Accused of being Racist over a Girl

LegacyUser

I have been put in a very awkward position and I might lose my job because of it. I work in a small company and recently a beautiful girl from Clare started working there. Almost instantly she had every guy in the place fighting for her attention. She seemed to like me but there is a very persistent Nigerian guy who works with us who was almost obsessed about her. Anyway, we started going out and the Nigerian guy kept txting her trying to get her to break it off with me. She ignored the txts and then 2 weeks ago he started telling her that I had been racist towards him and nasty. She ignored these txts again but now hes gone to HR to complain about me making racist remarks towards him. There is another Nigerian worker in the company who hes very friendly with and hes gone and also complained about me. Now I have a very serious meeting on Friday in which I could get fired. They keep pestering my partner and are now brandishing her a racist for going out with me. The initial Nigerian guy is telling her that if she should go out for a drink with him in order to prove that shes not racist as well. I really don't know what to do.

Miss Fluff

It's not clear from your post whether this accusation is unfounded or not. Have you made racist remarks?

seamus

You both go in there and you tell your side of the story. Both you and her should make a note of any/all conversations that that you have with these guys and what they've said. You're entitled to have another member of staff with you at this meeting. Bring your girlfriend.

She should also not delete any texts, or if she has try and get them from a backup (depends on the type of phone obviously). Same for you, if they've texted/emailed any abuse to you, hold onto the texts. People who are being bullied would not send abusive texts to their bully nor engage them in conversation. If you were hassling these men, they would not even speak to you, so make a point of showing evidence of how often these men harrass you and your girlfriend.

If it's a small company then the management are likely aware of what these guys are like.

At the end of the day it's their word against yours and since they have no evidence the company have no basis on which to punish you.

There's no need for solicitors yet, but if the company attempts to formally punish you in any way (including verbal warnings), then I would speak to a solicitor in regards to your employment rights and looking at taking a defamation action against the two men involved.

micdug

Presuming you did not make any remarks that could be construed as racist, I suggest:
1.If a Union rep is available bring him/her if not bring someone you trust - the more senior the better.
2. Ask for the accustation against you to be put in writing. This must include dates and times of alleged incidents.
3. As far as possible match up the dates and times and see who could have/would have witnessed it or provide you with an alibi. If you can prove that you were not even present at even one of these "incidents" then not only are you off but the complainer is in a serious position.
4. Make sure your GF does not delete the txts/mails. If possible print them out with dates and bring to the meeting to show cause.

Best of luck and fight it, nothing worse then having a black cloud over your name.

Peanut2011

OP, the best you can do is ask for proof. At this stage it's their word against yours. If it escalates your OH should be brought in as they are harassing her. Once all the evidence is gathered if you two have really done nothing and ignored it than you should not have a problem.

However, one question comes to mind. How does the Nigerian man have your OH's number?

LegacyUser

OP again. No I never made any comments its all a lie. To another poster, its a small company so we all have each other's phone numbers. There lies another problem because apparently the Nigerian has been texting others to tell them I've been racist towards him as well which is resulting in people being noticably more cold towards me. Hes pretty convincing.

seamus

rgfwe3 wrote: »

OP again. No I never made any comments its all a lie. To another poster, its a small company so we all have each other's phone numbers. There lies another problem because apparently the Nigerian has been texting others to tell them I've been racist towards him as well which is resulting in people being noticably more cold towards me. Hes pretty convincing.

Well then I'd take the opportunity at your meeting to make a counter complaint of bullying and harrassment from these men.

As I say, if you were really the bad guy here and harrassing these men, they wouldn't be going around saying it to all and sundry.

If it's escalated to the stage that you say, I wouldn't be waiting around until the end of next week, I'd be insisting that the meeting was held on Monday, with him and your girlfriend present.

IrishEyes19

First thing is, you have to tell it as it is, like you have here, just explain its over you co worker, and the fact that he is interested in her.

Sonics2k

I hope your OH has the texts, you can use them to essentially "prove" that you have been a victim of sorts here.

Being in an environment where you have been accused of racism will have a lasting effect on your time at the job (assuming you are cleared of the charges), but if you can show from your OH phone that he has been making these claims for a while, you can show to your co-workers that you have been framed.

Best of luck OP, can't say this sounds like any kind of good situation to be in.