The losing streak thread

Cartel Mike

The rules are eratic ,changeable yet totally symetrical .
1/ If you bet on A, B will win.
2/Even if A is winning ,as long as there are seconds remaining in any event , A will still loose.
3/IF you create a time machine and change your bet to option B, then option A will win and B will loose.
4/When you do 'not' make a bet in order to 'break' a loosing streak ,said bet will win by a comfortable margin.
5/You will loose the next bet that you will make ....after this.
6/ In football ,when you bet on over 2.5 goals . 2 goals will be scored.
7/ When betting on under 2.5 , 3 goals are always scored.
8/ When you bet on a double, treble ,acca or any multiple bet , the last leg of said multiple bet will loose.
9/In each subsequent multiple bet ,the first leg will loose rendering the next events useless.
10/In racing , when you bet on a horse to win, your horse will finish second ....by a nostrel.
11/When you bet e/w ,your horse will slow just enough comming to the line to let the donkey behing it scrape 3rd place....by a nostrel.
12/When your horse wins a race : he looses. The word is 'interference'
13/When you bet on tennis , the player you back will loose the 1st set ......on a tie break.
14/Despite playing well in the 2nd set , he/she will loose said set..........on a tie break.
15/You will loose every 50/50 yet console yourself in knowing that you 'knew' this was going to happen anyway.
16/ You will listen to people brag about the fiver the had on a 6/1 shot.
17/You will listen to others give you advice
telling you that this dosn't happen to them and just why they're so chuffed about they're 8/15 windfall.
18/ You start 2nd guessing yourself and wish you had of stuck with your first guess.
19/You don't 2nd guess yourself and wished you did.
20/You start believing in the man upstairs..., if only because your convinced that he's dropping down to personally interfere with the results of your bets.


Well thats 1-20 . Maybe you guys can take it to 30,40 and then 50.
Im spent.

ft9

21/ If you back A, B will win and Coughlan will have backed B @10/1

mike65

11/When you bet e/w ,your horse will slow just enough comming to the line to let the donkey behing it scrape 3rd place....by a nostrel.

Rule 11a When you bet e/w in a 16 horse handicap there will be a late non-runner. Your horse will slow just enough comming to the line to let the donkey behing it scrape 3rd place....by a nostrel

Collie D

Amusing thread. Nice one, OP.

22. When you get a 'hot tip' for a horse from a 'good source' it will be unplaced but win a week later at 16/1

Collie D

23. Team X's long winning streak will come to an end when they're last selection on your monster accum - usually a 0-0 home draw against some useless shower who have lost their last five away games.

24. Laying off a bet guarantees the original bet wins comfortably. This doesn't happen when you let it ride.

Cartel Mike

Excellent rules there gentlemen.

25/ The girl behind the counter at the bookies starts feeling embarrased when she see's you comming- the irony of the situation isn't lost on you.

26/ You re-discover the brilliance of Morrisey and the Smiths.
You particularly identify with the song - Last night i dreamt , and when you hear the line ' the story is old- i know/ but it goes on' ....you nod your head.
And, in your car stereo you sing along with the song 'please,please,please
let me get what i want' (cause) "Lord knows it would be the first time".

You realise Morrisey was a gambler.

rossit

great thread very funny but o so true ,if i can relate with all 20 is that a bad thing for me as well as my bank account.

thesandeman

27/ The day you dont have a chance to top up your account your 4 'paper picks' will win.

28/ You get a 'hot' tip and manage to back it at 16/1 in the morning. It will be backed into 4/1 before the off only to be withdrawn at the start.

29/ You get a 'hot' tip but you see its only 6/4 so no value only to check the results later to find its drifted to 5/1 and won by 8 lenghts.

thenutflush

30/ you open an online account with a new bookmakers to take advantage of a free bet and when the bet wins, you find out the new site makes you jump through so many hoops to withdraw your winnings that you end up hating them and never using them again

31/ while watching the in-running odds change for a football match, you contemplate throwing a small sum on the underdog to win with 20 minutes left (at 10/1 or more) but then decide not to waste your money. They score 2 minutes later, making the odds sh'it.
- a variation of this rule occurs when you DO decide to throw your money on but all markets suspend as you go to do so, or in the case of Bet365, the market suspends in the 10 seconds it takes for your bet to be processed, and they then score a goal.

GoldenBoot

32. The hare will break down when your trap 2 in every race strategy finally looks to be coming good at the last bend.

Cartel Mike

33/ You become creative. You look at your bet and attempt to predict the exact circumstances that should (or will) incur in order for your bet to loose . You predict the exact time, and give yourself private odds on the chances of this prediction happening as you imagine . Your prediction is right . You hate this.

34/ The process dosn't work in reverse.

Cartel Mike

35/ You approch the 12th day mark of your loosing streak. When you check ceefax for the latest results you notice you've developed a sarcastic laugh . In your heart you know this laugh is days away from a full blown Shane McGowan 'hiss'.

Cartel Mike

36/ You distrust everything, especially sports results. Believing that everything is a conspiricy, you decide to bet mainly on televised events - this insures that you can watch failures unfold with your 'own' eyes.

37/ You find you cannot stomach to watch a televised bet involving your team and change the channel when it looks like your team may score. In your mind this is done to avoid 'jinxing' your team.

38/ You change the channel back in time to see a close-up of an opposing player's fat head celebrating a goal against your team. You watch the replays in slow motion knowing that this would not have happened had you or your granny been on the pitch.

39/ You develop a relaxed attitude towards shaving.

Cartel Mike

40/ You reach the point where you feel your living in a David Lynch film and theres a wierd midget(Paul Daniels) laughing at you behind a curtain.
You recognise at least David Lynch films have a plot .

thesandeman

41/ You go to pick your nose but stick your finger in your eye (thats what the last week has been like for me anyway).

Fowler87

ft9 wrote: »

21/ If you back A, B will win and Coughlan will have backed B @10/1

Staking 200euro on the nose of course...realistically 2euro:pac:

Cartel Mike

42/ The underdog will loose . The favourite will choke. When looking at a coupon, this leaves you very limited betting options.

43/ You rely on others to pick your bets for you.For this you scour through internet forums. You stumble accross a poster called Bumsex and randomly think 'he'll do'.

Cartel Mike

44/ Anything below the odds of 8/11 disgust you. You don't have the capital to even acknowledge such odds.

45/ You feel ashamed. The realities of what seems like the last decade of loosing loom large. The evidence lies in the unopeaned bank statement that you've hidden behind the tv- the one that won't get opened.

46/ Being Irish and catholic you are more worried about what you parents might think . They didn't bring you up this way . If they knew they might tell the parish priest.

47/You think Leyton Orient have a realistic chance of winning the FA Cup.

Joseph291987

48/ Barcelona only fail to win when you bet on them.

Cartel Mike

49/ You fantasize about winning again and obsess over your winning celebration.
You decide you will do a Begbie from 'Trainspotting' and scream 'baaaadboooy' at the top of your lungs.

50/ The last few weeks start to make sense after you watch a programme on bbc about the 'essence' of reality.
When Newcastle came from four goals down at half time to draw with Arsenal it represented a rift in the time continuim and sent everything into an alternate reality. You were so pissed at them you didn't even notice.
When sport moves to an alternate reality and shifts the time line, your head temporarily stays in the old time line and this is why your mind and sports results are out of sync.
In the future, by scanning odd, miraculus or magic occurances in sport you will be able to spot the potential start of a loosing streak and not gamble until your mind has adjusted to the new time line.



If i think any more rules i will post them and recomend anyone do the same. I think that any more from me at this stage will just be a variation on the ones already there.
I need to add that i havn't won a bet in over two weeks now so i'm taking a time out to adjust and re-evaluate . Cheers.