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  • 14-02-2011 8:29pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm married a long time- nearly 20 years. Mostly Ok but some bad years - TBH I look at my wife now and she leaves me cold. My wife is a good person but not for me I fear. I have tried to talk to her but she refuses to listen - saying I'm depressed, what about the kids?, 'lets make more time for us' etc
    God grant me the strength & courage to make the break because I can't take much more of this...


Comments

  • #2
    dan_d
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,819 ✭✭✭dan_d


    Step one - counselling.

    You've tried to talk, she's not listening. So go to a marriage counsellor.

    It is actually possible, if you are dealing with a lot of stress/worry whatever, that you can become consumed by negative thoughts, and that they can colour how you see your life and those in it.Believe me, I know this, I've been there.

    It may all come out in the wash and work out...and it may not.But before you do anything, you should tell your wife that you feel there's a problem and you think you should both go to see a counsellor. Before you hit the self-destruct button out of desperation, and wreak havoc on your life, her life and your kids lives. You owe you (and them), that much, at least. And if things do end, then maybe counselling might help to make it that bit less painful. But you have to give it a chance - it won't be solved after just a couple of weeks of talking.


  • #3
    LB6
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,719 ✭✭✭LB6


    Counselling only works if both people want to make the marriage work. It's like talking to a brick wall if it's one-sided. And for some the relationship may have been over for them, long before the spouse/partner even realised.


  • #4
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Not Me wrote: »
    God grant me the strength & courage to make the break because I can't take much more of this...

    You don't actually say what it is you want advice on, but, if there is any doubt at all, then ye should talk to a professional.

    However, if you are 100% sure you want out, then just leave. It won't be easy. You will find the change difficult and hard to handle for some months.
    Your kids should be foremost in your mind and you should bear in mind that consistency is the key to having a good relationship with them.

    After leaving my ex, I found the first 6 months or so to be very difficult. In the end, it was the best move I ever made.
    I cannot stress enough how you should make your children the focus.
    Effort now will ensure that you have a good relationship with them and they have a father to turn to.
    Lastly, do not, under any circumstances disrespect their mother in front of them.
    Best of luck.


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