Bed etiquette

Jimmy Garlic

I need a ladies opinion on this. I like a heavier duvet on the bed and a bit of the window open but my wife likes to turn up the heating a little close the window and use a summer duvet. Should I accept this or try to find a middle ground?. Often times when I wake up my wife is on my pillow and has hogged 2/3 of the bed, is it acceptable to roll her over on to her side when she is asleep to reclaim my half?. Suggestions

rainbow kirby

Moved to AH, this isn't a tLL thread.

brummytom

Well it's either divorce her or kill her.

Gummy Panda

Snuggle her like spoons and she won't need the heating up higher

Nadser

Separate rooms??

(I'm with you on the heavy duvet and window open btw)

orourkeda

Give her a good roasting.

A happy medium if ever there was one.

tony1kenobi

She is clearly cheating on you.Mug.

fonecrusher1

Call the gardai, ask specifically for Robocop. He'll know what to do.

Profiler

You need to either get a new duvet or a new wife.

A new Duvet will give you less back chat.

Hogzy

Get Bunk beds.















This will probably have no effect on the problem but will make life fun again

Daegerty

You know you can buy electric blankets with two separate controls now, right? Maybe worth looking into although they say it's bad for your health to leave it on allnight

Chris P. Bacon

Jimmy is on fire tonight,maybe give up the garlic?

Irish_Elect_Eng

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

I need a ladies opinion on this. I like a heavier duvet on the bed and a bit of the window open but my wife likes to turn up the heating a little close the window and use a summer duvet. Should I accept this or try to find a middle ground?. Often times when I wake up my wife is on my pillow and has hogged 2/3 of the bed, is it acceptable to roll her over on to her side when she is asleep to reclaim my half?. Suggestions

Your approach is the healthy one, the environmentally friendly one, But....

You do risk the missus taking the very sensible pj + wooly socks +hot-water bottle route, which can be a wee bit of a downer:(

If her approach includes wearing that sexy little silk number that you bough for her ore perhaps nothing at all then it's time to listen to your better half

Metallitroll

hear nothing / wear nothing / say nothing.

thats no-thing. nada. zilch. squat

Jimmy Garlic

Another thing that pisses me of is on the nights she goes to bed early by the time I get to bed she has the whole thing taken over, literally she would be lieing at a 45 degree angle, i have to drag her over to her own side. Tonight she is pumping up an a double and single airbed down in the living room and wants 5 of us to sleep down there. I think I will slip upstairs when she goes to sleep and have the bed to myself for a change.

Metallitroll

if she encroaches further just give her a hook to the head

Abi

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Snuggle her like spoons and she won't need the heating up higher

I got a little damp in my knicks when you said that.

lecker Hendl

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Call the gardai, ask specifically for Robocop. He'll know what to do.

I've always found Robert O'Cop to be very helpful. Like a knight in shining armour.

He could be a knight in white satin depending on the sheets the OP uses.

Hogzy

Abi wrote: »

I got a little damp in my knicks when you said that.

YUCK!!!!

Tayla

You must have missed this duvet that these two geniuses* invented

*I use this term loosely

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1347233/End-duvet-wars-Husband-wife-invent-cover-allows-different-thicknesses-side.html

seafood dunleavy

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

Another thing that pisses me of is on the nights she goes to bed early by the time I get to bed she has the whole thing taken over, literally she would be lieing at a 45 degree angle, i have to drag her over to her own side. Tonight she is pumping up an a double and single airbed down in the living room and wants 5 of us to sleep down there. I think I will slip upstairs when she goes to sleep and have the bed to myself for a change.

Are you having a gang bang or something?

t0mm13b

fonecrusher1 wrote: »

Call the gardai, ask specifically for Robocop. CHUCK NORRIS. He'll know what to do.

FTFY.

Abi wrote: »

I got a little damp in my knicks when you said that.

Ta for sharing.... eeeewwwww..... (little or much?) :P

That sounds like a damp squib there Abi :pac:

Abi

t0mm13b wrote: »

(little or much?) :P

That sounds like a damp squib there Abi :pac:

Who the fúck can spoon without getting horny? >_>

t0mm13b

Abi wrote: »

Who the fúck can spoon without getting horny? >_>

Unless HE is impotent.... :P

lecker Hendl

Abi wrote: »

Who the fúck can spoon without getting horny? >_>

people stuck on Mt Everest dying of hypothermia. Not the most arousing of situations to be fair.

alandublin15

ah jim jim jim
you simply havent realised that the good lord bestowed the gift of the power fart upon all men.
the scent of garlic should send her back to her side of the border. aswell as force her to open a window and switch off the heat.



and flap the duvet

t0mm13b

alandublin15 wrote: »

ah jim jim jim
you simply havent realised that the good lord bestowed the gift of the power fart upon all men.
the scent of garlic should send her back to her side of the border. aswell as force her to open a window and switch off the heat.


and flap the duvet

Ahhh now, that's called FIB (Farting In Bed) ftl....:pac:

Cybertron85

She's just being difficult, what sense does it make to use a lighter duvet and turn up the heating?!

Tell her breathing in stale air causes ovarian cancer or something, be creative.

Abi

t0mm13b wrote: »

Unless HE is impotent.... :P

lecker Hendl wrote: »

people stuck on Mt Everest dying of hypothermia. Not the most arousing of situations to be fair.

You two are ruining this for me

alandublin15

t0mm13b wrote: »

Ahhh now, that's called FIB (Farting In Bed) ftl....:pac:

ill see your f.i.b
and raise you ...un pet de reveil, preparez vous.:eek:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9fZpqye8Pc

lecker Hendl

Abi wrote: »

You two are ruining this for me

Sorry, sorry, it is very arousing for you I can imagine. As he lies against you with his large member caressing your buttocks and arms around you.


SPLURT!

t0mm13b

Abi wrote: »

You two are ruining this for me

mea culpa...

karlog

Your way is good OP you cant have her running up an unnecessary heating bill.

Abi

lecker Hendl wrote: »

Sorry, sorry, it is very arousing for you I can imagine. As he lies against you with his large member caressing your buttocks and arms around you.
SPLURT!

By arousing you mean horny, by member you mean cock, by buttocks you mean arse, but spurt you mean cum.... right?

Then yes, it is rather pleasant.







/carries on embroidering

t0mm13b

Abi wrote: »

By arousing you mean horny, by member you mean cock, by buttocks you mean arse, but spurt you mean cum.... right?

Then yes, it is rather pleasant.







/carries on embroidering

:eek:


Hang on... if you're in bed in spoon position, and you're embroidering... :P aint ya supposed to be asleep?

HoneyRyder

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

Tonight she is pumping up an a double and single airbed down in the living room and wants 5 of us to sleep down there.

Jesus she sounds RAMPANT! :eek: Ya better step up to the plate pronto Jimmy cos this woman is one step away from acquiring a scratch on her arse!

bronte

Personally, I'd blast her with piss.

Jimmy Garlic

HoneyRyder wrote: »

Jesus she sounds RAMPANT! :eek: Ya better step up to the plate pronto Jimmy cos this woman is one step away from acquiring a scratch on her arse!

Me, her and three children.. We have what may be a rodent problem and she won't sleep upstairs until I do something about it, she is convinced they could eat through the ceiling. I tried to buy some time by telling her it was wonky pipes, she didn't buy that.

t0mm13b

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Why didn't ya say it in the first place... made us all look like eejits.... :P

:pac:

pipes expand/contract and creaks under weight which would give the illusion that there's "a phantom" about...

Stu

My bed etiquette is quiet straightforward but keeps her happy. I try not to fart too much while shes trying to get to sleep. I brush my teeth in the morning if sex is on the menu that night. I don't put my empty monster munch crisp packets under the bed anymore, they go in the bedside side drawer now, out of sight, out of mind and i don't wake her up in the middle of the night anymore asking her if she can smell smoke, she used to hate it when i did that. It's the little things that matter.

Metallitroll

my bed etiquette is a fapathon where i push my body to the limits

HUNK

Hogzy wrote: »

Get Bunk beds.















This will probably have no effect on the problem but will make life fun again

Bunk beds are awesome!

t0mm13b

HUNK wrote: »

Bunk beds are awesome!

Gives a whole new meaning to banging heads... :P :pac:

Stu

Spot on, if you get bunkbeds there will be more room for activities. (Stepbrothers - Best Comedy ever made by a country mile).

FlutterinBantam

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

I need a ladies opinion on this. I like a heavier duvet on the bed and a bit of the window open but my wife likes to turn up the heating a little close the window and use a summer duvet. Should I accept this or try to find a middle ground?. Often times when I wake up my wife is on my pillow and has hogged 2/3 of the bed, is it acceptable to roll her over on to her side when she is asleep to reclaim my half?. Suggestions

Slap a length of well swollen bell-end up her nipsy every time that happens

Win Win..

Mike 1972

There are split duvets (not sure if thats the correct term) on the market but no idea how well they work.

Capt'n Midnight

why can't she wear PJ's , socks and a night cap ?

mfceiling

Kick her in the face...

Gummy Panda

Abi wrote: »

I got a little damp in my knicks when you said that.

:eek:

*snuggles Abi*

Cybertron85

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Slap a length of well swollen bell-end up her nipsy every time that happens

Win Win..

And some say chivalry's dead

landsleaving

Jimmy Garlic wrote: »

Me, her and three children.. We have what may be a rodent problem and she won't sleep upstairs until I do something about it, she is convinced they could eat through the ceiling. I tried to buy some time by telling her it was wonky pipes, she didn't buy that.

Allow me to solve all your problems.

Tell her that leaving the window closed and turning up the heat is causing the rapid expansion of pipes due to heat, and that condensation caused by that heat is likely damaging the ceiling slightly, causing it to gently shift, hence the noise.

Therefore she should sleep with a thick duvet and the window open to allow for optimal temperature range.

Tell her she can trust me, I'm a scientician.