How do you deal with sticky situations?

ironictoaster

OK, I know there's personal issues forum for this type of stuff, but I'd rather hear from people from my own age bracket. Maybe I post this in PI later..

Anyways..

I just want to know how ye lovely people deal with sticky situations involving friends/family/boyfriends/girlfriends etc.

Something happened to me recently, I don't have a breeze how to deal with it because nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I just genuinely confused what to do, what to say and how to act in regards to my situation. Quite sad about it as well . I swear this is not a plot to some ****ty teen drama...I posted it on a get off it off your chest thread in the ladies lounge, so I'll just copy/paste it here.

Dear A,

When I first met you, I had the biggest crush on you ever since summer. We had an unreal amount in common, so much more than anyone I know. I knew I really liked you when I realised had to repeatively delete my inbox on my phone after the ridiculously long conversations we had and countless chats on facebook about the most random things. During our 1st year of college, I finally grew a pair and told you how I felt face to face. Unrequited love at its finest. I recently found you're in a relationship with a guy back from your home country, I was saddened and hurt, but I got over it eventually.

However, what you have done tonight has killed a small part of me as well my confidence on getting close to anyone again. I cannot sleep or eat hence why I am on the internet so late. A small part of me is thinking why him over me. it's like you knew what I was about to witness was going to **** with my head for a very long time. The fact it was one of my few friends doesn't help either

I hope that poor guy knows from your country know what he's getting himself into when he travels way half across the world to come over here next week after saving for months just for you.

The sickening thing is while I am angry and extremely hurt, I feel I cannot cut you loose from my life I cannot explain why, but I know I cannot. Maybe I still like you for some reason or feel we are too close to stop being friends, I have no idea.

I shall sleep now and I know I will wake to your ritual morning text message just to remind me about last night.

What to reply back, I'll never know.

C

newmug

Not sure I understand. Could you clarify what the problem is exactly?

ironictoaster

This person has basically screwed my head up after an incident last night. I don't how to respond to all of the above, but nothing like this has never happened to me before.

It's just really awkward (for me) I guess.

newmug

And the incident was................................

randylonghorn

I'm guessing...

IT likes foreign girl, finally plucked up courage to tell her.
Discovers girl has boyfriend at home.
IT swallows his disappointment, they stay friends.
To-night, girl "shifts" one of IT's friends.

ironictoaster

randylonghorn wrote: »

I'm guessing...

IT likes foreign girl, finally plucked up courage to tell her.
Discovers girl has boyfriend at home.
IT swallows his disappointment, they stay friends.
To-night, girl "shifts" one of IT's friends.

On the button my friend..

newmug

randylonghorn wrote: »

I'm guessing...

IT likes foreign girl, finally plucked up courage to tell her.
Discovers girl has boyfriend at home.
IT swallows his disappointment, they stay friends.
To-night, girl "shifts" one of IT's friends.

You should be a detective!

Sorry to hear about your troubles IT. But obviously the foreign girl just isn't into you. I wouldn't touch her anyway if:

A) she cheated on her boyfriend
she did so with one of your friends
C) she did it in front of you on purpose, to give you a message (maybe that wasn't her motive, I'm just speculating obviously)


Sum total - she's a cheater, and uses sly tactics AND her body instead of telling people things to their faces

ironictoaster

newmug wrote: »

You should be a detective!

Sorry to hear about your troubles IT. But obviously the foreign girl just isn't into you. I wouldn't touch her anyway if:

A) she cheated on her boyfriend
she did so with one of your friends
C) she did it in front of you on purpose, to give you a message (maybe that wasn't her motive, I'm just speculating obviously)


Sum total - she's a cheater, and uses sly tactics AND her body instead of telling people things to their faces

Thanks for the input, I might stop talking to her for a while.

Grindylow

Seems like if she had such little respect for you and her boyfriend so as to cheat on him, and get off with someone while you were there, that she's not worth being sad over. Anyone with such a disregard for other people is not a good person! Chin up, toaster.

kev_s88

sorry to hear that IT

this really is too common a problem, and people always look into it so much. but honestly in my opinion the best way to get by this is to just cut her loose, no matter how hard you think it may be. Because if you dont you'll never be able to move past this. It'll hurt for a while but it'll pass eventually and you'll be able to get on with your life

Chuchoter

OP you have probably made a lucky escape. She is either a liar or a cheat. Either way she's a bitch.

jumpguy

IronicToaster, that's harsh dude, but that's life, shít happens. It depends what you're looking for, if it's a long-term relationship, then keep the hell away from her, if it's a bit of craic, go 4 it. Although if she has a BF back home that wouldn't exactly be leaving yourself with clean hands. Either way, I think you're a relationship man anyway, seeing as you are fairly upset over it, in which case I'd just count my losses and bail out. A relationship with a girl like her would wreck your head. Sometimes you just really realise how little you can know about a person.

ironictoaster

Thanks to everyone who posted, I feel slightly better now as time passed. I am just going cut contact for a few days and see what happens after that. I am just trying not think about it for now. Going to get back on track with college work, completely dropped the ball on it semester 2 started...

She texted me this morning telling it was my friend who came over to her and she's was drunk, in fairness she was...but still. I can't remember tbh, everything happened so fast. I don't think it really makes a difference anyways.

If I ever become friends with her again, I will be a hell a lot more cautious with her and same with anyone new I meet in the future, keep my guard up for a longer period of time..

Lesson learnt.

sock puppet

In fairness to her, cheating aside she hasn't really done anything wrong. You don't know that she did it to hurt you or if she even considered that you'd be upset. Still unrequited love and all that's a bitch.

Wolfe Tone

I was in a similar position mate, just cut her out, or else you will be hoping and hoping and it will cut ya up when ya see her with other lads(whats wrong with me), might seem harsh but its the best way, it really fcuks with your head, similar thing messed me up a good bit.

ironictoaster

sock puppet wrote: »

In fairness to her, cheating aside she hasn't really done anything wrong. You don't know that she did it to hurt you or if she even considered that you'd be upset. Still unrequited love and all that's a bitch.

She says she didn't do it annoy me this morning, she was just drunk and my so called friend decided to take advantage of that. I only found a couple of hours before that she may have a bf back home, wasn't 100% sure at the time, but positive now therefore I thought I was in with a chance at the time. It sure is a bitch, twice in a row for me unfortunately.

sock puppet

ironictoaster wrote: »

She says she didn't do it annoy me this morning, she was just drunk and my so called friend decided to take advantage of that. I only found a couple of hours before that she may have a bf back home, wasn't 100% sure at the time, but positive now therefore I thought I was in with a chance at the time. It sure is a bitch, twice in a row for me unfortunately.

Well at least now you know where you stand. Probably small comfort now though.

grrrrrrrrrr

ironictoaster wrote: »

She says she didn't do it annoy me this morning, she was just drunk and my so called friend decided to take advantage of that. I only found a couple of hours before that she may have a bf back home, wasn't 100% sure at the time, but positive now therefore I thought I was in with a chance at the time. It sure is a bitch, twice in a row for me unfortunately.

Cut contact for a full week. It'll give both of ye time to think about it all. Rarely a good idea to text someone every single day. Sometimes you just need to have sometime to yourself.