21st Birthday

budweiser90

Well I'm turning 21 soon and I'm just wondering is it sad that I don't wanna celebrate it. I don't want to have a big 21st party. I hate all that organising and stuff. I was kind of planning on having a party just for the sake of it. Ya know everyone convincing me to have one. Is it common not to celebrate it. I don't mind having a small night out but just don't wanna make a huge deal out of it.

Neyite

Then dont.
I went out with a few close friends and had a great time. No balloons, cake or old relatives. Do what you are comfortable with, if that means not having a party but a nice night out with your mates instead, then do what you want. It is your birthday after all.

Chinafoot

I'm the same as yourself OP, I don't like big formal parties and the thought of a 21st party in some function room filled with relatives and cousins I barely ever see filled me with absolute dread. I'm lucky in that my birthday is in the summer so I decided on a BBQ with some close friends and some family that I see often. It was a brilliant night. I was comfortable in my surroundings and there was no call for a speech, 21 kisses or any of that rubbish.

Do what makes you happy OP, and remember that its your birthday. If you fancy a night out with your mates, do that. However, if your parents are giving you hassle over it or think relatives will be offended etc, why don't you compromise a tiny bit and invite them to your house for an hour or two before you head out with your friends. They can have a drink and some food (you can have a drink and some soakage) and then you can head out for the night you really want.

Oh and happy birthday

kerryman12

I didnt do anything - at all.

Each to there own, do what makes you happy.

Bestt of luck

The Lovely Muffin

I sympathize the the OP, I know exactly where your coming from.

I'm agreeing with everyone else here - do what you want to do. It is your birthday and up to you to decide what you want, party/meal out etc. Don't let anyone else convince you to do what they want, it's your birthday and they should accept any decisions you make regarding it.

I'm 21 next year and am already been asked about plans for it, I've told my family explicitly there is to be no fuss about it. Here's hoping they listen and accept my decision.

Happy Birthday, hope you have a great time whatever you do!

Hank_Jones

I never had one.

Never bought into that nonsense, always felt that sort of thing was just for attention seekers.

If you don't want to have one, don't.
Don't let anyone try and tell you your mind.
You might regret it later on, I don't though.

LegacyUser

I felt exactly the same OP - but I let myself be pushed into the Big Party thing for my 21st. I hated every minute of it. I'm sure some people love it, but it really just wasn't me, and I found it incredibly stressful before an during it.

For later big birthdays (30th, and 40th!) I went to dinner with family, and had a separate small night with close friends. No relatives I haven't seen for years, an no barely-friends. I enjoyed both big birthdays immensely more than my 21st.

It's hard when you're 21 OP - and tbh I found it hard at 30 too (I didn't do the Big Deal thing for 30 though) - but you have to tell people that you jsut aren't into fuss and don't want it. I'm sure you'll get all sorts of stuff about "you'll enjoy it on the night" - but be firm! I had no fuss for being 40, and I just flat out stated that I hated fuss and wouldn't enjoy it. Took a while for a few close friends to be convinced - which I was surprised about, given that my family were totally grand with it, but it was all fine and low-key in the end. You just have to be firm and unwavering about what you want (and don't want!).

Kimono-Girl

For my 21st i had 2 small meals and a small party rather then one big one,

i had a meal with just my parents and siblings,
i then had a second meal with relatives im really close to and his parents,
and my boyfriend at the time threw me a surprise party which was just a night out with all my friends and some old friends from school.
on the day itself we went to the zoo and just had fun and tbh i feel it was the best 21st i could have had!

do whatever you want, its your party!

LegacyUser

I hate being the centre of attention so the idea of having a 21st was never going to be a runner. I also had the problem of losing touch with a lot of my friends from school and my home town when I moved away to go to college. My family is from the other side of the country so no matter where I would have it there would be no one at it so I didnt see the point. My birthday was a week before I started college again so I just waited till I started back at college and went out with my friends also went snowboarding that weekend (that place in Kilternan) and had a great laugh. For the day I turned 21 I dont think I did a dam thing, my mates from home thought I was mad for not having a 21st like they did but they had never left home and their parents where from the town as well.

Wagon

I'm with you on this one OP. I detest being the centre of attention. But family can be pushy. And your mates just want an excuse to get drunk.

Tell your family you aren't having one. End of story.

Tell your mates that they can find someone else to get pissed. Only get the few close ones out for a session. Trust me, those nights are a lot better.

LegacyUser

I turned 21 last month and didnt bother doing anything and I was grand with it. 21st just seem like so much hassle and its not like turning 21 is anything significant, you can drink leagly when your 18. It all depends what your into tho, whether your into big parties or just want small celebration.

Miss Fluff

Do whatever you want to do, it is your birthday after all. I had a gorgeous meal with my parents and eight friends in a really fancy restaurant as I actually despise organised fun of any sort, it's contrived and there is far too much pressure etc. (I couldn't help it that after the meal my mates had organised a surprise party for me after the meal with about 150 people there, but that was a surprise so that's ok :P) You're much better suiting yourself, no point in subjecting yourself to an evening you won't enjoy - people who care about you and want you to have the best evening possible will respect that.

Dilynnio

I didn't have one either instead I went to Thailand a few months later with my friends!

I have no regrets.

Do what you want and not what is expected of you.

Happy Bday.

Fluorescence

I've hated every single "function room" family event I've ever attended (including wedding receptions) so I get where you're coming from. The idea of being at the centre of one is even less appealing. My older brother turned 21 last year and he had the extended family and some friends over for BBQ and beers, and that seemed to work out well. Personally, I'm thinking I'll go away for the weekend with some girl friends to celebrate :P. Who said function room shíte is the only way to go?

tawnyowl

budweiser90 wrote: »

Well I'm turning 21 soon and I'm just wondering is it sad that I don't wanna celebrate it. I don't want to have a big 21st party. I hate all that organising and stuff. I was kind of planning on having a party just for the sake of it. Ya know everyone convincing me to have one. Is it common not to celebrate it. I don't mind having a small night out but just don't wanna make a huge deal out of it.

If you're more comfortable with a small night out then that's reason enough to have a small night out.

thefeatheredcat

budweiser90 wrote: »

Well I'm turning 21 soon and I'm just wondering is it sad that I don't wanna celebrate it. I don't want to have a big 21st party. I hate all that organising and stuff. I was kind of planning on having a party just for the sake of it. Ya know everyone convincing me to have one. Is it common not to celebrate it. I don't mind having a small night out but just don't wanna make a huge deal out of it.

tbh every birthday since I hit my teens has been dinner at home with my family and birthday cake with them! I've never been interested in the whole sweet 16/21st big party thing myself.

What I did realise one year being away from my family on my birthday due to work commitments is that I really missed having my family around me with a cake and candles to celebrate it, as they were and are the people that mattered and matters most to me. A muffin with a candle in work did not quite make up for it.

my 29th last year was the best, because I was free to share it with my family, when everything else was so wrong in my life at the time. Best birthday ever!

It's your birthday, do what you want and spend it with the people you want to share in it.

my family wanted the big 21st but a bunch of my friends and i just sat in the pub having a nice sorta quiet evening.
If you dont want a big party dont have one