Can this end well?

LegacyUser

Hey folks!

Hope you can settle my mind a bit! I met a great guy about a month ago, we hit it off straight away, had a definite spark and although i felt he was rushing things a little it was nice to be swept off mu feet after a track record of A-holes!

He was happy to meet all my friends and ALL of them were instantly impressed.....all good! You get the picture!

So, I'm nor sure when, but things changed...maybe 2 weeks ago? He was still showing an interest, doing things only a person who liked me would do but he stopped arranging dates! Stopped calling and texting as frequently, we went from 3-4 hours on the phone per day to 10 mins spread over 2 conversations if I was lucky! But he'd act totally normal and then say "I've to go"

I thought maybe it was because we hadn't had sex, I've only slept with a few people on the past so have never rushed in to it, he knew this and I'm sure he's a decent bloke still so I don't think he would have let it happen of he just wanted sex!

Anyway, he went so distant after that I got a bit frustrated and texted him! Here's my msg and his reply.... Should I give up on him or hold out hope? I reeeeeally like him

<edited at OP's request>

And his reply....

<edited at OP's request>

I'm a bit confused? But glad I expressed my concerns

Fittle

Don't think you need to be confused at all OP here, sorry. He's finishing it...but doing it very gradually so he doesn't feel bad about it.

I don't know him, but my guess is he rushed into it (meeting your friends etc) and it's something he often does.

Move on would be my advice, sorry:(

Miss Fluff

I wouldn't hold out too much hope/waste any more time on him tbh hon, sounds like its dead in the water and rather than ending it he was hoping you'd take the hint. He obviously has done this before, he's admitted as much himself.

Also, introducing someone you're "seeing" after a month to all your mates is a bit full-on to be honest so maybe next time agree to take things a little more slowly until you're absolutely sure about them/them about you....

LegacyUser

Op here, thanks for the replies! Your prob right, I'll assume it's over

Umm, mods might u be able to amend or delete the texts I included in my original post, in the unlikely event he logs on thanks

Tiger123

wow my first impressions were the opposite. he had the perfect opportunity there to say yeah i know ive been distant and i'm sorry but things are hectic for me now and i'm not in the right place to be having a relationship.he so could have just broke it off there and then if he wanted. or if he was hoping you would get the hint he wouldn't have sounded so nice. maybe he genuinely just has something going on that he needs to sort out.

it's impossible to know what's going through someones head but would it be too difficult for you to just wait it out and see what happens? i know you don't want to be strung along and all but on the other hand what would you be losing

Cheap Thrills!

Frazzled2011 wrote: »

"I know I've been distant I have had a few issues with the x and my house and I need a. Clear head to get this sorted...

Issues with the ex. That's not good.

Frazzled2011 wrote: »

as I always do I got very carried away with u very quickly in a whirlwind

Backtracking, he's saying it was all a mistake.

Frazzled2011 wrote: »

I need a little time to make things clear so I don't **** u up too...

Fcuk you up too? Like he fcuked up his ex or himself? Not sure about that one. But he's saying he doesn't want to hurt you. He is pulling away.

Frazzled2011 wrote: »

Really enjoyed ur company and chats too ... Mad this weekend in work too thank u for acknowledging that and I appreciate that ... I'll call u in a few days to talk.."

Hm, use of the past tense there. enjoyed. It really looks as though it's over OP. Call you in a few days to talk?

I wouldn't be too happy with that. I would just text him back and say you'd rather just leave it at that and Good luck. Save a bit of face.

Tiger123

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

Issues with the ex. That's not good.



Backtracking, he's saying it was all a mistake.



Fcuk you up too? Like he fcuked up his ex or himself? Not sure about that one. But he's saying he doesn't want to hurt you. He is pulling away.



Hm, use of the past tense there. enjoyed. It really looks as though it's over OP. Call you in a few days to talk?

I wouldn't be too happy with that. I would just text him back and say you'd rather just leave it at that and Good luck. Save a bit of face.

this seems like better advice than mine actually. i didn't really analyse. i just read it once and went with first impressions. i know ye aren't going out long so he's not going to beg you to take him back but if we're wrong and he does want to be with you he will pick up the phone in a few weeks and ring you.

Eibhin

I would agree with the other posters.

The line of his reply that caught my attention was "as I always do, I got carried away too quickly"

What does he mean "as he always does?" Does he make a habit of this?

And that old chestnut...the ex!! Roll out another excuse please.

TBH I would not contact him again and forget about him. It's early enough that you will get over him quickly, especially as you have not slept together yet (well done on that one!)

His loss and the best of luck to you

xx

Firetrap

Agreed with the others. The short phone calls thing too is a bad sign. It's like he's playing at being your boyfriend but is inching backwards from the relationship. If you can resist the temptation to contact him, it would be interesting to see if/when he does get back in touch with you.

Katgurl

Hey op,

sorry but agreeing with the others, writing is on the wall here.

Few things I noticed from your post - never let a guy rush you along too quickly, yes it's flattering but don't let them take the reins entirely, 3-4 hour phonecalls just too much too fast and sadly those sort of heightened starts often fizzle out just as quickly. I've done it myself and been on the receiving end so really have learned the hard way.

Also big huge congrats on not sleeping with him till you were ready.

Finally, you'll be over him in a heartbeat. He sounds like a melodramatic headwrecker by that text message and you'll be relieved with a bit of distance.