bride and groom only wedding

bambam26

Hi Guys,

Has anyone on here done or know anyone that just went away on there own and came back married, like told no body just went and done it.

Cellygirl

A couple of my cousins did this. One went to Las Vegas, the other went to the registry office.

One you have two witnesses, over the age of 18, you're away!

In Ireland you need to give at least three months notice to the State that you're getting married. You must attend a meeting in person with the registrar. YOu must bring the names and dates of birth of your witnesses. You must bring your birth certificates and photo ID. And you must bring €150.

After that, once they give you the paperwork, you can go with your two witnesses and get married. No need for anyone else to be there.

(I'm not sure what the procedure is if you want to get married abroad though. The above jsut applies if you're having a wedding in Ireland)

Can I ask why you're considering this? If it's a case of money there are real deals to be had out there and you can do a wedding for a really tight budget, you really can. If it's family reasons then nothing I can say there, that's your own business!

If this is something you want to do, then go for it. You're no less married if you have two guests there or 200.

Best of luck with it!

07734

Heya,

Yes, we did that, eloped to Scotland.

It's the same as described above, except instead to meeting the registrar we chatted over the phone.

It's not for everyone, but it suited us.

Pm me if you've any specific questions!!

07734

seamus

Cellygirl wrote: »

I'm not sure what the procedure is if you want to get married abroad though.

You just get married according to their local rules and your marriage is legal in Ireland.

I know someone who went off and got married in Italy. They got two staff members from their hotel to be their witnesses, such was the level of secrecy

SBWife

My cousin did this Registry Office in London where his girlfriend was living at the time.

artyeva

we got married last november in vegas, just the two of us. we'd hired a photographer and she acted as our witness. you only need one witness in vegas. we got married in a wedding chapel and had a civil ceremony. classy and tasteful and intimate. you can PM me if you want any more info. it was what we we wanted to do - no fuss, no bullcrap, no politics. at the end of the day it's just another day. it's not the wedding that makes a marriage, it's the marriage

edit: just noticed the part of your post where you said ''and told no one''. well we only told my sister, and swore her to secrecy. she's a wedding florist and always planned on doing my flowers whenever i got married. i'm not really into flowers as it happens - bit too traditional for me - but myself and herself made a silk bouquet for me and a buttonhole for him that went over in my suitcase and i'm glad we did. she's my only sister and it kinda felt like she was there with me in spirit. [as sentimental and gooey and soft as that sounds!!]

we told some people when we were over there - the day after we had the ceremony we rang home and told the parents/siblings. and i updated my facebook the day after and that took care of everyone else!! we both hate what weddings so i don't think anyone was really *that* surprised.

Rew

I know a couple of people who headed off to Barbados and came back maried. Didnt tell anyone till after and even then just their parents.

Tilly32

Those you have you who have done this, ...how did family react? Happy for you or a bit miffed that you eloped?

Rew

The couple I mentioned parents were a bit pissed off but they got over it.

Cellygirl

I do know that one family member of one of the cousins who got married wasn't miffed, but did feel hurt that they went off without saying. She just kinda felt 'am I THAT bad that they didn't want me there. Am I THAT bad that they thought I'd ruin the day if I was there'.

Now the reason they went away wasn't about her specifically, they just didn't want the fuss and just wanted to go away. But she felt it quite badly that it was somehow a slight on her and that she would be the one causing all the 'fuss'.

But she recognised that they're adults and had to do things their way so she just got on with it.

Tilly32

Obviously I'm thinking about this myself.......part of me would like immediate family there, other part would love to just go & do it......I would love the no stress part of it.....no hassle....etc....but I would hate my family (especially my parents as we are very close) to be sad or disappointed. I think they would be honestly happy for me.....maybe it's me who thinks it would upset them!

Thought about Registry office in Dublin & just a meal afterwards.....other half wants to elope & have a booze up when we come home.......

Just don't know!! :eek:

deelite

If you were doing this in a registry office in Ireland just you and your partner - how would you get the "witnesses" - and what's the procedure do you drag them in off the streets, pay them etc., I'd love to do that either in Dublin or in Newry - less hassle.

Tilly32

I'm sure they could provide witnesses if you needed them??

yea, could do the registry thing just the 2 of you & then have a meal.....maybe....don't know.

Cellygirl

Just to say to you, organising a wedding doesn't HAVE to be stress or hassle.

Obviously you know your family best and maybe you know from the outset that there would be hassle. But if you're just worrying because youv'e heard how stressful a wedding can be - to reassure you, it can be done calmly!

We're having a big enough wedding, about 150 people, all immediate and extended family invited, big church ceremony, all our friends, work colleagues etc. The typical Irish white wedding. It's what we want, we saved for two years to pay for it all ourselves with no debt.

It has been 99 per cent hassle and stress free. We are adults. We picked and organised everythign ourselves with no interference from anybody. The internet is a great resource. We sourced suppliers, picked a date, booked a venue.

Bit by bit as things were booked we told family and friends how things were going. We said 'We've booked our cake, pretty lilac flowers on it, chocolate biscuit, it's yum, all paid for now' and presented it as a fait accompli. So we didn't ask for opinions you know? Like we didn't ask 'this cake or this cake' as that way madness lies!

If people offered opinions, and naturally they did, we nodded and smiled and said 'oh that sounds interesting' and did our own thing anyway. Sometimes the opinions were sound and helpful and we were grateful for the help.

We set the guest list and the budget right from the start. We went to both sets of parents and told them that they were welcome to invite some friends to the day, but our max budget was XX so they'd have to keep the list to about XX people. Again, we just presented it as 'this is how it is' and they very kindly got back to us with their list of guests, those people went on to the overall guest list and that was that.

We had hassle with two suppliers but they were sorted out within a week. Family hassle has been minimal, everyone has been very supportive.

Of course it's a big job, a bit party to arrange and I want it perfect, so I'm a bit up the walls now, hoping it'll be right. But that's with 29 days to go! In general I really loved the planning.

Of course, do whatever YOU want to do but just wanted to let you know organising a big wedding doesn't have to be a big huge drama.

Best of luck!

Tilly32

Thanks but there would be some potential "issues" on my other half's side....& I know that's what the problem is really........

We probably would spend the day worrying about them rather than enjoying it ourselves.....

This is how we've found ourselves talking about eloping....

Plus I'm a stress ball ...I would probably worry myself sick about the whole thing

deelite

Tilly32 wrote: »

Thanks but there would be some potential "issues" on my other half's side....& I know that's what the problem is really........

We probably would spend the day worrying about them rather than enjoying it ourselves.....

This is how we've found ourselves talking about eloping....


Plus I'm a stress ball ...I would probably worry myself sick about the whole thing

That's me all over - I would love to go to the local priest (not for religious reasons) and say can you "just marry us - without the fuss" - (I mean no dress, car, guests etc.,) I wonder could he do that

ElleEm

Tilly32 wrote: »

We probably would spend the day worrying about them rather than enjoying it ourselves.....

This shouldn't be what your wedding day is about. Is there any way that you could have a small ceremony to include your parents and his immediate family so that there would be minimal hassle?

I love the romantic element of eloping but could not do it without my parents and best friend, and his folks. I know that they would be truly disappointed to not be a part of our wedding day, but that's them.

I know one couple who eloped without telling anyone, and the bride's parents particularly took it badly. Then I know one couple that got married last month, after planning their wedding for over a year. They did it abroad, just the two of them, and their families were thrilled for them.

Tilly32

I think my parents would be a bit disappointed but in the next breath would be delighted for us - if that makes sense. We have sworn to organise something in next few months anyway so I'll talk to my OH & see what options we have.

rainbowtrout

deelite wrote: »

That's me all over - I would love to go to the local priest (not for religious reasons) and say can you "just marry us - without the fuss" - (I mean no dress, car, guests etc.,) I wonder could he do that

Why not? You'd still have to give the same notice to the registrar's office etc, but just because it's a marriage by a priest and in a church doesn't mean there has to be a fancy dress, car and 200 guests. Same rules apply, have two witnesses.

Not that I'm an expert, but I'm sure there are plenty of priests who would love to see a couple coming to them asking for a simple ceremony where the ceremony is the focus of the day and not all the distractions that go with it

deelite

rainbowtrout wrote: »

Why not? You'd still have to give the same notice to the registrar's office etc, but just because it's a marriage by a priest and in a church doesn't mean there has to be a fancy dress, car and 200 guests. Same rules apply, have two witnesses.

Not that I'm an expert, but I'm sure there are plenty of priests who would love to see a couple coming to them asking for a simple ceremony where the ceremony is the focus of the day and not all the distractions that go with it

In theory it's a great idea but I wonder if it would work - it should work shouldn't it.