my wife left - what a helpless feeling

fauxpas

Just found this boards and really didnt't ever think I will be posting my feellings here.

My wife has just left me few days ago, she took our daughter 4 years of age with her. She left before I woke up in the morning, didnt let the child say good bye to me.

We had our issues recently, we have moved the house just 4 months ago, and now I am left here, looking at cups in the kitchen and childs pink room. How empty feeling it is. My heart aked on the first morning I woke up after that. It actually still hurts inside. I stopped eating, I stopped washing, I stopped working.

She told she fell out of love, the money, my expectations, my time i spend with her... She went away to find her own space. I dont have family here, all are abroad in Australia. She went back to her aunt and organised a living space there.
She s been staying at home with a child for past years.

It feels so devastating.

Since she left I feel there is nothing left here in Ireland for me. I feel like dropping everything and catching next plane back home - to my eldery parents, people who will give me support.

I dont really know what to do. My life feels torn appart, they memory of my child having happy eyes while flying a kite outside a house is priceless. but gone.

In my family, nobody ever left their partner with a child. I cannot imaging visiting my child while there is another man there, another daddy. Life with kid in constant suspension - sorry you have to go now. How to explain it to this very child in a few years that mummy and daddy couldnt be together, and destroy little feelings with cruel reality. Why daddy and mummy couldnt be with me, is my fault?
How will wife manage to answer all those answer?

We have been going through bad patches few times, but I never even thought of leaving her...

Thank you for listening....

IrishEyes19

why would you suddenly up and leave the country though? If you love your child, surely the issue of joint custody will come into play here. Your wife may have ended your relationship, but she cant ban you from seeing your child unless she has a good reason and a court sees that. you can very much be part of that childs life if you try. also if the marriage has ended, it has ended, it doesnt mean your life has, you havent said how young you are, but it doesnt mean the end of future relationships or fun times. if you go on a road of destruction here by not caring for yourself and going downwards, the only thing you'll damage is your self esteem and the possibility of joint custody for your little girl. its a tough road but if you try you will emerge well on the other side.

spinandscribble

fauxpas wrote: »

It feels so devastating.

Since she left I feel there is nothing left here in Ireland for me. I feel like dropping everything and catching next plane back home - to my eldery parents, people who will give me support.

y ever left their partner with a child. I cannot imaging visiting my child while there is another man there, another daddy. Life with kid in constant suspension - sorry you have to go now. How to explain it to this very child in a few years that mummy and daddy couldnt be together, and destroy little feelings with cruel reality. Why daddy and mummy couldnt be with me, is my fault?
How will wife manage to answer all those answer?

We have been going through bad patches few times, but I never even thought of leaving her...

Thank you for listening....

Your daughter will cope with having parents that don't live under the same roof as long as you're civil and don't play war with her. Kids cope quite well once their best interests are put into place. (refusing to go over because your ex might have a new fella is putting yourself first not her btw)

Leaving your daughter to head back the other side of the world would be a different story.

I'm sorry but whether the ex will have a bf or not in time, if you go back to the other side of the world and years later use that as an excuse for not staying, please realise your daughter will know with complete certainty SHE was not, is not, your priority.

LegacyUser

Pull yourself together man! You can't go on like this, with all this self pity. You have a child now so don't think about leaving the country, thats not fair on her. You have to be strong for her and your life in order. It will get better with time so for the moment just start getting your life back in order.