The Girl Next Door...

LegacyUser

Hi,

I recently got to know my neighbour... When I first met her, I presumed she had a boyfriend, as I nearly always fancy women who are already hooked up. Then I never thought about it again.

A couple of weeks later she knocked on the door with a question about bins. I thought what the heck, I'll ask her out. I didn't actually ask her out on a date, though. The following Saturday I was going for lunch and I knocked on her door and asked her did she want to come along. She had people visiting for the weekend, so couldn't go. I left it at that.

Then, last week she knocked on my door and asked me if I wanted to go out. I was surprised, but delighted. I was on the way out myself, and I said I would call into her in an hour. When I called back she said she wasn't ready, and she wasn't sure if her flatmates were going to go out. Then she knocked on the door again, and said they weren't going out, and that if I was still interested we could go out. I said great, and after all of the to-ing and fro-ing we went out.

We had a fantastic time - I thought anyway. We really clicked. It didn't seem to matter what the subject was, the conversation just flowed. I really felt like we would never run out of things to say. We had great fun together. I was stunned, and delighted. I haven't been on a date like that in the longest time. On the way home she told me some incredibly personal stuff about herself. I was delighted that she was so open.

When we got home, I asked her if she wanted to come in for a while. I meant nothing by it, I just wanted the date to last a bit longer. Then, she kind of bolted, is the best way I can put it. She said she had to get up early in the morning. I knew she didn't. We had a little hug, and that was it.

Two days later I knocked on her door. We talked for a few minutes. She said she was on the phone, and had to go. The next day was Saturday, so I called into her and asked her if she wanted to go for lunch. She said she was busy with project work for college which was due on Monday. She said that she could meet me next Saturday. I don't know what it was, whether it was the way I asked her (I had pretty much written it off as a lost cause by this stage), or what but something in the way she responded, led me to believe that she just wants to be friends. I just have a feeling that Saturday is not going to happen.

I just want an objective opinion on this.. sorry for the essay.

AnonMous

Hi Op,

Ordinarily i'd say that she was leading you on by saying she'd go out Saturday. I used to always think the worst in situations like that. However, she could well have been busy with college and could have been on the phone that time as well.

My advice would be to take a deep breath, chill out and see if she calls to you on Saturday. If she doesn't, leave it for a few days and if you haven't heard from her, you'll know she isn't interested. Don't keep asking her to do things because you run the risk of looking like a needy/desperate person...this is a harsh reminder of the dating scene here in Ireland.

I hope it works out the way you want it to.

Take it easy,

A

LegacyUser

OP,

Speaking as a college student, it's a very, very busy time in the academic year right now so I wouldn't feel too put off by her telling you she's busy, it's more than likely the truth. Had you kissed before you invited her in? If not, I think you made a mistake by doing so as it basically looked like you were trying to jump a few steps ahead. No long term damage could be done by it though.

Do you have her number? I would say give her a bit of breathing space as, as I said, it's a very busy time right now so she might already be stressed. If you see her about, tell her you're getting a pizza and ask if she'd like to join you or something equally as casual. Let her know you'd a great time with her and would love to spend some time with her again when she's not so busy with college. But do so in a friendly, non-desperate way.

Best of luck

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies everyone, I will keep you posted...