new man more toned and buff than me!

Hi
I need advice/comment from women. I have recently started dating a lovely guy. He is very attractive ,quiet, interested in being with me more, very male - with a seriously toned and buff body. Yeah i should feel lucky - but i feel completely lacking in confidence now as he has not one spare ounce of flesh on him and works out a lot. I am 3 years older than him, am tall, attractive and fit with a good body too as I am a Pilates teacher - but I am also a mum of 3 and in my late 40's so there is some celllulite and broken veins here and there!! I have not been in a relationship for a year. He is happy with me and very loving and attentive - the problem is all mine! I am wondering if all this will get better as we get to know each other more - I don't want my lack of body confidence to wreck things! Any one else ever feel like this?

LambsEye

It's natural to feel a little bit of body worry when you start seeing someone new. I'm sure lots of ladies feel this way but to be honest, I would almost guarantee that he doesn't notice your wobbly bits or flaws. The one thing that would make it worse is if you were really conscious of it and made a big deal about it.

My male friends would tell me; "do you REALLY think that when we're in bed with a girl we're going: "Oooo her tummy wobbles slightly, I'm disgusted."

No, if they go to bed with a girl, or in your case if they start dating you, then he's clearly attracted to you so I wouldn't worry.

NOW! If I could only take my own advice..:)

squeakyduck

Don't worry, my boyfriend is skin and bone all toned and stuff, I'm not!!!!! He used to swim for years! There is a reason he's with you now, you must be doing something right.

Bits of me I hate my boyfriend loves (for what reason I don't know!!) but he loves for a reason. Let your inhibitions go! We are all going to be self conscious at some point, but go and have some fun!

Enjoy!

Logical Fallacy

Deleted User wrote: »

Hi
I need advice/comment from women. I have recently started dating a lovely guy. He is very attractive ,quiet, interested in being with me more, very male - with a seriously toned and buff body. Yeah i should feel lucky - but i feel completely lacking in confidence now as he has not one spare ounce of flesh on him and works out a lot. I am 3 years older than him, am tall, attractive and fit with a good body too as I am a Pilates teacher - but I am also a mum of 3 and in my late 40's so there is some celllulite and broken veins here and there!! I have not been in a relationship for a year. He is happy with me and very loving and attentive - the problem is all mine! I am wondering if all this will get better as we get to know each other more - I don't want my lack of body confidence to wreck things! Any one else ever feel like this?

It'll get better, most people seem to feel some mild insecurity at the start of a relationship and it nearly always fades in time as people get comfortable with each other.

(I'm not a woman, but it's a human issue, so i hope you don't mind my posting)

thanks for all the reassurance! I know its just beginners nerves - he is more toned than me and also a bit smaller in height as I am quite tall - so I end up feeling "big"!
I have 2 gorgeous daughters in their late teens with great figures yet they often stress about their bum looking big, tummy bloated, skin bad etc etc and believe me they have NOTHING to worry about!
I heard on the radio the other day
"men look in the mirror and see what they like, women look in the mirror and see what they don't like" Its a woman thing.

will take your reassurance on board and enjoy things!:)

Count Duckula

Everyone has slight imperfections, I wouldn't worry about it. It'd be scary if someone were without any "flaws" - they'd look like a Barbie doll!

I can tell you that there's nothing more attractive to a man than a woman comfortable with herself and with you. I'm sure the same is true in reverse, too.

He likes you, and I'm sure he loves what he sees. Next time you're getting intimate, don't worry about whether he's seen your cellulite, focus on what his tongue is doing! That's what he wants too, after all.

Deleted User wrote: »

"men look in the mirror and see what they like, women look in the mirror and see what they don't like" Its a woman thing.

Just a quick heads up - that ain't true! I can sometimes be very insecure about my body, but I have a loving girlfriend who'll reassure me. It's not an issue now for you since your new man sounds like he's very fit, but keep in mind that if he takes that much pride in his body when he starts to age it might start to wound his pride. Don't think he's immune to body insecurity because he's a man!

Poor Craythur

Deleted User wrote: »

I have 2 gorgeous daughters in their late teens with great figures yet they often stress about their bum looking big, tummy bloated, skin bad etc etc and believe me they have NOTHING to worry about!

I hear that, I thought I was of average slimness as a teenager, when I was really a skinny little thing!

G86

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

It'll get better, most people seem to feel some mild insecurity at the start of a relationship and it nearly always fades in time as people get comfortable with each other.

(I'm not a woman, but it's a human issue, so i hope you don't mind my posting)

This is so true, I'm sure he has his own insecurities too! Plus I guarantee you they'll be things that you don't even notice, and the same thing applies to yours! When you're worrying about your wobbly bits he's just focusing on your boobs(big or small, it doesn't matter - boobs are boobs!), and when you're worrying about your cellulite he's probably distracted by your amazing derriere! See where I'm going with this...?!

I've often dated guys in way better shape than me, but I couldn't give a toss, I just sit back and enjoy the view:p