He disgusts me

LegacyUser

Hi,

I am at my wits end here.
My brother has been stealing non-stop from this family.
He steals anything: Money, DVD's, an XBox, phones etc & sells them for drink money.

My parents & the rest of my family all seem to let him off, every single time.
He's just a scumbag, through & through.

Since he's left school, he's done absolutely nothing. He hasn't even tried to do anything with himself, he sleeps all day & drinks all night.

Anyway, today, I discovered, he's stolen over 100 DVD's from me & sold them.
Of course, my mother yelled at me to calm down while he walked into the kitchen, laughed & grabbed a beer.

He's taking this entire family for a ride & nobody will do anything.
I am going to completely lose it.

I need advice.

johnboysligo

call the gardai. lock up your things and keep them locked up. dont let your phone go out of your pocket when your not using it and anything that isnt nailed down nail it down.

If you own a laptop or desktop pc you can buy a security lock ( Kensington Security Slot )

The gardai will probably tell you that without proof they cant do anything but your brother is probably someone they know quiet well ( or at least know his type very well ) that will give you advice on how to protect yourself.

DO NOT get worked up about how little he cares, he isn't going to give two craps if your mad or not if he threatens you call the gardai, if he lays a finger on you call the gardai. Lock your things up get a key for your bedroom door ( if you live in the same house as him ) and keep it locked when your not in the room.

You might say to yourself "i wont call the gardai on my own brother" well he knows you wont he gets away with this kind of crap because he knows you and your parents wont stand up to him

letsbehonest

He may have a drink problem to be honest. You may feel need for him to contact the AA.
http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/opencontent/default.asp
Since you day he sleeps all day and drinks all night he seems very anti social and I feel he may have the symptoms of depression. He may need to contact the
http://www.samaritans.org/
Try and support him he clearly doesn't seem happy to me. Try and be there for him. What is worse a dead brother by suicide or a few stolen DVD's?

ManOfMystery

letsbehonest wrote: »

He may have a drink problem to be honest. You may feel need for him to contact the AA.
http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.ie/opencontent/default.asp
Since you day he sleeps all day and drinks all night he seems very anti social and I feel he may have the symptoms of depression. He may need to contact the
http://www.samaritans.org/
Try and support him he clearly doesn't seem happy to me. Try and be there for him. What is worse a dead brother by suicide or a few stolen DVD's?

Wow, some huge leaps made there. The OP hasn't written anything to indicate his brother is suffering from depression, sadness or any other kind of anxiety ................ and you're mentioning suicide?

Sometimes people drink too much because they like to. And they steal things because they're scumbags. Not because they're depressed, impoverish or had a crappy childhood.

OP - your brother is old enough to know better. He's taking you all for a ride. My first inclination would be to suggest ringing the Guards but I recognise that you may not want to divide your family by doing this. I think your best bet is to sit your family down at an agreed time (without your brother present) and try and get everyone singing from the same hymn sheet. You all need to recognise he has a problem and agree on how to deal with it.

letsbehonest

ManOfMystery wrote: »

Wow, some huge leaps made there. The OP hasn't written anything to indicate his brother is suffering from depression, sadness or any other kind of anxiety ................ and you're mentioning suicide?

Sometimes people drink too much because they like to. And they steal things because they're scumbags. Not because they're depressed, impoverish or had a crappy childhood.

OP - your brother is old enough to know better. He's taking you all for a ride. My first inclination would be to suggest ringing the Guards but I recognise that you may not want to divide your family by doing this. I think your best bet is to sit your family down at an agreed time (without your brother present) and try and get everyone singing from the same hymn sheet. You all need to recognise he has a problem and agree on how to deal with it.

Sorry I didn't mean to offend anyone. I mentioned the AA because he may be abusing alcohol. I also mentioned the samaritans because I feel he maybe suffering from depression because he has no motivation to do anything. He also has an usual sleeping pattern and he seems abusing alcohol!

Denerick

Well my first port of call wouldn't be the police. He is your brother after all... Even if he is verging on evil.

Battleflag

Have the same thing going on in my house but the brother is only 16, he robs the whole family but my mother still dotes over him so gets away with it.

The only thing I could think of was get a key to my room and lock it whenever I leave the house, it's sad that I have to do this but some day I will go in and the room will be empty.

Overheal

Denerick wrote: »

Well my first port of call wouldn't be the police. He is your brother after all... Even if he is verging on evil.

Its not though. The first port of call is the Family, who are enabling him, so thats a no go. If the family is enabling, family ties cease to be a restricting factor. Call the gards at this point imo.

Colonel_McCoy

Call the gards, is it possible to move out?

LegacyUser

Hi,

It's not possible to move out as I have no job.
Trust me, the guards have been called before, they didn't do anything cause there was no proof.

I tell my parents and the rest of the family, straight out, that he is taking them for a ride, but they don't listen & my mother still dotes on him like he's a baby (He's almost 22 btw).

I have a lock for my door but my sister is the one who constantly leaves the door open.

One of my friends, suggested that since he's done to to me, that I should steal his stuff and sell it, and I'm at a point where that seems that's the only thing I can do to get him to cop on...

Overheal

if you cant lock the room lock your belongings in a blanket chest or something.

Any word on why your parents choose to enable him?

aidan24326

Overheal wrote: »

if you cant lock the room lock your belongings in a blanket chest or something.

Any word on why your parents choose to enable him?

I imagine parents enabling a son or daughter like that is probably common enough.

You know the type, the mother who thinks the sun shines out of her son's arse and is blind to any failings or wrongdoing.

OP, if calling the guards has proved futile, and your parents are deluded, it's really hard to know what else you can do. I guess just keep your stuff locked up and safe as much as possible, then once you do get a job and afford to rent elsewhere get out of there, and let your foolish parents be welcome to the little bollix after that.

spinandscribble

I think selling his stuff is a good idea. No doubt he won't be laughing then and might give something to think about.

Overheal

spinandscribble wrote: »

I think selling his stuff is a good idea. No doubt he won't be laughing then and might give something to think about.

fire with fire, 2 wrongs and a right, etc.

not necessarily the best way to go, both from an ethical and a repercussion point of view. it seems like it would only escalate things in a bad way.

spinandscribble

Overheal wrote: »

fire with fire, 2 wrongs and a right, etc.

not necessarily the best way to go, both from an ethical and a repercussion point of view. it seems like it would only escalate things in a bad way.

I think it depends on the family and what the op thinks will happen. Realistically, the gardai are not going to get involved and the parents aren't going to do anything about it.
Ethically she might only recoup a small faction of what was taken from her and by the sounds of things he'd have taken anything else of value. (taking one prized possession and claiming you old it but really you've just hid it could be a option, just to see him deal with repercussions of his behaviour)

He sounds like a twat just looking for a reaction or someone who might have a gambling/frug problem, looking for cash. If its the first one playing fire with fire might make him think after he calms down, I wouldn't suggest it if it was the latter.