Would you pay money to attend a wedding?

whiteonion

I notice that people are willing to fork out €150 to attend someones wedding. I certainly would not pay a single cent to attend a wedding. On the other hand I haven't been invited to a single wedding during the course of my adult life.

Why are you willing to pay money to attend a wedding? If they can't afford an expensive cermony they could just go to the courthouse and have a wedding that way.

The weddings I have been to I had to go with my family as a child and I certainly think that not one single wedding has been worth €150 to attend.

mikemac

Nobody is demanding you give a cash gift

Get something thoughtful or tasteful, maybe a crystal clock for the mantlepiece.
The couple will look at that and remember it was whiteonion gave it

Cash gifts are forgotton.

Thought that counts
I've never given cash as a present, cash is the easy option. Put some thought into the gift

krudler

feelingstressed wrote: »

Nobody is demanding you give a cash gift

Get something thoughtful or tasteful, maybe a crystal clock for the mantlepiece.
The couple will look at the vouchers they got for returning the gift and remember whiteonion provided funds towards a new tv.

Cash gifts are forgotton.

Thought that counts
I've never given cash as a present

fyp :pac:

I'd say a lot of newly married couples would prefer the cash, its a reason people invite a lot of people to their weddings, to recoup expense (this is from someone I know who's doing just that btw)

mikemac

The lovely couple won't be getting receipts to return.

But if I see my gift up on adverts.ie or donedeal, why I oughta :mad:

Badgermonkey

feelingstressed wrote: »

Get something thoughtful or tasteful or maybe a crystal clock for the mantlepiece.

FYP.

smokie2008

I think it would be a great idea to pay to go to a wedding, its always someone very close to you and if it was someone close to me I'd much rather me and her pay for our dinner ourselves rather than leave a couple of newlyweds with a 20-30K dept like most young people end up with after getting married.

Dudess

whiteonion wrote: »

I certainly would not pay a single cent to attend a wedding. On the other hand I haven't been invited to a single wedding during the course of my adult life.

.

People give wedding gifts to people they care about - it's a nice gesture. If you are invited to the wedding of a friend or relative and you accept and don't give them a single cent (and no, you don't have to give them €150 or buy them something valued at that amount of money, but to give them nothing???) you have no manners. Worse again if they let you bring a guest (which no marrying couple should feel obliged to do unless the primary guest knows nobody else there).

3ndahalfof6

id pay to go to one of those big fat Gypsy weddings, they look like great crack.

Micky Dolenz

whiteonion wrote: »

I notice that people are willing to fork out €150 to attend someones wedding. I certainly would not pay a single cent to attend a wedding. On the other hand I haven't been invited to a single wedding during the course of my adult life.

Do you ever wonder why you have no friends?

Sunnyisland

I wouldn't pay to go to a wedding, I go to weddings only after being invited, and of course a gift or present is always given.To help the newly married couple on there way :-)

krudler

feelingstressed wrote: »

The lovely couple won't be getting receipts to return.

But if I see my gift up on adverts.ie or donedeal, why I oughta :mad:

what if they dont like/want it? or would rather something practical?

Dudess

3ndahalfof6 wrote: »

id pay to go to one of those big fat Gypsy weddings, they look like great crack.

Yes, there are many cracks on display all right - they like their thongs, those gals. :pac:

NeedaNewName

I hate being invited to weddings

whiteonion

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Do you ever wonder why you have no friends?

NO, don't need any.

bswan

OP dont be so tight

Micky Dolenz

whiteonion wrote: »

NO, don't need any.

I'll be your friend if you want and I promise I won't invite you to any weddings.

krudler

Dudess wrote: »

Yes, there are many cracks on display all right - they like their thongs, those gals. :pac:

prob just as many cracks on display from the guys too. It'd be like walking into Willy Wonkas factory with all the orange faces.

AnonoBoy

I sold raffle tickets at my wedding instead of accepting gifts. There was a raffle at the end of the night and we were giving away a car. So everyone felt they were in with a chance

What the guests didn't know though was that me and the missus had fixed the raffle so we were guaranteed the car. I pulled out number '11' and called it out. The feckin' wife took ages to come up and collect the prize, she'd been looking at the ticket upsidedown.

Warper

feelingstressed wrote: »

Nobody is demanding you give a cash gift

Get something thoughtful or tasteful, maybe a crystal clock for the mantlepiece.
The couple will look at that and remember it was whiteonion gave it

Cash gifts are forgotton.

Thought that counts
I've never given cash as a present, cash is the easy option. Put some thought into the gift

Totally wrong here, unless the couple is loaded, cash is the best gift. Weddings cost a fortune and the last thing a young couple need is debt to start off the marriage. €200 for a couple or €100 for a single is standard. Who wants a clock or something for the kitchen when they would probably have them already. You could get them vouchers or something but dont turn up with a clock.

whiteonion

Warper wrote: »

Totally wrong here, unless the couple is loaded, cash is the best gift. Weddings cost a fortune and the last thing a young couple need is debt to start off the marriage. €200 for a couple or €100 for a single is standard. Who wants a clock or something for the kitchen when they would probably have them already. You could get them vouchers or something but dont turn up with a clock.

So they are inviting the guests just to recieve cash to pay for the wedding?
That sounds very stingy, if they cannot afford to host a wedding they should not host a wedding. Simple as that.

Pauleta

I wouldnt pay money for my own wedding let alone somebody else's. I will pay money for me to look good at somebodies wedding though.

3ndahalfof6

whiteonion wrote: »

So they are inviting the guests just to recieve cash to pay for the wedding?
That sounds very stingy, if they cannot afford to host a wedding they should not host a wedding. Simple as that.

its the done thing, Irish weddings are like the mafioso weddings,

long lines of people with envelopes shuffling towards the bride and groom.

they remind me of dole cues.

bonerm

I'd pay a nominal fee to be excused from attending.

Captain_Generic

Civil wedding, outdoor venue, close friends and family. Only way to go

bandit197

whiteonion wrote: »

I notice that people are willing to fork out €150 to attend someones wedding. I certainly would not pay a single cent to attend a wedding. On the other hand I haven't been invited to a single wedding during the course of my adult life.

I'm not surprised to be honest. I wouldn't invite ya either

A wedding gift is not an entrance fee, its a gesture to help the new couple start off their new life together. Most people understand this.

AskMyChocolate

feelingstressed wrote: »

Nobody is demanding you give a cash gift

Get something thoughtful or tasteful, maybe a crystal clock for the mantlepiece.
The couple will look at that and remember it was whiteonion gave it

Cash gifts are forgotton.

Thought that counts
I've never given cash as a present, cash is the easy option. Put some thought into the gift

A couple of tickets for a Crystal Swing concert would be less expensive, just as acceptable to most couples, more tasteful, and less painful when you get them back between the eyes.

Tomebagel

Why should the people gettin married pay for you to attend theyre wedding by givin you a free 3 course meal,free drinks,and being there in the first place?

livinginkorea

In Korea some westerns have been paid to go to a Korean wedding of somebody they don't know. It's all the craze to show you 'know' some foreign people and get some photos taken. Around 30-40 euros I have heard for the hour (Korean weddings basically last an hour, including the grub).

davyjose

whiteonion wrote: »

NO, don't need any.

You've just written the boards.ie marketing pitch for 2011!

Snakeblood

bonerm wrote: »

I'd pay a nominal fee to be excused from attending.

Getting married in August, would love to see you there.

ericl

Dudess wrote: »

Yes, there are many cracks on display all right - they like their thongs, those gals. :pac:

Thats just to keep flies off the food.

Dudess

Warper wrote: »

Totally wrong here, unless the couple is loaded, cash is the best gift. Weddings cost a fortune and the last thing a young couple need is debt to start off the marriage. €200 for a couple or €100 for a single is standard. Who wants a clock or something for the kitchen when they would probably have them already. You could get them vouchers or something but dont turn up with a clock.

I disagree with the OP's attitude but this one absolutely stinks too.

sonic85

Tomebagel wrote: »

Why should the people gettin married pay for you to attend theyre wedding by givin you a free 3 course meal,free drinks,and being there in the first place?

errr because they invited you in the first place? most weddings seem to be pathetic attempts to outdo friends and neighbours as far as i can tell. why do you need to invite a couple of hundred people to watch you get married and then maybe a couple of hundred more to the afterwards. have a small ceremony with close family and friends and keep costs low. ive never been to a wedding where there were free drinks - that happen in D4 or something?!

dont agree with not giving a present or something though. thats downright stingy

Dudess

Yeah, if you don't want to be paying for people, don't have guests! Or else put on the invitation "Note: don't bother accepting if you can't afford to pay whatever price is currently 'the done thing.'" However, for a guest not to give a gift would be atrocious. It should be a two-way thing - and based on friendship, respect, caring, all that gay stuff that some people seem to forget about when it comes to weddings (as they're more concerned with getting their unnecessarily flash day paid back and their future unnecessarily flash purchases funded) not whatever "rules" were dreamed up by some money-grabber.
And "naming a price" that guests should pay rather than just appreciating whatever they can afford is just ****ing hilarious... Also, saying "x amount is the done thing" - really? Make a friend/relative feel like sh1t simply because of something being "the done thing"?!

Sometimes it's not easy for people to keep the numbers down though - e.g. if they have a large, close extended family. And some people DO feel bound to avoid conflict and end up having to invite people they'd rather not. It's easy to say they should put their foot down, but it's not always easy for them to do that.

jimmy_t

OP for the love of god you, youre obviously not the type of person people want at weddings or wants to be at weddings, if people just gave gifts to go to weddings there wouldnt be any more big weddings which are in fact great craic and people do actually enjoy.
If a couple spent 30grand on a big wedding for two hundred people and just got 200 clocks in return big weddings would become a thing of the past because nobody trying to get a mortgage and start a family could take on that debt.
You dont have to go to a wedding if you dont want just like you dont have to go to a dinner dance which you would also have to pay 60 or 70 euro per person for a ticket for.
Often people who are invited to the wedding are friends of the bride or groom or their parents and you want to be there to celebrate with them and have a good time and you dont want them to be saddled with 30grand worth of debt just because they wanted to celebrate their wedding like the majority of people do, thats why I give money, I like them enough to want them to have a boost to the start of their life together not a hole in their pockets which would take a decade to clear as the first ten years of your life together will generally be the poorest.

Bottle_of_Smoke

jimmy_t wrote: »

OP for the love of god you, youre obviously not the type of person people want at weddings or wants to be at weddings, if people just gave gifts to go to weddings there wouldnt be any more big weddings which are in fact great craic and people do actually enjoy.
If a couple spent 30grand on a big wedding for two hundred people and just got 200 clocks in return big weddings would become a thing of the past because nobody trying to get a mortgage and start a family could take on that debt.
You dont have to go to a wedding if you dont want just like you dont have to go to a dinner dance which you would also have to pay 60 or 70 euro per person for a ticket for.
Often people who are invited to the wedding are friends of the bride or groom or their parents and you want to be there to celebrate with them and have a good time and you dont want them to be saddled with 30grand worth of debt just because they wanted to celebrate their wedding like the majority of people do, thats why I give money, I like them enough to want them to have a boost to the start of their life together not a hole in their pockets which would take a decade to clear as the first ten years of your life together will generally be the poorest.

TBH think spending 30K to pretend you're 18th century aristocrats for a day is insane

If you have it fine, but don't expect your guests to cover the costs.

I don't like that 100-150 is expected because that means some people might not go because they can't afford the gift + expenses of the day and just make up some excuse.

MagicSean

whiteonion wrote: »

I certainly would not pay a single cent to attend a wedding. On the other hand I haven't been invited to a single wedding during the course of my adult life.

A fantastic explanation of cause and effect.

Fizman

I'm so fcuking sick of weddings right now. I have been to FIVE in the past 14 weeks. €100 cash into a card for each one. Another mate going in June and another in September. Arrgghhhh.

starbelgrade

Fizman wrote: »

I'm so fcuking sick of weddings right now. I have been to FIVE in the past 14 weeks. €100 cash into a card for each one. Another mate going in June and another in September. Arrgghhhh.

I feel your pain. 3 years ago, I had 8 weddings over the course of 1 summer and six stag nights to boot. 2 of the weddings were abroad & 3 of the stag nights.

I barely had a free weekend the whole summer & spent most of it dressed in a suit!

As I said to the other half at the time, wedding invitations are like invoices & should come in windowed brown envelopes!

Still, they're usually good craic & you can't begrudge a mate when they're getting hitched.

Creature

jimmy_t wrote: »

OP for the love of god you, youre obviously not the type of person people want at weddings or wants to be at weddings, if people just gave gifts to go to weddings there wouldnt be any more big weddings which are in fact great craic and people do actually enjoy.
If a couple spent 30grand on a big wedding for two hundred people and just got 200 clocks in return big weddings would become a thing of the past because nobody trying to get a mortgage and start a family could take on that debt.

Far out idea but just bear with me for a moment. You could always not spend 30k on your wedding. I know it's somewhat of a radical concept, but if a couple spent what they could afford then they wouldn't be in debt!

Captain Commie

krudler wrote: »

fyp :pac:

I'd say a lot of newly married couples would prefer the cash, its a reason people invite a lot of people to their weddings, to recoup expense (this is from someone I know who's doing just that btw)

We asked for cash donations as far as possible, but not as we were wanting to recoup expenses, simply cause we moved into a furnished apartment and didnt actually need anything for it, most people were only too happy as its a nice start to married life having some cash, some did give presents instead but again it was all useful stuff

jimmy_t

Creature wrote: »

Far out idea but just bear with me for a moment. You could always not spend 30k on your wedding. I know it's somewhat of a radical concept, but if a couple spent what they could afford then they wouldn't be in debt!

Then we'd all be just going off to registry offices and weddings would be left for the wealthy only, what young couple can even afford 10grand to splash on a wedding? weddings would be a thing of the past?
Everything would become a little less colorful then dont you think?
I do agree that a lot of money is needlessly blown on weddings and it could be cut back but even a budget wedding will set you back more than you can afford.

Aishae

Dudess wrote: »

Yeah, if you don't want to be paying for people, don't have guests! Or else put on the invitation "Note: don't bother accepting if you can't afford to pay whatever price is currently 'the done thing.'" However, for a guest not to give a gift would be atrocious. It should be a two-way thing - and based on friendship, respect, caring, all that gay stuff that some people seem to forget about when it comes to weddings (as they're more concerned with getting their unnecessarily flash day paid back and their future unnecessarily flash purchases funded) not whatever "rules" were dreamed up by some money-grabber.
And "naming a price" that guests should pay rather than just appreciating whatever they can afford is just ****ing hilarious... Also, saying "x amount is the done thing" - really? Make a friend/relative feel like sh1t simply because of something being "the done thing"?!

Sometimes it's not easy for people to keep the numbers down though - e.g. if they have a large, close extended family. And some people DO feel bound to avoid conflict and end up having to invite people they'd rather not. It's easy to say they should put their foot down, but it's not always easy for them to do that.

im with you there
its absolutely atrocious the cost of weddings these days - they'd be silly costs at any time but with the country as it is theres no excuse for big weddings with people you dont even want there just to keep up with the joneses.
if you cant afford to invite 100 people but of course you want a special day - DONT invite so many, cut down. or have an alternative to a 3 course sit down meal. the details in the planning is what will make your day.

as for gifts - i dont agree with the expected costs. but i dont agree with not giving a single token gift at all either. i've only spent 150 on gifts twice - for close cousins. otherwise its anything from 30-100 depending on how close i am to them, what i know they need (i reserch a bit there) and what i can afford at the time.
a deep frier doesnt sound fancy but i asked the couple if they really needed anything for the kitchen. whereas for someone im close to i made the wedding dinner placecards with handmade jewellery pendants or keyrings. id say most people are invited only to weddings of friends and you might want to feel involved in their day. if it's not a close friend i'd decline as nice as i could. say i already had a plan for the day. theres no point in them paying for a meal if you dont wanna be there.

people who actually hold big weddings and invite huge numbers BECAUSE they want the big wedding and they want the guests to pay for it - thats another kettle of fish. moronic - you cant expect a 150 cash gift when you damn well know a huge portion of the guests cant afford it and in all liklihood have other weddings (and gifts) to do

anndub

feelingstressed wrote: »

Nobody is demanding you give a cash gift

Get something thoughtful or tasteful, maybe a crystal clock for the mantlepiece.
The couple will look at that and remember it was whiteonion gave it

Cash gifts are forgotton.

Thought that counts
I've never given cash as a present, cash is the easy option. Put some thought into the gift

When my sister got married a few years back, she received 15 clocks as gifts. Unfortunately, she only had one mantlepiece.

whydoibother?

I'd be quite happy to give cash if I was very confident the couple wanted it. I'd worry about being patronizing if I wasn't sure. I say this because the last few weddings I've been too have been older couples, well established in their careers, who wouldn't really have had to worry about financing their wedding. In that case I'd rather give something thoughtful. But for younger ones, I'd rather be helpful and practical if I was sure it wouldn't cause offence.

Dudess

krudler wrote: »

I'd say a lot of newly married couples would prefer the cash, its a reason people invite a lot of people to their weddings, to recoup expense (this is from someone I know who's doing just that btw)

:eek:
Any friends of mine with that approach could say goodbye to my friendship...

I'd always give a gift - and would be as generous as possible too - but as a gesture of friendship and good wishes and thanks for the great day, not solely as payment towards their wedding.

easyeason3

If I'm invited to a wedding then I always give cash, €200 usually. Now I could go out & buy a present I think they will like but that would be impossible & tbh it would probably end up being re-gifted at some point.

.same.

jimmy_t wrote: »

Then we'd all be just going off to registry offices and weddings would be left for the wealthy only, what young couple can even afford 10grand to splash on a wedding? weddings would be a thing of the past?
Everything would become a little less colorful then dont you think?
I do agree that a lot of money is needlessly blown on weddings and it could be cut back but even a budget wedding will set you back more than you can afford.

I disagree.
Everything would be more colorful if there was a lot less big weddings is my opinion and you'll find that I'm not alone with an outlook like this. I reckon that its about 50/50 some people like em and others don't.I can't stand them myself.
Either way if you're close to someone thats having a big wedding you can come under a lot of presure to attend.Also putting 100 quid into a card is now so standard, that people attending will be under massive presure to do this crazy act as well.So as someone who hates the ****ing things you can imagine my pain every time im FORCED to pay up.

To all Brides
If you've had a big wedding or are planning a big wedding you gotta except the following as the truth:
~A lot of folk hate big weddings
~ at least half the people at your wedding don't really wanna be there.
~If you're discussing your own upcoming wedding with friends all of them are gonna say thay they are really looking forward to it.They are lying
~ If you really wanna know how people feel about about your up and comming 'special day' ask them how they feel about having to attend another persons wedding.
~ If they seem bothered and pissed off that they have to attend this another persons 'special day' I can assure you they are also bothered and pissed off that they have to attend yours.

dilbert2

whiteonion wrote: »

I notice that people are willing to fork out €150 to attend someones wedding. I certainly would not pay a single cent to attend a wedding. On the other hand I haven't been invited to a single wedding during the course of my adult life.

Why are you willing to pay money to attend a wedding? If they can't afford an expensive cermony they could just go to the courthouse and have a wedding that way.

The weddings I have been to I had to go with my family as a child and I certainly think that not one single wedding has been worth €150 to attend.

No, but i'd pay to get out of one.

dj jarvis

so OP let me ask you this.....

you say you would not give 150 for a wedding because you should not have to pay for a fancy wedding if they cant afford it ,
they should go to a civil office and get it done ...... right ?

ok so if the couple DID go down the civil road would you still have a problem with giving the couple a few bob to get started ???

if i knew them well enough i would just cough up ....

i think you might just be stingy :eek:

Aishae

even if i dont go to a wedding - if its a friend ill get some sort of gift - even a token one.
i dont think of it as paying for a day out - i like picking out a gift. unless its someone i barely know, then we're in unexplored gift teritory