Another baby?

Cottontail

I’ve been wondering whether to post about this for a while. My question basically is, how do you decide whether or not to have another baby? I’ve got a 14 month old son who I love to bits but is very demanding, as small people can be! Some days I think I’d love another one, then other days I’m not sure. Like Today. His sleep last night wasn’t great and was very cranky this morning, I have to admit I was glad to be going to work!! On mornings like that, I just couldn’t imagine having a baby in the house as well.

Looking after a small child is one thing, but looking after one while pregnant, or with another baby in the house must be difficult, I sometimes wonder how people cope with more than one, not to mention never having time to yourself.

At the same time, I don’t want to look back in a few years and regret not having had another baby. Sometimes I wish my son had been a twin, that way I wouldn’t have to think about this at all! My husband tells me it’s something we don’t need to worry about for another while, but its something that regularly nagging away at the back of my head – I suppose that’s the ‘ol biological clock for ya!!

Any advice?

CathyMoran

We found it very hard to have our son (just over 11 months) but we both wanted at least another child (time is not on our side (am 36) and we both have severe healh issues). We have just put our son into the creche and I am over 24 weeks pregant with his baby sister. It is not easy but you get the energy from somewhere and I have found that being a parent is the most rewarding thing in the world. It does need to be a joint decision with your partner though as they will be helping out a lot!

silja

This so much depends on you and your husband, your financial situation, how you healed from your birth etc...

For what it's worth, I got pregnant 15 months after having twins. It was a "planned surprise", in that we didn't use protection but also kind of thought we couldn't get pregnant (took us 3 years and 3 rounds of fertility treatment to get pregnant). I am lucky in that I had no major issues in pregnancy- no morning sickness etc. I think dealing with morning sickness or bed rest with a young toddler would be very difficult. Once baby was here, it was so much easier though, as we weren't first time parents anymore (and in our case, one was so much easier compared to twins, too!) , so less worry and stress. Also, the twins had just turned two 10 days before our younger daughter was born. They were young, but could understand the basics of what was happening and help in small ways- bring me diapers etc. I think having kids fairly close together is good because they can play together and you can do activities as a family more easily when they are older.

Cottontail

CathyMoran wrote: »

We found it very hard to have our son (just over 11 months) but we both wanted at least another child (time is not on our side (am 36) and we both have severe healh issues). We have just put our son into the creche and I am over 24 weeks pregant with his baby sister. It is not easy but you get the energy from somewhere and I have found that being a parent is the most rewarding thing in the world. It does need to be a joint decision with your partner though as they will be helping out a lot!

It certainly isn't easy! I knwo what you mean though, it is rewarding, tough though it is. Best of luck with the pregnancy, hope all goes well!

For what it's worth, I got pregnant 15 months after having twins
:eek:

Financially I think it would be OK. We are both working, we're not rich but we'd manage.

I am lucky in that I had no major issues in pregnancy- no morning sickness etc. I think dealing with morning sickness or bed rest with a young toddler would be very difficult.

I had terrible morning sickness for about 33 weeks... I was beginning to think I'd never feel normal again! I'd just be dreading the same thing would happen again, with a young toddler to look after.

This so much depends on you and your husband, your financial situation, how you healed from your birth etc...

After the birth I needed a cathether for a few days, and suffered bladder infections for about 2 weeks where I was in pain lying down, so I found it difficult to sleep even when baby slept. Also, he had colic for about 4 - 5 months so nights were I got 2 hours sleep were 'good' nights. I started to think I was beginning to lose my mind at one stage. I just wonder how would I cope in that situation, and still have a young toddler to look after?

Still, it is getting better all the time, and obviously now that he sleeps at night it makes it all the easier. I just want to make the right decision, it's just hard to know what that is...

Thanks again

crazy cat lady

Had i not miscarried in September, I would be due baby number 2 next month when Megan will be 15 months. I often think of how I might have coped and I honestly don't know if I would have! I know when the time is right we'll be ready for another, but at the minute we are happily knackered running around after the very busy little lady that we have

Moonbeam

I think the biggest issue is creche fees for 2 and the decisions that have to be made around that issue.

There is 24 months between my girls and it i a lovely gap,my "big girl" is well able to walk and talk which makes life easier.The worst thing for her is when I am feeding the baby that I can't do anything for her.
Doing the food shopping can also be an issue with the 2 of them!

I could cope with lots of children once they let me sleep I would have issues coping with one after a prolonged lack of sleep.

caprilicious

crazy cat lady wrote: »

Had i not miscarried in September, I would be due baby number 2 next month when Megan will be 15 months. I often think of how I might have coped and I honestly don't know if I would have! I know when the time is right we'll be ready for another, but at the minute we are happily knackered running around after the very busy little lady that we have

I was just thinking the same recently, as I would have been due no. 2 March 4th (day after my little girls 1st birthday) had I not miscarried. The timing in hindsight would have been terrible, as my mum in law whom I adored passed away suddenly a fortnight before this.

Sometimes things happen for a reason, op I think you'll know yourself when the time is right for no. 2.
If you're happy enough with things as they are, then enjoy your baby for a while longer before having no. 2.
I'd love to have no. 2 soon as the timing feels right (plus I'm an impatient fecker )

cbyrd

I'm on the other side of it . . . i'm due baby number 4 in september my youngest will be 20 months. The tiredness has been something shocking this time (i'm 37 now) and while i wasn't sick this time the nausea has been harder i think than the actual throwing up but you know you just get on with it. I think you can over think situations, i know that i look back at when my 2 older girls were small and i had to take them into work with me and i honestly don't know how i coped, but i did.
It's said you never get more than you can cope with, i'm wondering what it'll be like with 2 under 2 and more nappies and a small one and breastfeeding :eek: will i cope . . ? i have no idea but it's going to be fun finding out i'll find a routine and go with it.
No-one can really answer your question , but if you had to, would you cope? many have before and will again i guess.

flowerchild

Are you yearning for another babe? How close do you want your little ones to be? Or are you happy with one?

I'd dearly love another little bundle, but it's just not going to happen. So if you can, and it's right for you, then jump in and revel. Babies are really gorgeous.

Days

I say go for it! it's never going to be easy. And you don't know how long the road is going to be for you ie how long it will take and the risk of miscarraige.

Best of luck

Cottontail

well, decision made, i just recently found out that i'm pregnant! It was a bit of an unexpected surprise to be honest and i'm worried about how i'll cope with 2 small children, but I will - other people do! now I'm just waiting for the morning sickness to kick in!

caprilicious

Congratulations Cottontail! lovely news

Mrsbrady

Congrats Cottontail, that's great news!

my friends' due soon, twins that will join their "big" brother... just after his 1st birthday

Cottontail

Mrsbrady wrote: »

Congrats Cottontail, that's great news!

my friends' due soon, twins that will join their "big" brother... just after his 1st birthday

:eek::eek::eek:

Good luck to her! If she can manage, I definitely will!