Wedding Invites - when to send?

LBD

Hi Folks,

Have searched for a similar thread and couldnt find one so apologies if I am doubling up!

Am wondering when you think it's best to send the invites? Am getting mixed reviews and am getting more confused by the day!! We are getting married mid July this year and more and more people are telling me about 3 months in advance (so people can plan around summer hols etc) whereas on searching the web the standard is 6-8weeks?

Thoughts would be appreciated!!

janbaby

I'm sending the invites about 3 months before the wedding to let people plan around it. I don't see why your shouldn't send them early! Its like sending Save the date.

Cadyboo

Sent out my sisters 11 weeks before the wedding. Want rsvps back 6 weeks before the wedding. So that gave people 5 weeks to write the reply and send them back. We are now in week 4 and only received about 15, out of about 100. :eek: They want to get a move on now. So my point, it doesn't matter when you send them, it seems a lot of people won't reply until the last minute!!

seamus

I think it's generally accepted that if all or most of your guests already know that they're going, you don't have to get them way in advance.

But you also need to consider your guests' needs. If they will need to travel and/or book accommodation, then six weeks is pushing it as it will be tough to get good deals that late on hotels and B & Bs. You're getting married in July, height of the tourist season, so good manners would dictate that you give people as much time as possible to get booked in.

We sent out a save the date note about six months in advance, along with details of accomodation costs, local B & Bs, etc. Then we sent out the proper invite around 10 week beforehand (I think).

6 weeks would be fine if people don't have to do much more than take time off work and get their suit/dress dry cleaned. If there's more for them to do, give them more time.

Cadyboo - there's more fun in store for you. Some people just won't respond. They won't even call you to tell you yay or nay. We had to strike off one of my wife's cousins. We got no response from them, no phonecall, and when we asked the cousin's mother, all she could say was, "I dunno, probably not". On the day we just operated on the presumption that they weren't going to turn up (they didn't).

A number of other people just weren't arsed, we got messages through facebook. Some people claimed they lost the RSVP. Others said it was too much effort. With the invite we sent out a stamped addressed envelope. All they had to do was tick yes or no, seal the envelope and drop it in a mailbox as they passed by. Still too much work for some people.

It's an eye-opening experience. Never underestimate people's rudeness or apathy.

bills

I plan on sending mine 3 months as sending a good few abroad & gives plenty of time for people to get organised also.

LBD

Thanks for your responses lads. I think given the month thats in it 3months might be the best way to go to avoid anybody claiming they weren't given enough notice!

Seamus - people never cease to amaze me. I am a bit nervous about this part of it as peoples lack of consideration tends to stress me out a bit! Although I should probably give them a chance to respond before I write them all off I suppose

Also we were a bit dis-organised planning the big day. Only heard of the save the date cards until it was a bit too late, that would have been a great idea, take the pressure off a bit. Although being part of a big Irish family the word of mouth has been a powerful thing!

Toots

Just posted nearly an identical reply in another thread, but I'd totally second what Seamus said, be prepared to ring a pile of people after the RSVP date cos they just won't have bothered to reply.

I sent invitations 4 months in advance for people coming from abroad just so they could make arrangements for flights etc, and 3 months for everything else. My RSVP date was 5 weeks before the wedding. Most of my husband's extended family had to be phoned about 3 weeks before the wedding, because they hadn't replied. To be fair, one of them didn't receive the invitation, I think the others just assumed that we'd figure they were coming if we didn't hear back. :eek:

He has a huge family and they wouldn't be in touch with each other all that much, whereas my own extended family were all accounted for within a week of receiving their invitations.

kandr10

I'm also getting married in July and have them sent since about 2 weeks ago. You should be grand within 3 months. I agree that the 6-8 week thing is just not enough notice.
It's awful to hear that people are so bad at RSVPing, but then I got 2 invites last year and forgot to reply to both! It's exactly why I didn't bother with including the cards - waste of money I think. Like that, a lot of friends were asking if they have to RSVP cos they just assumed we'd know. Lots of fun ahead anyway waiting for that

ana_conda

I agree 3 months seems to be the norm these days

toadfly

We got two invites last week, one wedding is mid april and the other beginning of May. Very late notice.

ana_conda

TillyGirl wrote: »

We got two invites last week, one wedding is mid april and the other beginning of May. Very late notice.

I would agree way too short! I don't know why it's 6 weeks - 3 months what's wrong with 6 months?

There are so many different demands in people's lives! I say the more notice the better. Lets face it; most couples know their wedding date and venue a year in advance. Why hold it back from your guest?

Maybe it relates to response for the hotels? It's never made any sense to me.

toadfly

ana_conda wrote: »

I would agree way too short! I don't know why it's 6 weeks - 3 months what's wrong with 6 months?

I dunno the one in mid april we knew we were definitely going but the other one I wasnt sure if we would be invited. My sister is getting married in August I'll make sure she gets her invites out in plently of time!

Cadyboo

seamus wrote: »

Cadyboo - there's more fun in store for you. Some people just won't respond. They won't even call you to tell you yay or nay. We had to strike off one of my wife's cousins. We got no response from them, no phonecall, and when we asked the cousin's mother, all she could say was, "I dunno, probably not". On the day we just operated on the presumption that they weren't going to turn up (they didn't).

A number of other people just weren't arsed, we got messages through facebook. Some people claimed they lost the RSVP. Others said it was too much effort. With the invite we sent out a stamped addressed envelope. All they had to do was tick yes or no, seal the envelope and drop it in a mailbox as they passed by. Still too much work for some people.

It's an eye-opening experience. Never underestimate people's rudeness or apathy.

She received another 20 since I last posted. All from people we knew were coming! She is stressed enough without that on top of her too. I always post my rsvps, the minute I know whether or not I can attend.

bytheglass

Has anyone sent out Save-The-Dates?
I think they are a lovely idea, any idea when they should be sent out?

ana_conda

bytheglass wrote: »

Has anyone sent out Save-The-Dates?
I think they are a lovely idea, any idea when they should be sent out?

I think save the date is a must! Then it's perfectly OK to leave the invites for posting at the 6 week mark if you do this.

As soon as you know your definite date then work on your save the date cards/txt/e-invites ....what ever way you wish to let people know