say "going out" ! He works nights and is really busy at home he also does alot of work with cars. Were both in our mid twenties. He lives at home with his parents, i have never met them before.. i asked him to meet mine but he declined. . i only see him about once every 2 weeks due to his busy schedcule :mad: we cant make plans as he could be too tired or too busy to go out. We text every day. i feel like this relationship isnt going anywhere, we dont see eachother enough to get closer. it upsets me when i want to see him but he has no time. when we do meet up we have a great time, we have great chats. he also buys me lovely presents for my birthday/christmas etc.. i dont want to break up because he is a decent guy,but i dont want to be taken for granted either.
Any suggestions appreciated

MissFlitworth

You don't really have anything to break up there, different relationships work out for different people so there's nothing necessarily wrong with only seeing someone every 2 weeks and never meeting their folks but only if that's what you both want. You sound like a complete afterthought for this guy, he won't make plans with you in case he's too tired, won't meet your family, won't let you meet his and only sees you every 2 weeks. Honestly, I don't think he sees you as a girlfriend (and I'd be suspicious that he has an actual girlfriend somewhere also).

You may not want to break up with him but it sounds like time you laid your cards on the table with him, ie that you want a proper relationship or you're done.

G86

MissFlitworth wrote: »

Y
You may not want to break up with him but it sounds like time you laid your cards on the table with him, ie that you want a proper relationship or you're done.

I'd have done this after 2 months, never mind 2 years. You deserve to be alot more than someones past time OP.

LegacyUser

OP, I could be completely off here but are you sure he's not going out with someone else?

The face that he never has time for you on a regular basis is a bit strange and that you haven't met his folks(in 2years!) kind of suggests to me that he doesn't want them to know about you.

Have you met any of his friends/anyone else he knows?

To be honest with you, the fact that you've put up with this for so long seems crazy to me!

You say that you don't spend enough time together to get closer, do you love him?

I think it may be time to move on from this and stop wasting your time.

Meet someone who is willing to make you top of the list as that's what should be expected - from my point of view - from a relationship. Especially an "adult" one.

Distorted

Would you actually notice if you did break up? All you'd miss were some texts and a fortnightly meeting. He is treating you with a casual disreguard and shows you a lack of respect not to introduce you to his parents or to meet yours (which is quite rude). I think he sees you as a temporary thing until he decides to move on with his life and would discard you without a thought if it suited him. Stop being such a wet blanket and show yourself some more self respect and tell him its not good enough for you.

(I'd also be suspcious he has someone else on the go).

curlzy

Wow, this is a new one! Once every two weeks for 2 years? You sure he's not married OP, the fact he won't meet your family or introduce you his would make me think that's what's going on here. Think about it, once every 2 weeks for 2 years actually equals 52 days, not two years, this is just bizarre, what exactly are you getting out of this??? It certainly doesn't sound like a healthy relationship but only you can tell us that. TBH OP, going purely on your info supplied I'd be dumping this guy, after I follow him one evening to see if he does in fact have a wife and family tucked away, my bets is that's what happening here.

Sleepy

You're being seriously taken advantage of here OP. In his mind you're a **** buddy, not a girlfriend.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

LegacyUser

Sleepy hit the nail on the head. You're being strung along, as horrible as it may seem. He sees you as a **** buddy he can use when it suits. To be totally honest, I wouldn't be surprised if he never saw it as a monogamous relationship and has been out with other women in the mean time.

Depending on the circumstances, either give him an ultimatum or go find someone who'll give you the love and attention you deserve. Personally I would go with the latter.

Best of luck.

smile x

He isnt married as one of my friends lives near him so i know he lives with his family..When we do meet up, usually we go out for dinner or to the cinema or something so i wouldnt call myself his **** buddy. i have met his friends and work mates and has being intrduced as his girlfriend but when we happened to meet his brother one night i wasnt introduced at all.
I think i will end it the next time we meet as i have complained about this alot b4 but it doesnt change anything.
Thanks for all yer advice

dixiefly

Why wait until you meet up to end it? You can use the same mode of communications that has been sufficient for the last 2 years - text.

Normally I would not recommend using text to end a relationshi but I wouldnt call this a relationship. Even as a parent, I would be v concerned about the avoidance - that is hard to explain.

He could well be a very nice lad but that is not the behaviour of someone that is serious about a girl, tiredness will rarely keep you away from a girl at that age - if you genuinely care for her.

So, I would not think twice about texting him your decision & reasons and see what happens then.