Moving out?

hare05

I've been thinking about this for a while...

I'll be seeing a doc soon about transitioning and I wonder if I would be better off moving out of the parents at this time... Carlow is a pretty small place when news goes around and I wouldn't want every gay basher in town tossing rocks at 'the trannys' house, and I don't think id be comfortable transitioning in a house with an open door policy and multiple foreign students every year...

Problem is all my friends are here. I go to college here. Got fairly crap points in the leaving and I might not get a place in another college in Dublin or Cork or Brighton if I go there. But at the same time, I'd have the freedom to be me from the start, no masks...

Anyone else here move out pre-transitioning / coming out? Really need some advice on this...

wonderfulname

Well your first move is to see if its viable, there will most certainly be UK universities willing to take you regardless of points, they will be more interested in how you are doing in college, as our education systems differ you may however have to repeat your current year. Also advanced entry applications in the UK are still handled through UCAS, for which you have missed this years deadline (assuming these plans were for the coming college year).
If you are looking to transfer within Ireland you need to find out the requirements of the colleges you wish to apply to. Off the bat I can tell you that for TCD those requirements are to meet the criteria of the upcoming class, i.e. have passed your year and gained the CAO points for that course in the year they applied, however for DCU/UCD the only requirement is to have passed the modules for your year, i.e. transferring there is the same as going into that year in your own college, I couldn't tell you for anywhere else, I believe all the national universities are the same though, also ITs although I can't back that up right now. Also you must be transferring into 2nd/3rdyear. At any rate ensuring you do well in college now is a priority, your leaving cert doesn't matter all that much anymore.

I might be taking a bit too much of a practice view on this but I do believe you should always allow yourself as many options as possible. If you want a fresh start go get it, you're at an age where you can (assuming you aren't a mature student here) and nothing mad can come of it, you'll still have a home to run back to - the safety net is still there so to speak. You'll make friends wherever you go, don't worry about that, and the ones you have at home will still be there when you get back.
I moved for college this year and I'm pretty sure I will never go home again as anything more than a guest. It wasn't planned but now that I'm here I think I'm staying, and yes the ability to express myself wholly without worrying what small town gossip has their eyes on me is a part of that. If you want to do it, get working on it, even if you just think you might want to do it start sorting out a plan now, as I said you have already missed the deadline for the UK, so be sure to keep the option of the rest of this country open for as long as possible. You can change your mind and stay where you are whenever you please, its not quite so easy the other way around.

Sorry for the essay... The completely emotionally void essay... oops.

deirdre_dub

wonderfulname wrote: »

Sorry for the essay... The completely emotionally void essay... oops.

Those are sometimes the best.

I've recently had a lesson, namely that, amongst other things, transition is a project. It requires plenty of sitting down with pen and paper, going through options, creating options, cultivating allies, adding numbers, doing budgets, and deciding on actions. You are simultaneously the client and the project manager, and that mish-mash can cause problems. Recently my project manager let me down and, as the client, I got upset - so upset I couldn't see that, actually, I am also the project manager and I needed to get up off my shiny butt and take action!