is my brother right to be angry?

Niamh2389

Ok im gonna try make a long story short.
Yesterday i sold my phone to my brothers girlfriend and i told him to remove the sim before you give it to her as i wasn't there to do it myself but he never did . i had messages on it giving out about her which she read them. now these messages we sent over a year ago. i cant remember what they where about and they cleared my sim so i cant find out.

I'll now give you a quick recap of why i was giving out about her
- my brother changed when they started going out.
-he stole money, creams, tan, hair product clothes all for her.
-we had to give him everything she asked it looked like she was controlling him
-we began to dislike the relationship and her
but
when she found the messages everything came out she knew none of this was happening at home she thought we were allowing him to take the stuff.
but whats annoying me is that he knew how we felt about her all along and never said no shes not controlling me or corrected us at all. since we found out that she was pregnant we decided to get to know her and we really like her she said there was no hard feelings about the text as we said sorry so many times but my brother wont talk to us and said wer not allowed near the baby. is he in the right?

Lux23

You really should have cleared the sim yourself and he has a right to be angry about this but if the girl herself says its ok then I would imagine he will get over it. Just give him a bit of time.

Azureus

I don't actually see why he has a right to be angry about it, and even if he did have a right to be a little put out, not allowing you to see the baby etc is a huge overreaction imo.

He didn't do what you had asked him to do (remove the sim/wipe the phone) so its kinda his own fault to be honest. You've spoken to the girlfriend and sorted it out with her (fair play for you owning up-although theres not much else you could have done-and same goes for her forgiving you). Thats really all there should have been to it-a few red faces and a bridge to get over it!

ilovefridays

^ it's your brothers own fault for not deleting the sim.

anyway, if the girlfriend was upset and angry about the texts, then id understand your brother been like this with you, but the fact the girlfriend has forgiven you and everything is fine, i feel your brother is been unreasonable.

OR Maybe the girlfriend is pissed off with you and is giving out to your brother about the whole thing and that's why he is like this. and she's just putting on a front to you ?

moco

Your brother has no right to be angry. You, in kindness gave your phone to his girlfriend and asked him to take the sim out. He didn't bother.

He lied to you about the stealing, and allowed you to slag her off without setting you straight about it, in that the girlfriend thought he was allowed to take the tans etc.

If he should be angry with anyone, it's himself! Maybe he is angry with himself, and is just looking for someone to take it out on.

Leitrim lass

I don't see how your brother has any right to be angry.

He should be owning up to his stupid behaviour and apologizing to his family for stealing and dishonesty and also to his girlfriend for allowing you all to wrongly(because of him) have a bad opinion of her.
How dare him cause all this trouble and then act like the injured party.
I'd be down on him like a tonne of bricks if I was in your shoes and I wouldn't let up until he understood that he brought this all on himself.
He would seriously need to cop on before he becomes a father.

Abi

Niamh2389 wrote: »

Ok im gonna try make a long story short.
Yesterday i sold my phone to my brothers girlfriend and i told him to remove the sim before you give it to her as i wasn't there to do it myself but he never did . i had messages on it giving out about her which she read them. now these messages we sent over a year ago. i cant remember what they where about and they cleared my sim so i cant find out.

I'll now give you a quick recap of why i was giving out about her
- my brother changed when they started going out.
-he stole money, creams, tan, hair product clothes all for her.
-we had to give him everything she asked it looked like she was controlling him
-we began to dislike the relationship and her
but
when she found the messages everything came out she knew none of this was happening at home she thought we were allowing him to take the stuff.
but whats annoying me is that he knew how we felt about her all along and never said no shes not controlling me or corrected us at all. since we found out that she was pregnant we decided to get to know her and we really like her she said there was no hard feelings about the text as we said sorry so many times but my brother wont talk to us and said wer not allowed near the baby. is he in the right?

Theres two elements to this tbh, never EVER give a phone away unless you are 100% that you've wiped all your messages, contacts, pictures etc. I've switched sims in my phone recently, and while the numbers changed over, all my messages to my old number were still stored to the phone.

Your brother is over-reacting tbh. I can understand that he might have been embaressed to have to explain these messages, but cutting you out of his life and the babies is very extreme. You did ask him to make sure the phone was wiped, and if he agreed to, then he is partly responsible.

You're not the only one who has ever taken a dislike to a family members OH at the beginning of the relationship, it takes time to get to know / trust someone. And like you said you've grown to like her. You said that she said 'no hard feelings' about the messages, if he refuses to talk to you, is there a chance that maybe you could have a chat with her about it? It might be awkward, but maybe she could turn him around for you.

tbh

You made the comments, her reading them is ultimately your fault. If she's not angry with you, he won't be for long.