What do I do NOW?????!!!!

LegacyUser

I have a big crush on a guy but He's not single though which makes it difficult for me to approach him. I heard that the best thing to do in this kind of situation is that i have to be his friend, his best friend if i can, and never show him that im attracted to him, and with patience things will go in my favour. so that's what i did, i managed to become his only best friend, i made him confortable around me, i callled him brother a couple of times and i talk to him about guys i like... just to make sure he doesnt doubt about the fact that i may like him.

Now we re realllyyy close. he tells ms things his girlfriend doesnt know. he complimented me a couple of times, not in a friendly way lol. right now he got some trouble wih his girlfriend, she doesnt treat him well and he's pissed. Normally this is the moment when i should make my first move, but obviously i cant just jump and say i got a crush on him. i though maybe if we go somewhere calm and quiet maybe i can try to kiss him or something. But there's a problem.

She is his only first girlfriend he ever has, and as he tells me everything about his relationship, he told me that he doesnt feel confortable when he takes her somewhere empty and quiet where they can be alone and do intimate stuff, he said it doesnt feel right, and when he tried he hated himself. he's not used to that.

It was weird for me to hear a guy saying that! but that's the way he is and i cant do anything against it. He respects girls a Lot! too muuch!!
so im afraid he rejects me when i try to make my move. I dont want to confess my feelings for him, i feel like showing it! but how?????

Do you guys have any ideas??? PLease Heelp!!

Oryx

Leave him alone, romance wise. He has a girlfriend, and regardless of how great or terrible that relationship is, he is out of bounds.

LegacyUser

Step away from this situation now! You are playing with fire!

If he decides to leave his girlfriend that is his business. Do not go near him until he has dealt with that by himself and gotten over it by himself. This could all blow up in your face very quickly and messily if you dont take a step back.

Fittle

How can I put this nicely? It's women who do what you've done OP, who give all of us a bad name:mad:

Leave him alone.

He has a girlfriend.

And if he decides to cheat with you...you deserve each other.

daithimac

I disagree with the other replys.

He is telling you all the flaws in his relationship. sounds like he is flirting with you too. also if someone says sex with their girlfriend feels wrong I would not expect her to be his girlfriend for too long.

I don't think you should hang around though. ask him outright if he would date you if he was single.

His answer should let you know what he is thinking.

WhatWillBee

Being intimate with his girlfriend feels wrong? He respects girls a lot, too much (as in too much to try to be intimate with them?)

Are you sure he's not gay?

WhatWillBee

daithimac wrote: »

He is telling you all the flaws in his relationship. sounds like he is flirting with you too.

Flirting? On what planet does that sound like flirting? sounds like he is confiding in a 'friend' about his relationship and not much else.

Stop pretending to be his friend for your own agenda, if he wanted to be with you he would. I hope I never have a 'friend' like you.

Motley Crue

Aanonymouss wrote: »

Do you guys have any ideas??? PLease Heelp!!

Leave him alone, don't be a bitch, stop bothering the poor guy

And whoever gave you that advice about being his friend and winning him over is an idiot

daithimac

Aanonymouss wrote: »

Now we re realllyyy close. he tells ms things his girlfriend doesnt know. he complimented me a couple of times, not in a friendly way lol

Am I misreading that.

Also I presume your heard the phrase "all's fair in love and war"

Fact is from op's post it would seem that this lad is unhappy in his relationship.

if that is the case then it is best for all partys concerned to move on to something new. ever day this guy spends with his girlfriend is a day wasted where she could have met someone actually suitable for her who will be a better boyfriend to her that he is.

also if the op and the guy are a better couple then they should go for it. you might tut but their happness is none of you business.

WhatWillBee

daithimac wrote: »

Am I misreading that.

Also I presume your heard the phrase "all's fair in love and war"

Fact is from op's post it would seem that this lad is unhappy in his relationship.

if that is the case then it is best for all partys concerned to move on to something new. ever day this guy spends with his girlfriend is a day wasted where she could have met someone actually suitable for her who will be a better boyfriend to her that he is.

also if the op and the guy are a better couple then they should go for it. you might tut but their happness is none of you business.

Only you and the OP have decided that they shouldn't be together and fact is, currently the guy IS in a relationship with this girl and its not mine, yours or the OPs business to decide if thats best for them.

Even if this guy and they OP would be better suited together, he is IN A RELATIONSHIP and she should respect that as long as thats his choice. She should back off and if hes so unhappy with his current gf he will break up with her and then the OP can 'make her move'.


P.S The op is asking advice in a public forum, so saying its not 'my business' is kinda silly.

daithimac

I told her to ask him if he is interested.

Thats the best option available to all. <b>IF</b> he is going to break up the the girlfriend the he should do it quicker rather that waiting around wasting her time.

OP sound him out and if its mean't to be it will be

LegacyUser

You freaked me out guys! I didnt know that was a bad idea, I mean that Bad!!! Some friends convinced me that was the right thing to do, and I had this friend of mine who's wasn't single and she met a guy who really was into her but he didnt tell her, and he did the same thing i did and now they're MARRIED!!!! That is why i thought that was the thing to do...

I dont know what to think right now. Maybe i could have a shot, maybe I'll end up with a nasty reputation. I dont want to be a bitch so i guess I'll try to stop but the problem is we're really close now, he wont understand what is wrong if i back off... What is left to do then?

booboo88

WhatWillBee wrote: »

Being intimate with his girlfriend feels wrong? He respects girls a lot, too much (as in too much to try to be intimate with them?)

Are you sure he's not gay?

I was thinking same,


OP you seem a bit obsessive, its actually frightening how much planning you've put in

greengiant09

Fittle wrote: »

How can I put this nicely? It's women who do what you've done OP, who give all of us a bad name:mad:

Leave him alone.

He has a girlfriend.

And if he decides to cheat with you...you deserve each other.

couldn't agree with the above most more......what you're doing is sly, devious and underhanded. i nearly thought your post was a troll i found it that hard to believe.....

Ickle Magoo

greengiant09 - please read this - and sticking in "nearly" does not equal a disclaimer.

greengiant09

daithimac wrote: »

Am I misreading that.

Also I presume your heard the phrase "all's fair in love and war"

Fact is from op's post it would seem that this lad is unhappy in his relationship.

if that is the case then it is best for all partys concerned to move on to something new. ever day this guy spends with his girlfriend is a day wasted where she could have met someone actually suitable for her who will be a better boyfriend to her that he is.

also if the op and the guy are a better couple then they should go for it. you might tut but their happness is none of you business.

rediculous advice quoted above. that phrase is just a phrase....it's not to be taken literally.....you can't just go around acting like a dick and expect that to be A-okay. it is also a pretty big jump to assume that this guys relationship is over with his current girlfriend.....all couples have their up's and down's

daithimac

the phrase is a phrase for a reason and can very well be taken literally as it has been in existance for near 500 years.

OP you can see from the post here that people won't think much of you if you go out all guns blasing but fact is that you are into him and you seem to think that he is into you.

Don't go around pretending you want to be just friends when you don't. Ask him if he is into you and if he is go for it. If he is not then you won't be wondering any more and will move on.

WhatWillBee

daithimac wrote: »

the phrase is a phrase for a reason and can very well be taken literally as it has been in existance for near 500 years.

OP you can see from the post here that people won't think much of you if you go out all guns blasing but fact is that you are into him and you seem to think that he is into you.

Don't go around pretending you want to be just friends when you don't. Ask him if he is into you and if he is go for it. If he is not then you won't be wondering any more and will move on.

I actually agree with your advice about telling him. Especially if its the only reason she is friends with him, if he feels the same then great, if not then neither of you will have lost anything and you can move on and find a guy whos single, it makes it much easier!

P.S. alls fair in love and war is usually a phrase used to justify cheating and is usually spouted by people who've had their fair share of black eyes and we can all find phrases that have been around a long time to justify any situation, doesn't mean anything.

Oh wow. I hope my boyfriend doesn't have any friends like you.

Please don't do it OP. I know some girls who would do this sort of thing, but they usually admit they know it's not right. I've never come across someone who didn't even realise that eyeing up someone's boyfriend and becoming friends with him to try to get with him was morally controversial.

Also, it does kind of sound like the whole things not being right with his girlfriend is either him leading you on, or him trying to come out to you as gay.

Maybe you could try to look at this from the girlfriend's perspective?

all4nothingxx

Fittle wrote: »

How can I put this nicely? It's women who do what you've done OP, who give all of us a bad name:mad:

Leave him alone.

He has a girlfriend.

And if he decides to cheat with you...you deserve each other.

Couldnt agree more also.. He has a girlfriend.... if he wanted to cheat he already would have with you, which clearly he hasnt. Yea he paid you a few compliments that doesn't mean he wants you OP. You are certainly playing with fire here. How would you feel if you were his girlfriend?? Stay miles away from this.

LegacyUser

Why Why WHY do some people have to go for people who are already in a relationship?!:mad: There are so many single people out there,so why try to break up another couple?
So you really really like someone, and can't help it, and you think he/she isn't happy in their relationship.blaah blaah blaah Big Deal!
If he's that unhappy it is up to him to decide what to do, and either way you back the fcuk off until the person is single. It's not rocket science.
You don't go around planning to make a move and kissing someone who you know has a girlfriend/boyfriend.
It is just pure selfishness.
Also this whole pretending to be just a friend, for the sole purpose of getting closer to him in the hope he leaves his girlfriend, is just so sneaky and underhand.
Have some more self respect OP. Do you want this guy to choose to be with you of his own accord, or do you want him to choose you because you are manipulating his feelings towards you, by being there pretending to be something you're not.. ie his 'best friend' who's always there to listen, when all the time you have an ulterior motive.