Manager taking personal pics

LegacyUser

Hey guys, in a bit a predicament. I work with men and always have had the craic and banter I suppose to fit in and be one of the lads. However, my manager has a big fascination with me and is constantly making remarks to me in relation to my ass or boobs. I have always brushed it off and would never retaliate with dirty comments. I'd normally laugh because of nerves more so and being uncomfortable.

I normally wear baggy clothes to try and stop the comments but some days if I have more fitted clothes on the comments I get are like "oh ..... what I wouldn't do to you", "I can't walk now after seeing you in thoses clothes" "my god your boobs are looking well today" "Nice smile...referring to my ass". I have just put up with it for so long but the line has finally been drawn.

I was asked to have my photo taken for the website, I said I didn't want to be on it. They said I had no choice. So my manager started taking photos of me. I thought he was taking my face then he showed me one were he had zoomed in on my boobs, said he was going to show my other workmate. I said to delete them. Then I get an email of this picture which he had sent to my workmate also.

It's not the first time he has taken photos of me because he thought I looked well. These always made me feel uncomfortable. Anyways this photo of my boobs made me upset because as I said I thought he was taking them of my face.

My problem is I don't know where to go from here. If I report him he's going to make my life hell and as he is a vindictive person he will get me sacked. If I say it to him, he's going to tell me to lighten up. I get on great with these guys but I feel sick thinking that they get turned on.

My boyfriend said I should sue them, but I feel bad. Reason is I was out of work for 7months and they took me in when I had nothing while the other lady that works part time was out sick. It was only supposed to be a temporary job but they have kept me on. I'd appreciate any outside advice.

Morag

You are being sexually harassed in your job, if anyone should be sacked it's that manager.
I would suggest you forward that email on to the HR dept wiht the headers intact and ask for a copy of thier sexual harasshement policy.

LegacyUser

I know that I'm being sexually harrassed but the funny thing is we don't have a HR department. I look after applications etc and most other areas. I never received a contract and they don't like to give them out here. The way the company is run is like something from the golden age!! I have done an employment law course in a previous company. I know what I have to do but it's very hard when it is actally happening to you and with no one to really turn to. The owner is all talk, if I report it to him he'll pretend to be shocked and say oh I'll sack the manager but then won't do anything about it!

I see what goes on here and how easily they get rid of staff for the most stupid thing. I know I should go further it's just hard.

AnonoBoy

Definitely go to HR.

If it's a small company and there's no HR department then go to whoever is above him.

They'll sort him out pretty sharpish. Court cases have been won over a lot less.

cantdecide

I can't believe how much this crapola goes on. Don't people have any cop on?I'm sure you realise that you have to set your ground rules about this kind of crap very early in new employment and wherever else you might find yourself in blokey company. This is necessary no matter how much you wish to have a good rapport with colleagues. This never has to be a full on confrontation but you have to stress to people that it's inappropriate before they get into bad habits. This in itself will make you uncomfortable but it is necessary if you want to ultimately get on with people in a healthy way.

Your mistake is engaging in this "craic" from the off. All you can do now, IMO is approach him one to one in an official manner and tell him in no uncertain terms that taking those photos is totally inappropriate and you wish him to erase them and stop all this 'craic' immediately. What's more, you didn't think that this kind of "craic" was going to be a permanent feature of your employment and it has been making you uncomfortable for a very long time. Also, demand that he have a word with your colleagues too.

No job is worth putting up with that rubbish. You will have people telling you not to jeopardize your employment but if you want to have a quality of life at work, *doing something* will be necessary. In reality, if you are firm and professional, you should have your way. You could assure him that this will all be water under the bridge if this is taken care of. No manager would risk being reported to upper management over a dirty thing like a sexual harassment accusation, especially where you have email evidence.

He must realise at this stage that you could take the company to the cleaners if you wanted to make a big deal over this.

LegacyUser

Cantdecide, that is great advice. I know I was wrong from the start for having the 'craic'. I used to work with them years ago and it was always funny things it's just this time round it seems to have esculated to more shrewd comments.

I know I could take them to the cleaners but I'm not like that. I am a strong person and can say it to him just it will be difficult. I didn't mind a laugh and funny jokes but it just seems every day now I seem to be getting the sexual related comments.

Thanks for everyones advice. Cantdecide, my manager isn't in today. Do you think it would be better to email him. At least then I have a paper trail?

LegacyUser

If you think he is vindictive or won't take this seriously in a professional manner i would email him and save it. Tbh i would definitely email the owner the mails you were sent making sure you include the headers to show he sent it to another colleague. I would let the owner know that this situation has been making you uncomfortable and has been going on for some time, that you've raised it with the manager in question and expect it to stop immediately. If it doesn't you will be going through other avenues to ensure it ceases.

Good luck!!!

cantdecide

My feeling is that it is better that you face him this time. It's good you see yourself as strong enough to do so.

I think that if you go fully formal at this stage, he might be resentful. I think he will ultimately respect the fact that you've decided to try and sorth things out between yourselves. I think it will help get you all back where you need to be. Assuming this has the desired effect this time, I wouldn't give him any second chances. If he tries this type of thing again, you could try emailing him then and refering back to this occasion.

It might be worth starting a 'contemporaneous account' (ie diary) of these events as a precaution.

little lady

Hi

What's happening to you is terrible and regardless of how you felt in the past if it bothers you now then it has to stop!

"The Employment Equality Agency defines sexual harassment as behaviour which includes unreciprocated and unwelcome comments, looks, jokes, suggestions or physical contact which might threaten a person's job security or create a stressful or intimidating working environment. The crucial determining factor is that the behaviour is unwelcome to the recipient”

As for your contract, by law the company has to supply you with Written Terms of Employment and if they haven’t done so they must give it to you if you request it.

You do not have to put up with this and they are not allowed cause you grief if you complain, they may do, but if it is bad enough that you felt you had to leave then you have a serious case to take against them

I use to work in a very male dominated company and yes we all had the banter but once it crossed the line I made a complaint and it stopped with no repercussions. Just because you enjoy a bit of banter with the lads doesn’t give any of them the right to make you feel uncomfortable or to sexually harass you.

You can either have a quite word with the manager; and afterwards put what you have said in writing to him, or you can make a formal complaint, either way you need to stop this before it gets any worse for you.

Best of luck

Lads she has said she doesnt have a HR dept

Overheal

In a pickle wrote: »

It's not the first time he has taken photos of me because he thought I looked well. These always made me feel uncomfortable. Anyways this photo of my boobs made me upset because as I said I thought he was taking them of my face.

My problem is I don't know where to go from here. If I report him he's going to make my life hell and as he is a vindictive person he will get me sacked. If I say it to him, he's going to tell me to lighten up. I get on great with these guys but I feel sick thinking that they get turned on.

My boyfriend said I should sue them, but I feel bad. Reason is I was out of work for 7months and they took me in when I had nothing while the other lady that works part time was out sick. It was only supposed to be a temporary job but they have kept me on. I'd appreciate any outside advice.

They've kept you on to objectify and sexually harass you. Do you feel good wondering what you are getting that paycheck for?

You have to report them.







The Employment Equality Acts 1998-2008 place an obligation on all employers in Ireland to prevent harassment in the workplace. Under this law, you are entitled to bring a claim to the Equality Tribunal and your employer may be obliged to pay you compensation if you are harassed by reason of your:

• Gender
• Marital status
• Family status, for example, as a parent of a child
• Sexual orientation
• Age
• Disability
• Race
• Religious belief
• Membership of the Traveller community

Harassment and sexual harassment

Harassment based on any of the above grounds is a form of discrimination in relation to conditions of employment. The Employment Equality Acts 1998-2008 define harassment as “unwanted conduct” which is related to any of the 9 discriminatory grounds above. Sexual harassment is any form of “unwanted verbal, non-verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature”. In both cases it is defined as conduct which “has the purpose or effect of violating a person’s dignity and creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for the person” and it is prohibited under the Acts.
The “unwanted conduct” includes spoken words, gestures or the production and display of written words, pictures and other material. This includes offensive gestures or facial expressions, unwelcome and offensive calendars, screen-savers, e-mails and any other offensive material.
Bullying at work when it is related to one of the discriminatory grounds is covered by the Employment Equality Acts. Harassment and bullying at work which is not linked to a discriminatory ground is a health and safety issue - see 'How to apply' below.
Harassment can be by a fellow worker, your boss or someone in a superior position, a client, a customer or any other business contact. Harassment can take place at work or on a training course, on a work trip, at a work social event or any other occasion connected with your job.
Under the Acts, your employer may also be held responsible if harassment takes place completely outside the course of your employment but you are treated differently at work because of your rejection or acceptance of the harassment. If you bring a claim against your employer for harassment, your employer may have a defence by showing that he or she took reasonably practical steps to prevent the harassment from happening or to prevent you from being treated differently at work. If you bring a claim under the Acts, you cannot then be subjected to victimisation at work.
Your employer should have a policy and procedures to deal with and prevent harassment at work. The policy should set out what is unacceptable behaviour at work. An effective grievance or complaints procedure should be in place to deal with complaints about harassment. All employees must be aware of these policy and procedures. The Equality Authority has published a Code of Practice on Sexual Harassment and Harassment at Work (pdf), aimed at employers, employees, and trade unions that clearly explains the rights, responsibilities and obligations of the various parties.
How to apply

If you wish to make a complaint about harassment, you should begin by making it very clear to the person concerned that you find his or her behaviour, conduct, material and so on, unacceptable and offensive. If you find this uncomfortable or too difficult to do, you should seek support (or for an initial approach to be made on your behalf) by a sympathetic friend or colleague, a designated person at work or a trade union representative. Very often, an informal approach like this will resolve the issue.
Sometimes, an informal approach is not enough to resolve the issue and in situations where the harassment continues, you may need to consider making a formal complaint. Your employer's policy on harassment should clearly set out what will happen when a formal complaint is made, how the complaint will be investigated and who will carry out the investigation, taking into account issues of confidentiality and the rights of both parties.
The Equality Tribunal investigates and/or mediates disputes in relation to the implementation of the employment equality legislation. If you feel that your complaint about harassment on one of the discriminatory grounds has not been dealt with properly by your employer, you can bring your case to the Equality Tribunal. You can make a complaint under the Employment Equality Acts using form EE1 (pdf) which is available from the Equality Tribunal. There is more information about making a complaint under the Employment Equality Acts 1998-2008 (pdf).
The Equality Authority has a general remit to promote equality and can give advice and, in some cases, legal assistance if you wish to bring a claim of harassment under the Employment Equality Acts.
Complaints under the Employment Equality Acts must be brought within 6 months of the last act of harassment. This time limit can be increased to 12 months if “reasonable cause” for the delay can be shown. If a person is unable to pursue a claim effectively because of an intellectual or physiological disability a parent, guardian or other person acting on behalf of the complainant can bring a complaint.
The Health and Safety Authority provides information and advice on bullying at work. It is responsible for the Code of Practice for Employers and Employees on the Prevention and Resolution of Bullying at Work (pdf). It aims to ensure that workplace bullying is not tolerated and that employers have procedures for dealing with bullying at work.

Where to apply



Equality Tribunal

3 Clonmel Street
Dublin 2
Ireland
Tel:
+353 (0)1 477 4100
Locall:
1890 34 44 24
Fax:
+353 (0)1 477 4141
Homepage:
http://www.equalitytribunal.ie/
Email:
info@equalitytribunal.ie




The Equality Authority

Birchgrove House
Roscrea
Tipperary
Ireland
Tel:
+353 (0)505 24126
Locall:
1890 245 545
Fax:
+353 (0)505 22388
Homepage:
http://www.equality.ie
Email:
info@equality.ie



Last updated: 29/04/2010

Doogieboogie

Overheal wrote: »

The Employment Equality Acts 1998-2008 place an obligation on all employers in Ireland to prevent harassment in the workplace. Under this law, you are entitled to bring a claim to the Equality Tribunal and your employer may be obliged to pay you compensation if you are harassed by reason of your:

• Gender
• Marital status
• Family status, for example, as a parent of a child
• Sexual orientation
• Age
• Disability
• Race
• Religious belief
• Membership of the Traveller community

Harassment and sexual harassment

Harassment based on any of the above grounds is a form of discrimination in relation to conditions of employment. The Employment Equality Acts 1998-2008 define harassment as “unwanted conduct” which is related to any of the 9 discriminatory grounds above. Sexual harassment is any form of “unwanted verbal, non-verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature”. In both cases it is defined as conduct which “has the purpose or effect of violating a person’s dignity and creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment for the person” and it is prohibited under the Acts.
The “unwanted conduct” includes spoken words, gestures or the production and display of written words, pictures and other material. This includes offensive gestures or facial expressions, unwelcome and offensive calendars, screen-savers, e-mails and any other offensive material.
Bullying at work when it is related to one of the discriminatory grounds is covered by the Employment Equality Acts. Harassment and bullying at work which is not linked to a discriminatory ground is a health and safety issue - see 'How to apply' below.
Harassment can be by a fellow worker, your boss or someone in a superior position, a client, a customer or any other business contact. Harassment can take place at work or on a training course, on a work trip, at a work social event or any other occasion connected with your job.
Under the Acts, your employer may also be held responsible if harassment takes place completely outside the course of your employment but you are treated differently at work because of your rejection or acceptance of the harassment. If you bring a claim against your employer for harassment, your employer may have a defence by showing that he or she took reasonably practical steps to prevent the harassment from happening or to prevent you from being treated differently at work. If you bring a claim under the Acts, you cannot then be subjected to victimisation at work.
Your employer should have a policy and procedures to deal with and prevent harassment at work. The policy should set out what is unacceptable behaviour at work. An effective grievance or complaints procedure should be in place to deal with complaints about harassment. All employees must be aware of these policy and procedures. The Equality Authority has published a Code of Practice on Sexual Harassment and Harassment at Work (pdf), aimed at employers, employees, and trade unions that clearly explains the rights, responsibilities and obligations of the various parties.
How to apply

If you wish to make a complaint about harassment, you should begin by making it very clear to the person concerned that you find his or her behaviour, conduct, material and so on, unacceptable and offensive. If you find this uncomfortable or too difficult to do, you should seek support (or for an initial approach to be made on your behalf) by a sympathetic friend or colleague, a designated person at work or a trade union representative. Very often, an informal approach like this will resolve the issue.
Sometimes, an informal approach is not enough to resolve the issue and in situations where the harassment continues, you may need to consider making a formal complaint. Your employer's policy on harassment should clearly set out what will happen when a formal complaint is made, how the complaint will be investigated and who will carry out the investigation, taking into account issues of confidentiality and the rights of both parties.
The Equality Tribunal investigates and/or mediates disputes in relation to the implementation of the employment equality legislation. If you feel that your complaint about harassment on one of the discriminatory grounds has not been dealt with properly by your employer, you can bring your case to the Equality Tribunal. You can make a complaint under the Employment Equality Acts using form EE1 (pdf) which is available from the Equality Tribunal. There is more information about making a complaint under the Employment Equality Acts 1998-2008 (pdf).
The Equality Authority has a general remit to promote equality and can give advice and, in some cases, legal assistance if you wish to bring a claim of harassment under the Employment Equality Acts.
Complaints under the Employment Equality Acts must be brought within 6 months of the last act of harassment. This time limit can be increased to 12 months if “reasonable cause” for the delay can be shown. If a person is unable to pursue a claim effectively because of an intellectual or physiological disability a parent, guardian or other person acting on behalf of the complainant can bring a complaint.
The Health and Safety Authority provides information and advice on bullying at work. It is responsible for the Code of Practice for Employers and Employees on the Prevention and Resolution of Bullying at Work (pdf). It aims to ensure that workplace bullying is not tolerated and that employers have procedures for dealing with bullying at work.

Where to apply



Equality Tribunal

3 Clonmel Street
Dublin 2
Ireland
Tel:
+353 (0)1 477 4100
Locall:
1890 34 44 24
Fax:
+353 (0)1 477 4141
Homepage:
http://www.equalitytribunal.ie/
Email:
info@equalitytribunal.ie




The Equality Authority

Birchgrove House
Roscrea
Tipperary
Ireland
Tel:
+353 (0)505 24126
Locall:
1890 245 545
Fax:
+353 (0)505 22388
Homepage:
http://www.equality.ie
Email:
info@equality.ie



Last updated: 29/04/2010

Copy and paste the above and email it back to him, along with your complaint in writing and screenshots of the email that went round. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you WILL take this further if the behaviour doesn't cease.

Big Bag of Chips

To be fair to this fella.. you have never made it clear to him that his comments and attention is unwanted. He is being a pr1ck, but, by your own admission, you have always laughed along at the "banter".

I think before you go all formal and threatening legal cases etc., you have to at least give him the chance to stop. Say it to him, clearly, with no room for misunderstanding, that it makes you very uncomfortable and you want him to stop.

If he doesn't, or if he laughs it off THEN you could go higher. But at the moment he thinks you're happy to go along with it..

When you asked him to delete the pictures did you make it VERY clear or did you say it half jokey?

Doogieboogie

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

To be fair to this fella.. you have never made it clear to him that his comments and attention is unwanted. He is being a pr1ck, but, by your own admission, you have always laughed along at the "banter".

I think before you go all formal and threatening legal cases etc., you have to at least give him the chance to stop. Say it to him, clearly, with no room for misunderstanding, that it makes you very uncomfortable and you want him to stop.

If he doesn't, or if he laughs it off THEN you could go higher. But at the moment he thinks you're happy to go along with it..

When you asked him to delete the pictures did you make it VERY clear or did you say it half jokey?

C'mon... you don't have to be a genius to know that taking pictures of someone's t*ts and then emailing them around the office is (a) highly inappropriate and unethical (at best) and (b)that the person in the pics is going to be upset. She asked him to delete them, not to email them to everyone.

Big Bag of Chips

Absolutely agreed! But I get the impression this fella isn't the most "appropriate" person in the world, and the OP has said she goes along with the banter with all the fellas. Maybe this is just his extension of what he perceives to be banter.

The important word in the definition is "unwanted". The OP hasn't made it clear enough that his attention is unwanted.

Although, the photo issue alone IS enough to go directly to a higher manager. But the "unwanted comments", he could argue and have witnesses, that she always went along with it.

But I do stress again, the emailed photo is a different issue.

EDIT: Didn't mean for the smiley to be inserted at the top...!

Overheal

Doogieboogie wrote: »

Copy and paste the above and email it back to him, along with your complaint in writing and screenshots of the email that went round. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you WILL take this further if the behaviour doesn't cease.

Funny because the body of text outlines How you should bring it up with an employer, and that isn't mentioned. In no uncertain terms I would just follow the outlined procedure and then take it to tribunal if your boss fails to take the correct action.

Glenbhoy

Hi OP,

if I were you I would ignore most of the advice being given on here, I know it's well intentioned, but you really need the advice of experts at this stage. The first thing to do is to contact the Equality tribunal and explain your situation to them and ask them how best to proceed.
If you were in a large company this matter would be straight forward, you'd talk to HR and the situation would most likely be resolved, you or the manager would move departments etc etc.
In your case to proceed with a case would most probably mean that your position would be untenable (you don't mention if your boss also owns the company, is that case?), whilst you'd win the case, it may be at the cost of your position and trying to get a new job would not be easy, whether it's justified or not, prospective employers will be influenced by the fact that you've taken an action against previous employers.
Imo the best result for you would involve explaining to your boss just how his actions are unsettling you and just how unprofessional they are, if he has any sense he would apologise profusely and cease them, whilst not bearing any grudge against you.
So, in summary, contact the equality tribunal and explain everything exactly to them, they will have plenty of experience of this type of behaviour in both small and large companies and should be able to guide you on the best course of action.

Good luck and I hope it all works out well for you.

LegacyUser

hi OP,
I work in an all male environment too, and I would consider that I have the craic and banter with the lads too, as in i hear all their sleezy jokes, get to watch 'hot' women on the music chanels at lunch, laugh over things alot of women might find disgusting as im so used to their carry on.. but they would never ever speak about me like that. or at least not to my face! If they ever said any personal comments about me like that I wouldnt be long telling them where to ram it! And I am also in a work environment where there is no HR department etc. My boss is even a bit sleezy, I have heard him commenting about young women in the papers etc and he is in his 50s and married but he again would never make a remark like those you have describes. Your manager must really not have a brain cell in his head if he thinks he can get away with this.
If i was you I think I would write an email so that there is evidence of an official complaint. Either that or if there is a sound man at work, friend of yours, who would sit in on the meeting as a witness. I would begin by stating that you enjoy the job and are very thankful for the opportunity to work there but that this one aspect of it is making you miserable and it cannot continue. I would say in no uncertain terms that it is demeaning and wholly inappropriate for someone in his position to behave in this manner. I would say that you expect it to stop from this moment foward, and that you also expect him to ensure that your collegues know that it is to stop. I would also inform him, again I feel this ought to be in writing, that if immediate action is not taken you will be pursuing a legal route.
good luck

Overheal

similarsituation wrote: »

hi OP,
I work in an all male environment too, and I would consider that I have the craic and banter with the lads too, as in i hear all their sleezy jokes, get to watch 'hot' women on the music chanels at lunch, laugh over things alot of women might find disgusting as im so used to their carry on.. but they would never ever speak about me like that. or at least not to my face! If they ever said any personal comments about me like that I wouldnt be long telling them where to ram it! And I am also in a work environment where there is no HR department etc. My boss is even a bit sleezy, I have heard him commenting about young women in the papers etc and he is in his 50s and married but he again would never make a remark like those you have describes. Your manager must really not have a brain cell in his head if he thinks he can get away with this.
If i was you I think I would write an email so that there is evidence of an official complaint. Either that or if there is a sound man at work, friend of yours, who would sit in on the meeting as a witness. I would begin by stating that you enjoy the job and are very thankful for the opportunity to work there but that this one aspect of it is making you miserable and it cannot continue. I would say in no uncertain terms that it is demeaning and wholly inappropriate for someone in his position to behave in this manner. I would say that you expect it to stop from this moment foward, and that you also expect him to ensure that your collegues know that it is to stop. I would also inform him, again I feel this ought to be in writing, that if immediate action is not taken you will be pursuing a legal route.
good luck

underlined the important bit.

dissed doc

In a pickle wrote: »

My boyfriend said I should sue them, but I feel bad. Reason is I was out of work for 7months and they took me in when I had nothing while the other lady that works part time was out sick. It was only supposed to be a temporary job but they have kept me on. I'd appreciate any outside advice.

Having an employment contract is different to being sexually harassed by an individual in a position of authority.

It sounds like sexual harassment.

Distorted

What is described is a very blatant form of harassment and indeed a breach of an employee's right to repsect and privacy too.

I am sure the manager knows perfectly well that it is wrong and actionable but is relying on the fact that he also knows that the OP is in a difficult position - she needs the job and is an inferior to him. Therefore I don't agree that bringing it up with the manager in question is worthwhile. Many employees in the position of the OP would be far too intimidated to do so and the form of the harassment is so blatant it makes this more likely.

I think the OP should contact a solicitor and in the meantime try to gather evidence, such as copies of the photographs being distributed.

Denerick

Sue, sue, sue, sue. With the compensation you won't need to worry about work for a while. Win win.

LegacyUser

Hey just to update everyone. Thank you so much for all your replies. They were all so helpful and I hope that I can help you some day. By the way I am a regular poster here but went unnamed for this particular problem.

As I normally get on very well with my manager and he doesn't intentionally do it as far as I know I decided to deal with it directly with him. If it was anyone else I know I would have gone further. Yes we had a laugh and when he said stuff before I'd just laugh it off. Just as I said I felt this over stepped the mark.

Samesituation...your post sounds exactly how it is in here! And it helped me and made me feel better. I called a solicitor yesterday and made an appointment but over night I had time to think. I emailed him and said that I don't mind a laugh and the jokes that I'm not a serious person but that him taking the photos of me and emailing them made me feel uncomfortable, that his comments about me also made me feel this way. Especially after me asking him to delete them. That I'd prefer that he didn't make comments about my boobs and ass.

I emailed firstly because he wasn't in work and secondly to just have a record of it. He apologised and said he didn't mean to cause me any discomfort and that he has deleted them and he hopes I accept his apology!

Suppose we'll see what happens now

dollydishmop

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

To be fair to this fella.. you have never made it clear to him that his comments and attention is unwanted. He is being a pr1ck, but, by your own admission, you have always laughed along at the "banter".

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I get the impression this fella isn't the most "appropriate" person in the world, and the OP has said she goes along with the banter with all the fellas. Maybe this is just his extension of what he perceives to be banter.

The important word in the definition is "unwanted". The OP hasn't made it clear enough that his attention is unwanted.

In this day and age she really shouldn't have to...especially as the perpetrator is management FFS :rolleyes:

little lady wrote: »

I use to work in a very male dominated company and yes we all had the banter but once it crossed the line I made a complaint and it stopped with no repercussions. Just because you enjoy a bit of banter with the lads doesn’t give any of them the right to make you feel uncomfortable or to sexually harass you.

+1

similarsituation wrote: »

hi OP,
I work in an all male environment too, and I would consider that I have the craic and banter with the lads too, as in i hear all their sleezy jokes, get to watch 'hot' women on the music chanels at lunch, laugh over things alot of women might find disgusting as im so used to their carry on.. but they would never ever speak about me like that.

+1 again.

I used to work on the docks, can't get much more of a 'male environment' than that....but none of the lads would have dared to treat me like that.
Yes we had banter and craic and I gave as good as I got, but they accepted me as one of them, and that was all that I asked. Not once did any of them ever make me feel uncomfortable to be the only woman working there.
And if anyone had tried, I know for sure the rest of the lads would have put him firmly in his place, (if I didn't get there first <blush>)!

Big Bag of Chips

dollydishmop wrote: »

In t

his day and age she really shouldn't have to...especially as the perpetrator is management FFS....

People are placing a lot of faith in this man having basic cop on. There is nothing in the OP's post that gives me that impression about him. Being a "manager" doesn't necessarily mean much either.

Of course she shouldn't have to spell it out to him.. but to me he comes across as a big thick who somehow thinks he's funny.. and is reinforced in his thinking (in his mind) by the OP going along with the "banter".

I never said he's right, I never claimed he was an intelligent man, all I know about him is what the OP says, and from that my impression of him is he's slightly above neanderthal. She has been going along with it, by her own admission up until this, but now "a line has been crossed". I think her best course of action firstly is to let him know that the line has been crossed, and that she'd prefer for him to stop all comments and remarks to her.

Then if he persists, take it further.

But my guess is, this man "hasn't the brains he was born with" as my mother would say!

Overheal

Fingers crossed for you OP. Check in if you ever have any follow-up concerns