I'm in Trouble, and need some Help.

HeadWreck

[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Hi guys, I don't really know where to start, so I'll start at the beginning...

I have a full blown stalker - and I mean the demented, psychopath, stab you in the shower kind of stalker. She seems to spend every waking hour of every day following me online, and she's making my life a living hell.

It all started a few years ago in 2008 when I met a cute blonde girl from Dublin, we hit it off, and started seeing each other. She lived in France, I lived in Ireland, but flights were cheap and we took turns to visit, every month or so. Everything went great for the first 6 months, I mean, we had the odd argument, but nothing unusual. I honestly though she could be 'the one'.. There was definitely nothing that would indicate, or show even the slightest hint of a sign of the nightmare that was to come.

Anyway, getting to the point.. One Friday night in March 2009 we were chatting on the phone, 9pm or so, usual kinda chat, nothing mad. My mobile gets a text, she hears it through the house phone, and asks 'oh you got a text, what do they want?' .. I had a look - it's just some lads going for a pint after the Coldplay concert, will I join them? .
Now I didn't really feel like it, I was just after getting over a dose of manflu after having been away skiing with her the previous week, my 5 days of sick leave was coming to an end, so I told her I wasn't going out for the pint. Then she insisted that I not go out, so I repeated that I wasn't going out.. no, no, that's not good enough, she absolutely forbid me from going out.. wow I cannot go out, so, okay that's a bit much.. 'Look, I already told you I'm not going out, and I'm not going out, and I'm on the phone with you, so lets drop the whole going out thing, and get back to the chat' - I told her - this was me being reasonable
No, she insisted now, most strenuously that I not go out, I had to stay in, or she would message all my facebook buddies, and tell them I was off swanning away, only pretending to be sick.. so I told her what she could do with her threats, that I wasn't going to have her tell me what I can and can't do. Then I hung up, called a cab, and went for a pint.

That night, she did just what she said she would. She emailed my friends, family, colleagues, friends of friends, schoolmates I haven't seen in years.. everyone on my facebook got the message that I'm off work sick, but I was never really sick, and I spent the week shopping and drinking.

Obviously, I dumped her immediately, blocked her from facebook, told her where to go, but that was just the start... and she was just getting warmed up. [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]The next number of months were, without doubt, the worst in my life. She messaged all my friends, telling them how sorry she was, that she couldn't understand what she'd done, or how she'd upset me.. she was behaving like she was their best friend, but they're not her friends, these are my friends.. these are people she has never met in her life – see, she lived in France, so we only seen each other once a month, she'd never met many of my friends – but now she was going on like they went to school together, she was saying she can't wait to meet them, and it's going to be such fun!! Everyone was getting a bit weirded out by her now, and she was showing definite signs of crazy.. distance was required.[/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]One of her emails wondering why my friends don't want to know her - [/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]They didnt reply, I didnt know why? Why did they not even say, hey a beer sounds good. ***** replied and she seemed really nice. What is the problem? I mean ive done nothing to them. Why are you over reacting? [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]She wouldn't have it, she remembered a few of my friends' names from before she'd been blocked from my facebook. She searched through them, looking at their friends lists to see who know me, who didn't have strict privacy settings, and who had pictures of me.. and she got busy. She found a picture of me with another girl on a friend of a friends page. Just a picture, one picture of me with a girl I never met before, or after. Unfortunately, the photo was tagged, and the poor wee girl got it in the neck. My ex went and typed up a long detailed, graphic account of our sex-life, where we did it, how we did it, positions, everything... and sent it to her. She was now in a frenzy, here's the message she sent to me that day (names removed to protect the innocent)[/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Just to let you know I forwarded our ********* onto everyone, your work mates, your friends, family oh yes ****** was the first to get it!! So nobody can listen to your lies anymore and to think you said I needed help. What cheek, your the one who has lost the plot. All your morals and how wrong i am? look at yourself you are complete scum. What a fool i was to go out with you, but you know what you cannot fool me and your story has been revealed. good luck explaining all this to ******, as you certainly dont even have the guts to tell me after all the time we spent together!! Well done ******* well done!! You should always take your own advice...
They always find out
Good luck finding new friends, new job, new family and new place to live, because i doubt anyone will want to know a liar. and dont bother giving your new number to them, they wont want it!!!
goodbye *******, you made this very easy for me...its the difference between non educated and educated...you should stick to your own kind. im not doing a marie curie phd in chemistry for nothing. oh and i see ****** is working in ucd postgraduate? oh great ill see her when i go to work there!! i doubt she will believe your lies either
you will never hurt me, just yourself because you my friend created this mess, not me...i just told the TRUTH!!! Lets see who can be trusted NOW!![/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Hmm yeah.. well , see the truth is, I was at a party in my friends house, and had a picture taken with a friend of one of the girls, I didn't so much as kiss her. It was completely innocent. It didn't save her though, the young girl was distraught after receiving the message. [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Fast forward a bit.. it's just too much to type. In the past 18 months. I've had 2 new phone numbers, 3 new home addresses (yes I moved house to get away from her), received a massive cookie in the post with a marriage proposal written on it in icing, have had blow up dolls and personalised photo calenders delivered to me, have had up to 50 phone calls a day from her, and havn't been able to a girlfriend.
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[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]
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[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Now I just moved to Limerick 2 weeks ago with work, and decided to try out on of these online dating sites, plenty of fish. A friend of mine said I should give it a go, so I did, and I've been getting a bit of attention. Not much, but a bit.. Surprised myself like.[/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]So coming to the end now, I promise, 2 days ago, Feb 14th, Valentine's day, and she found my online profile. She copied all the pictures, and added a few more stolen off my friends' facebook pages, and she made her own little profile for me.. with my pictures, and her words. In it, my name was 'iliketocheat' and I was (obviously) a complete arse. I only want one night stands, I'll infect you with STDs, and I .. I can't remember, it went on. There was nothing good in it at all. And seeing as how my ex likes to be thorough about these things, she didn't just set up a profile, she emailed probably every girl in the south west of Ireland from my fake profile, insulting them, and making me out to be some eejit. Now my head is wrecked – hence the username. [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]I don;t know what to do, or how to stop her. I've been to the Gardai countless times, and made formal complaints about her as far back as winter 2009. There not a lot they can do, they phoned her, and asked her to stop, but she laughed at them. Seriously, the Garda told me that when he called her, she actually laughed at him, and told him that there's nothing they can do, because she's in France. I completely ignore her now, well, I try to, I don't respond to her texts or answer her calls – tbh I've changed my number enough times, but she is getting it somehow, probably calling work or pretending to be someone else saying she's lost it or something. I'm sick of having to change my life, my email, my phone numbers, and all to get away from this little bunnyboiler, she makes Glenn Close look like a teddybear, seriously. [/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]So how do I make her stop?[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Suggestions please.... make it quick though
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… [FONT=Times New Roman, serif]it's only a matter of time before she finds this post, at which time, the world will explode for me ([/FONT]


[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]The obligatory pics, to go some way toward backing up my story[/FONT]
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Jenneke87

The Gardai, I'd say......ASAP...

Count Duckula

If you have all that evidence, could you not contact the French police?

But seriously, I'm not sure a light-hearted internet forum is the best place to get advice on this.

Raze_them_all

I gernerally find not posting where i live online helps.

Wolfe Tone

Jayzus, did ye get the ride? Or more importantly a solicitor?

Swampy

How about you try a bit of revenge??

MidgetWrestler

Jenneke87 wrote: »

The Gardai, I'd say......ASAP...

Been there, made the complaints, no use at all.

Count Duckula wrote: »

If you have all that evidence, could you not contact the French police?
But seriously, I'm not sure a light-hearted internet forum is the best place to get advice on this.

Have over 200 pages of emails, gave them to the Gardai, they phoned her. That's our tax € at work

Raze_them_all wrote: »

I gernerally find not posting where i live online helps.

Asked a mod to edit, I haven't enough posts

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Jayzus, did ye get the ride? Or more importantly a solicitor?

Spoke to family law solicitor, because I didn't live with her, family law doesn't apply, so it'd be up to the Gardai to prepare a criminal case against her, and DPP to prosecute.. which is fine by me, but I'd rather not drag my friends and family in, they've been through eneough, and they never want to see or hear from her again. She turns their stomachs now

Did those pics work at all? For me it says invalid link, but that could be just down to my 2 whole posts...

Wolfe Tone

No the pics didnt work mate

amdublin

How did she find your online dating profile

MidgetWrestler

Trying again

ballsymchugh

it's very easy to block facespace to people you don't know. i've just spent the past few minutes doing it. no one can tag you in photos without you agreeing, no one can see photos that you're tagged in.
so she may have done some damage that way already, but at least tie up the loose ends. delete your profile from the dating site or see if you can hide it.

sounds a total headwrecker though. what kinda cookie was it?

Stheno

Garda Ombudsman if the Gardai are not taking you seriously

You MUST provide them all the detail you have given the Garda previously.

MidgetWrestler

switched to a different computer/account and seems to work

I don't know what type of cookie it is, didn't eat it, was prob laced with poison anyway,
as for giving up, no - screw her, I've done enough with changing my numbers, and email addresses..

I much prefer the option of revenge than the legal route.

phasers

tbh if I were you I'd stop having any kind of online presence, it's clearly where she's doing the most damage.

Wolfe Tone

Holy sh!t dude...


This has to be a wind up??

If not, wow. Dunno wht more you can do, stick her facebook up online or something(take this to 4chan for mega lols) and see how she likes mad stuff like she did to you

amdublin

MidgetWrestler wrote: »

switched to a different computer/account and seems to work

Oh jeez. She's sounds really crazy

Stheno

O/t I'm trying to figure out if Midget wrestler is the op too

zuroph

Thats absolutely messed up,





your friends went to a COLDPLAY concert?!!? :eek:

drunkmonkey

HeadWreck wrote: »

She seems to spend every waking hour of every day following me online, and she's making my life a living hell.

She can only find your online as your leaving big tracks, you can live without facebook or sites like that. Loads of people use the internet without plastering there details everywhere.

Stheno

drunkmonkey wrote: »

She can only find your online as your leaving big tracks, you can live without facebook or sites like that. Loads of people use the internet without plastering there details everywhere.

agreed, most of my friends can't find me on facebook as I've no photos, no location, nothing revealing and searching for me by name brings up lots of me in different flavours. My facebook only allows friends to see anything about me etc, it's as closed down as it can be.

OP go to the Ombudsman, restrict what details you give out about yourself online, and block her too.

Even better google yourself and see how many places you or your usernames pop up in. Then go about reducing that.

MidgetWrestler

Stheno wrote: »

O/t I'm trying to figure out if Midget wrestler is the op too

Yeah, one and the same, I was using a different computer and MidgetWrestler is only a new account too, but I couldn't remember the damn password. Remembered it after.. typical

zuroph wrote: »

Thats absolutely messed up,


your friends went to a COLDPLAY concert?!!? :eek:

Isn't that a line in the 40 year old virgin.. you know how i know your gay?

drunkmonkey wrote: »

She can only find your online as your leaving big tracks, you can live without facebook or sites like that. Loads of people use the internet without plastering there details everywhere.

True, but I've had enough of changing my life to stay away from her, I'm not gonna restrict myself, or not do things because of her.

Gulliver

That is some frakked up sh1t right there. My commiserations.

Mail her back and tell her you've got AIDs and didn't know who else to turn to. Tell her that being "intimate" with her is the only thing you believe will dull the pain.

Although, you seem so unlucky she'd be over here and on you like a rash. She ain't wired right.

shannon_tek

Wow this this just here makes me sick. So sick that im bleeding.:mad:. you know i know that there are mental ppl out there but this is just taking the biscuit. not even. i know i would be in prison now that this stage if i was in your shoes i dont have the patients you have to put up with it for years .

but all i can say is something ppl told me. change your name online become someone your not. Think outside the box and be creative. create a internet track behind you that leads to a dead end. just change evey little thing. dont be yourself online.

Stheno

MidgetWrestler wrote: »

Yeah, one and the same, I was using a different computer and MidgetWrestler is only a new account too, but I couldn't remember the damn password. Remembered it after.. typical

I'm not being a smartass or trying to backseat mod, but read the boards rules about having multiple accounts, you might want to contact the admins etc in relation to that.

True, but I've had enough of changing my life to stay away from her, I'm not gonna restrict myself, or not do things because of her.

I'd class that imo as co-dependancy, by not restricting her access to your information you are facilitating her behaviour.

Get over it, restrict all of your information, get new id's, let your friends know only and take it from there.

Raze_them_all

Multiple accounts are ok, once they are not made to avoid a ban.



Am I the only one who kinda wants crazy woman to see this if only for her reaction?

Otis Driftwood

I have some questions about the legitimacy of this thread,the main one being that you claim to have forgotten your password in less than an hour of your OP.Colour me cynical but that doesnt quite add up.This thread may also be more suited to PI although Id imagine you will get the same answer ie talk to the guards.If this hasnt worked - again Im sceptical,numerous complaints and they say they can do nothing?Im locking it pending further consideration.

Otis Driftwood

Update.


Hi OP.Upon discussion with my fellow mods we have decided that this thread shall remain closed as its not within the remit of what tGC is for.

As a side bar OP,if you are being harrassed to the point that you are forced to move house and change numbers on 2 or 3 occassions then you really need to escalate the problem with the proper authorities.

Restraining orders can be granted and can result in the offender being prosecuted if they are ignored so if its as bad as you say it is then this may be a very real option.

Thanks for your patience.

Regards,
OD