Head all over the place...

LegacyUser

Ok heres my situation...

With my girlfriend 5.5 years. Moved from home over to Birmingham nearly 2 years ago and have lived together since then. Shes 25 and I'm 26. Shes finishing a college degree in July.
Thing is I've wanted out of the relationship with nearly 6 months but have stayed with my gf as I know that it will have a terrible affect on her studies.

The girl...
A few weeks ago when out with the lads I met someone... nothing happened no numbers exchanged not even a kiss, she was single I told her my story etc. Thing is I cant stop thinking about her since, if someone told me a month ago that they fell in love at first sight I would have laughed in their face. I obviously want to see this person again but I will not cheat on my gf. We have a mutual friend so she told me that if I wanted to meet her again (she said she really wanted to!) to get her number from the mutual friend.The longer I leave this the longer the odds of anything happening with her become...

Help!?!

Smashhits

Coming from your girlfriends side please be honest with her. How do you think it will affect her if she finds out you've felt this way for so long? Staying with her because of her studies is just prolonging the inevitable.
She will wonder what she has done regardless of what you say.

If you want to be with this other person have the guts to be straight with your gf.
Speaking from experience learning your OH has met someone else is devastating, speak the truth to her now before you do anything else. Please your gf deserves that much.

LegacyUser

OP here again.

Thanks for the reply, can see where youre coming from too.

The thing is that I know that I feel that we both want different things in our lives and hence that I cant see a long term future for us e.g marriage kids etc.
Not trying to paint myself as a holy Joe but she is at a critical point in her final year of her course and has invested too much in it by me going and doing something like that.
I know this has been done to death on threads like this but I love my gf to bits but have never been "in love" with her. I said 6 months ago but the final nail in the coffin was xmas when we were out, she got drunk and went on a rant about how we were different (in a pretty nasty way to be fair). I kinda put it down to college pressure at the time and bit my tongue (Shes a first class honours student top of her year job, put too much pressure on herself etc).

Problem is if I break up with her now the fallout will be HUGE, living together, close to her family etc.

The whole thing is starting to get me down without even thinking about the new girl I met.

Really stumped

LegacyUser

This breakup is going to happen. Its inevitable. Putting it on the long finger is not helping you or your gf. Start getting your things in order.

ManOfMystery

I've been there before, and put off a breakup for various reason .............. gf stressed in job, Xmas round the corner, Valentines round the corner , etc ............. never a 'good' time to break up with her. You say you're worried about her studies being affected; well next thing you know, she'll be getting near the end of her studies and perhaps planning a holiday or something to let off some steam, and then you'll be affecting that too.

You'll learn quickly that the longer you leave it, the harder it gets. There is no such thing as a good time to break up with her, it's always going to be a big thing no matter when it's carried out. You just have to bite the bullet and do it.

Also, don't underestimate your girlfriend too much. Given the argument you had, she may know in the back of her mind that things aren't right and this may not be the huge shock to her that you think it will be.

LegacyUser

Is seeing this new girl anyway an option? I mean keep it innocent/new friend if you want for now or until the GFs course is over.

whirlpool

OP I understand where you're coming from, re: not wanting to break up with her because of her very important imminent exams. The people who have responded saying there is no good time to break up with someone are entirely right. However, what they are failing to see is that there are bads times and there are much much worse times. I think you have correctly identified the present as being one of the much much worse times to break up with her, and I think you are being very mature in realising this.

No there is no good time to break up with someone. But as I said there are bad times and there are much worse times.

You are simply trying to introduce some tact into your inevitable breakup with this girl, and I think you are right to do so.