Had a great weekend but keep getting so depressed because of prostitute

LegacyUser

Hi,
It's not because of calling or getting the prostitute in the first place.I've been depressed for a good few years and am gradually coming out of it. I've little experience with girls and figure maybe a pro is a good idea to build up abit of confidence.

Anyway it was after a long day drinking and I gave her a ring - I wasnt completely drunk, we were just slowly drinking them throughout the day, I wasn't able to perform anyway due to problems with becoming erect.

I feel really bad but it's mostly because of what her opinion is of me? That's what's destroying me! I don't feel good about my body. I suppose I was exposing something to her that I've always been so ashamed of and contributes to alot of self esteem issues. I never show anybody my body.

Anyways that's where I am - Maybe I just need to let time pass but depression is horrible. If I do something else I forget it but then it's just blasts through me again every now and again - horrible.

How do I get around this body issue I wonder?

LegacyUser

I've tried so many things to change like diet and exercise but I've always failed.

Now that I'm coming out of depression I'll start again hopefully. Thanks for that perspective on the prostitute situation. That really has made me feel better.

LegacyUser

sunflower27 wrote: »

You could always work on your body. Join a gym, build up your confidence.

Look around you, very few men have perfectly toned bodies.

You have to work on your self esteem and self worth. Is there any physical reason that would stop you working out?

No pointsitting around, drinking and hating yourself.

Get off your backside and help yourself.

Don't worry about what the prostitute thought of you. Am sure she has seen men of all shapes and sizes. You are merely a client, nothing more. And you arent the first client she will meet that can't perform after drinking.

You can help yourself, but you have to want to.

I suppose there is no physical reason that would stop me from working out no. I just can never stick at it. I think it's only weights that would build me up like I need to and I find them very tough.

If I had someone to go to the gym with we could push each other but none of my friends would be into doing that.

You say you have to want to help yourself, where do I get this want from though? Are the reasons I want to do it shallow or where does the real motivation and drive come from?

IrishEyes19

sunflower27 wrote: »

You could always work on your body. Join a gym, build up your confidence.

Look around you, very few men have perfectly toned bodies.

You have to work on your self esteem and self worth. Is there any physical reason that would stop you working out?

No pointsitting around, drinking and hating yourself.

Get off your backside and help yourself.

Don't worry about what the prostitute thought of you. Am sure she has seen men of all shapes and sizes. You are merely a client, nothing more. And you arent the first client she will meet that can't perform after drinking.

You can help yourself, but you have to want to.

Exactly and also, drinking also can effect performance, OP, but more importantly affects how you view yourself. Even from people who dont suffer from depression, it can lower your mood so much if you're feeling down or insecure, maybe when you want to approach someone or become intimate, give the drink a miss for the night and see how it goes! all the best

Little Acorn

You say you have to want to help yourself, where do I get this want from though? Are the reasons I want to do it shallow or where does the real motivation and drive come from?

The motivation comes from exactly how you are feeling right now.
Depressed, no confidence.
You know that you don't want to feel like this anymore,and have come to that point where you realise that it is actually affecting your life badly, and that if you don't do something then nothing is going to change, except maybe get worse.
That is your motivation right there, nothing shallow about it.

cantdecide

dsfsddsddfsa wrote: »

...Now that I'm coming out of depression I'll start again...

dsfsddsddfsa wrote: »

I suppose there is no physical reason that would stop me from working out no. I just can never stick at it. I think it's only weights that would build me up like I need to and I find them very tough.

If I had someone to go to the gym with we could push each other but none of my friends would be into doing that.

You say you have to want to help yourself, where do I get this want from though? Are the reasons I want to do it shallow or where does the real motivation and drive come from?

I can sympathize with almost everything you’ve said, OP. I tend to keep a bit of weight on and struggle with the idea of as well as the fact of losing it. I’ve also had my share of black days.

The idea of going to the gym and becoming ‘buff’ to score women etc. would make me feel like a knucklehead. I’m uneasy with that idea. I am willing to bet there is a level of sabotage in your behaviour. Depression is a b****. In terms of self improvement under the cloud of depression, you will always outsmart yourself. It’s very difficult to get ahead when you are suffering depression. You have a new opportunity to take advantage of the fact that you are emerging from worse times. It’s a new year and a new attitude so why not a new and improved you?

I can assure you, the best thing to do is stop over-thinking things. You will always talk yourself out of what’s good for you if you feel you don’t deserve it. Unfortunately, there is a direct link between how you look and how you feel. Again, you have to look at this as an opportunity to improve your lot.

Personally, I like to walk. I walk virtually every day. It lifts my spirits and improves my wellbeing. If I’m having a bad day, I will force myself to go and I know I will feel better by the time I get home. It never leaves me down. At the moment, without too much upheaval in my life, I’m as trim as I’ve been in years. The trick is not to pressurise yourself and to *be patient*. Rome wasn’t built in a day. If bulking up is what you want to do, I’d suggest buying some weights to use at home and get into a sustainable regime. Don’t run off to the mirror every time you finish. EVENTUALLY, you’ll see improvements which will spur you on. At that stage, you’ll start thinking about new avenues like joining gyms, getting diet advice etc. This is where the fire in your belly stems from: seeing real progress and the benefits and wanting to fully maximise your efforts.

Good luck OP.