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Am I barking up the wrong tree?

  • 21-03-2011 4:08am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi folks.
    Before I even begin to explain my conundrum there's a bit you need to know about me.
    I'm a 21 year old mail, i'm gay without being feminine. In fact I'd nearly use the term "straight acting". I came out about a year ago and have had nothing but positive reactions around me for which I am of course grateful.

    This is were it gets tricky
    I'm from a rural area in Kilkenny. About 10 miles outside, I live with my mother although I am rarely at home. I have found it next to impossible to find decent blokes for a chat. So I turned to gaydar and the other sites. After the countless idiots I encountered I finally came across a gay couple I was interested in meeting. When I did I was welcomed by both parties with a warm smile and open arms. They explained how they fell in love and even opened my eyes to what being gay really was, when one man LOVES another.

    After the first month or so of being friends, I realized I had a growing attraction for one of the men. To make matters worse, they asked me how I felt about three-somes. And me being naive and impulsive (and some thing about my age :P ) I jumped on! Since then I have really fallen for this guy (Man A) and I spend most of my spare time and lonely nights wishing I was in his arms. He really seems to enjoy my company. Calls me his little cub, and really know's what I like to hear.

    Its now been 4 months of friends with benefits with these two men and while I have enjoyed it I feel I am pissing in the wind.
    While they have a long term relationship, in reality i'm still single and having to settle for my toy boy role!

    So what do I do?
    Stop seeing these these two all together. Why am I settling for second place!
    But fall back into my lonely life.
    Say some thing to Man A about how I really feel and risk being put down.
    or
    Say nothing for now and see how things are in another few months.

    Any way before the suggestions come poring in (heres me praying) i'd like to make it clear that I don't really want to attend belongto etc. I know what I am and have dealt with it on my own.


Comments

  • #2
    Aard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,905 ✭✭✭Aard


    They'll probably never break up just for you. Yeah, you're pissing in the wind. Find a bf who's single.


  • #3
    Annasopra
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41,158 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    What exactly do you want?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Man A to be brutely honest. He's the only man i've ever felt this stongley for.
    Without him I have nothing :(


  • #5
    foggy_lad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,373 ✭✭✭✭foggy_lad


    Lonelylobster wrote: »
    Man A to be brutely honest. He's the only man i've ever felt this stongley for.
    Without him I have nothing :(
    Then it is likely you have nothing:( as Man A is highly unlikely to leave Man B for someone they use to spice up their flagging sex life.


  • #6
    Zodiac2000
    Closed Accounts Posts: 61 ✭✭Zodiac2000


    Its stories like these that really .....


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  • #7
    40040D
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 252 ✭✭40040D


    If I were you I'd probably tell Man A how I really feel but I wouldn't be expecting anything out of it. I'd tell him to let him know and to get the burden off my chest.

    A similar thing happened with me, It took alot of courage (I think anyway) but after about a year I told him how I really felt. He's a very close friend and it was only awkward for about a week ! Thankfully we're still great friends.
    Lonelylobster wrote: »
    ...He's the only man i've ever felt this stongley for.
    Without him I have nothing :(

    If you keep thinking like this it will drag you down so much. Honestly you don't need to be depressed thinking about something that might not happen.

    P.S You still have everything ! Yourself, your friends, your family..and a roof over your head ! ...and most importantly access to Boards.ie :p

    Hope this helps:)
    L.J


  • #8
    !!!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 329 ✭✭!!!


    This is ridiculous. Post in Personal Issues instead is my advice. Don't understand why you posted here...

    Anyway, wake up. Not gonna happen.

    *sorry if I come across as rude, i'm just being blunt.


  • #9
    Locker10a
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 4,218 Mod ✭✭✭✭Locker10a


    i know exactly what the issue is! You want what you cant have ! Its human nature ! Im in a very simular situation as you from the point of having very strong feeling for someone , i havent had sex with them !
    Its important you move on now eleminate him from your life now! The sooner the better trust me its will save you alot of personal issues in the future! You know him 4 months ! So you dont truly love him but before you start to, delete him from your life! I have had this situation for 2 years now heed me when i tell you get out NOW . PM me if you need more advice or need to chat! Kk


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