Favourite Quotes from the Hitchhiker books

Queen-Mise

I came accross this earlier - and I keep forgetting the brilliance that is Douglas Adams - so I created a thread to share this nugget of wisdom with all of you :D:D

... imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, 'This is an interesting world I find myself in - an interesting hole I find myself in - fits me rather neatly, doesn't it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!' This is such a powerful idea that as the sun rises in the sky and the air heats up and as, gradually, the puddle gets smaller and smaller, it's still frantically hanging on to the notion that everything's going to be alright, because this world was meant to have him in it, was built to have him in it; so the moment he disappears catches him rather by surprise. Douglas Adams

Steve

I dream about this...

There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Pick a nice day, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] suggests, and try it.

Queen-Mise

People will then often say, "But surely it's better to remain an Agnostic just in case?" This, to me, suggests such a level of silliness and muddle that I usually edge out of the conversation rather than get sucked into it. (If it turns out that I've been wrong all along, and there is in fact a god, and if it further turned out that this kind of legalistic, cross-your-fingers-behind-your-back, Clintonian hair-splitting impressed him, then I would choose not to worship him anyway.)

- Douglas Adams in an interview with American Atheists

http://www.nichirenbuddhist.org/Religion/Atheists/DouglasAdams/Interview-American-Atheists.html

Sparks43

It is known that there is an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the product of a deranged imagination.

Best passage of the book imho

Queen-Mise

Queen-Mise

Another great one

As the sperm whale fell out of orbit through the Magrathean atmosphere toward the alien planet, its thought processes were described:

It is important to note that suddenly, and against all probability, a sperm whale had been called into existence, several miles above the surface of an alien planet. But since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity. This is what it thought as it fell: 'Ahhh! Whoa! What's happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by 'who am I'? Okay, okay, calm down, calm down, get a grip now. Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? It's a sort of a tingling in my... well, I suppose I better start finding names for things. Let's call it a... tail! Yeah! Tail! And hey, what's this roaring sound, whooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head? Wind! Is that a good name? It'll do. Yeah, this is really exciting! I'm dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There's an awful lot of that now, isn't it? And what's this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round', 'Ground'! That's it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me? Hello Ground!'

The sperm whale crashed into the ground, viewed from a distance with a rising plume of ice/snow.

Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell, was: 'Oh no, not again.' Many have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that, we should know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.

Fnordius

From the radio series, Fit the Seventh:

ZAPHOD: Turn the radio on! Look, if it it'll help you do what I tell you baby, imagine I've got a blaster ray in my hand.

CAPTAIN: (Startled) You have got a blaster ray in your hand.

ZAPHOD: So you shouldn't have to tax your imagination too hard. Turn it on.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - The Original Radio Scripts

Outkast_IRE

I have only read the first book so far but my favourite is
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't"

Sleepy

man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons.

genius

Brian CivilEng

It's a by-pass, you have to build bypasses.

I'm studying transport planning, and use that as my response to any tough questions.

AlbionCat

Cars (especially big ones) are forever known in our house as "bourgmobiles" after Zaphod or Ford describing the "creeps leaving the big bang restuarant to get in their bourgmobiles" and they are busy looking for something to steal as a quick getaway - cant remember the name of the ship they stole though but Marvin the Paranoid Android was on it.

Steve

That'd be Disaster Area's stuntship..

source

The ships hung in the sky, much in the way that bricks don't

My other favourite is in my signature.

SEEMagazine

Life! Don't talk to me about life!

CiDeRmAn

I find myself using the following in tons of situations, especially when someone is suggesting that everyone needs to be doing or getting something, without actually wanting or needing it...

"Share & Enjoy!"

Also, "I wonder if it will be friends with me" and "Oh no, not again".

Steve

I've decided to put a cool HH quote in my sig every month.. just to p*ss off Sherlock and his copyright law..

Toto Wolfcastle

Steve wrote: »

I've decided to put a cool HH quote in my sig every month.. just to p*ss off Sherlock and his copyright law..

I'm going to confuse people on Facebook by posting one a day.

Steve

I don't do that bookface thing but pm me a link so I can lol in abstentia... (they don't really let me out into teh real word much)..

Toto Wolfcastle

Steve wrote: »

I don't do that bookface thing but pm me a link so I can lol in abstentia... (they don't really let me out into teh real word much)..

I'm veeerrrry private on FB (because of my job) but I started with this:

man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons.

Sparks43

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

Jacksquat

About towels

"wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous)"


This makes me laugh everytime:D

Zaph

The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.

smcgiff

Excellent thread, now let me think... Um...

Zaph

This is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of.

Zaph

This planet has — or rather had — a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.

Steve

"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."

Zaph

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't

Steve

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President* should on no account be allowed to do the job."

* or commander of the internet...

Toto Wolfcastle

What the hell is this, some sort of H2G2 fanboi rumble?

Steve

Yup.

Now, stay on topic please..

KamiKazeKitten

Too many to pick from imo, but I always loved this:

Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe.
The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.
The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison

Oh and of course:

DON'T PANIC.

emigrate2012

He's temporarily dead,for tax reasons.

If the universe ever ended,it would be immediately replaced with something even more strange and inexplicable.

The man truly was an absurd genius,really who hasnt thought of introducing themselves as Wonko the Sane,just to se the look of utter confusion?

Kivaro

WooHoo, I just found this thread.

“Life is wasted on the living.”

“I'm so great even I get tongue-tied talking to myself.”

The waiter approached.
'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?'
'That’s cool,' said Zaphod. 'We'll meet the meat.”

jimgoose

Bowerick Wowbagger is my kind of peculiarly tall, green alien:

"You, Mr. President, are the most philosophunculistic, moronic, steatopygic excuse for a politician that it has ever been my good fortune to not vote for, and if I thought for one second that this crappy Universe deserved any better, then I would pay, out of my own pocket you understand, to have you assassinated."

MugMugs

My all time favourite

"we'll see who rusts first"

humbert

Sparks43 wrote: »

Best passage of the book imho

But an infinite number minus a finite number would be an infinite number.

emigrate2012

I may be wrong with this but....... 42,I think I get it.

Hesh's Umpire

Arthur: If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it?
Ford: We're safe.
Arthur: Oh good.
Ford: We're in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.
Arthur: Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of.”

CreepingDeath

Had to add these...

DouglasAdams wrote:

And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had
been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to
people for a change, one girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in
Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all
this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and
happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have
to get nailed to anything.
Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about
it, a terribly stupid catastrophe occurred, and the idea was lost forever.
This is not her story.

And from "So long, and thanks for all the fish" about Arthur and Fenchurch joining the mile high club on the wing of an airplane while themselves flying...

DouglasAdams wrote:

Mrs E. Kapelsen of Boston, Massachusetts was an elderly lady,
indeed, she felt her life was nearly at an end. She had seen a
lot of it, been puzzled by some, but, she was a little uneasy to
feel at this late stage, bored by too much. It had all been very
pleasant, but perhaps a little too explicable, a little too
routine.

With a sigh she flipped up the little plastic window shutter and
looked out over the wing.

At first she thought she ought to call the stewardess, but then
she thought no, damn it, definitely not, this was for her, and
her alone.

By the time her two inexplicable people finally slipped back off
the wing and tumbled into the slipstream she had cheered up an
awful lot.

She was mostly immensely relieved to think that virtually
everything that anybody had ever told her was wrong.

Chris Martin

Spent ages looking through books trying to find it after spotting thread earlier, just a witty line that had me smiling..

"'Bet you're surprised to see me again,' said the monster, which Arthur couldn't help thinking was a strange remark for it to make, seeing as he had never met the creature before. He could tell that he hadn't met the creature before from the simple fact that he was able to sleep at night."