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Anxiety about re-locating

  • 16-02-2011 9:18am
    #1
    sunshine16
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭


    I am re-locating to be with my partner next month in the uk. and although I am feeling really happy and excited, there are times when I really feel scared and start to drum up scenarios in my head of me panicking, I had panic attacks years ago which then became agoraphobia which was absolutely terrible but I managed after a few years by myself to get over it, but I always have the niggling feeling when I am anxious that it will come back and because I am making this move away from my family on my own the worry of it is setting in.

    I am trying to not let the thoughts get in on me, and just tell myself I will be ok.

    Just wondering does anyone have any real advise on how they have managed to do something like I am, (moving away) with these worries.

    I know it is natural and everyone feels this but I think because I went throught such a terrible time before it feels more real like im gona freak out or not be able to to it and have to move home.

    Would love some advise.

    Thanks.


Comments

  • #2
    Princessdizzy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 46 ✭Princessdizzy


    I really feel for you and this post really made me think. I don't think I'm going to be able to come up with any advice but I just wanted to say I know how you feel. I have suffered with panic attacks (still do) and find a lot of things difficult in life, and on many occasions it has held me back and I'm probably not living the life I really want to. I want to say it will be ok once you get there - but I know when you suffer from extreme anxiety hearing that doesn't help! Although it probably will be, something is always worse beforehand. For the first time in my life I've found someone to talk to who understands (my husband of one year) - it has made a huge difference to me and what I can do. It really helps me if the person I'm with knows about my anxiety - I can go to places with him (because he understands) that I can't go to with, even, my parents as they don't understand and aren't patient with me. Is everything planned properly? I have to check and check again to give myself less to worry about. Me and my husband are planning to move to Ireland from the UK later in the year (he has Irish roots) but I know I will be in a state by then (going on holiday is major thing for me) - but it is something I want to do so much and at 41 I feel I have missed out too much already on life due to fears and panic.

    I've not helped at all have I?! I use a lot of coping techniques (mostly distraction - reading, writing, playing words games in my head etc) when I'm in traffic jams, crowds, ferry etc. But that doesn't help in your situation (and mine later this year!).

    I'd love to know how you get on and well done for giving it a go, I know how hard it can be and what a big deal it is. We just have to keep fighting these feelings and trying to find our own ways to cope.


  • #3
    sunshine16
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12 ✭sunshine16


    Hi,

    Thank you for replying to me. Well I am feeling a whole lot better about the whole thing. I am not letting the fear take over me, as you know most of it is the actual thinking of "how will I feel" and picturing yourself not being able to cope or manage. So I have decided that I am strong and have gotten over the agoraphobia all by myself will deal with whatever happens.

    I am only making it a big deal in my own head so if I can banish them scary thoughts of it all going wrong I think is half the battle, sometimes easier said than done, but one thing I do remember from going through all this, most of it "is" only myself thinking whats going to happen when as much as I stood at my front door crying not being able to go outside with my Mam looking at me as if to say "why cant you go out" and only for me to push myself out there and although the fear was terrible I did it and only in the doing did I get over it all so I must remember this by doing it I will get over it.

    I am so happy with my new partner and we are so looking forward to our new life together so I will just think of the happy times we are going to have instead of "me panicking" thoughts.

    I wish you all the best and I think you also have done well to push yourself to go on holidays and do all the things that frighten you.

    I will let you know how I am getting on.

    So thank you again.


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