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What to do about the girl?

  • 26-02-2011 1:14pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So for the past year or so I've been using online dating, most of which wasn't anything serious as I didn't feel like I was ready to be with someone, after a pretty gruesome breakup previously.

    About a month or more ago, I got chatting to this girl - we got on quite well and discovered we had a lot in common. This led to text and talking on instant messengers and eventually, last week, we organized a date. The date went absolutely amazing - we had a bomb, chatted and laughed a lot and it ended up with her staying the night at mine, which was great.. very good actually. Afterwards we cuddled all night, which is something I have not done in a long time.

    There's a few issues though that is niggling at me and somewhat staying on my mind --

    She's younger than me, by a lot more than I am used to; she's 20 and I'm 25 (turning 26 this year). 5 years is the largest gap I've had so far. I know this shouldn't be a big deal and I'm making much ado about nothing but.. it's still there.

    I'm in my 4th and final year of college and for the past year have my mind set on leaving Galway and moving to either Dublin or London, to pursue a career and move on in my life. She's in her 2nd year. Is it fair for me to get involved with someone knowing I'll be leaving within the next few months - possibly after the summer?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    5-6 years is nothing! Your both in the same age group if not exactly the same age.

    Its just the beginning, you dont even know where your going to when you finish college yet, play it by ear, see what happens and enjoy it for what it is at the moment.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    (God, some of those captchas are terrible and unbelievably hard to read)

    So I decided to go with what I've been told and just go along with the flow. We have been getting on amazingly well. However I think she might find some bits difficult, as I'm a very emotive guy who finds it extremely difficult to hide my feelings and her ex was basically someone who never did apparently. I asked her if she minded and if I should tone it down and she said that she likes it, but I might just tone it down just in case as I've found myself liking her a lot more.

    I would like to see us with a future together, but I'm unsure as to whether or not I should ask her. She broke up with her ex about 2-3 months ago and, when we first started talking, she was looking forward to being single.

    Though I know that she does like me and is smitten for me, as she has said, so perhaps I'm wondering if I should just let it all happen naturally and not ask.


  • #4
    Azureus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,130 ✭✭✭Azureus


    From what you say and her age, I would say just go with the flow and see what happens. It sounds like your tempted to rush things-smitten as you both may be I really think its best to let things just run their course or you run the risk of either burning out or coming on too strong. The last thing you want is for her to feel rushed into a relationship by you asking her, if it happens naturally then there will be no i-needed-to-be-single issues.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Azureus wrote: »
    From what you say and her age, I would say just go with the flow and see what happens. It sounds like your tempted to rush things-smitten as you both may be I really think its best to let things just run their course or you run the risk of either burning out or coming on too strong. The last thing you want is for her to feel rushed into a relationship by you asking her, if it happens naturally then there will be no i-needed-to-be-single issues.

    One of my biggest worries is whether or not I'm coming on too strong. It's just the person I am - overly emotive and if I want something, I go for it. Thankfully she doesn't seem to mind so far, but I am going to cool it down just to be on the safe side. Don't want to mess this up because I was being stupid.


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