When do I tell people?

LegacyUser

I have been offered a very sought after position in a very well respected company. I have been looking for a while now and this position is ideal so I am quite happy with it. But I havent told anyone even though I have known now for over a week. Okay I did tell a agent I was in contact with when she rang me up saying a company liked my CV and wanted to interview me. Told me I had done excellent as she knows people who have been trying to get in there with no success.

I know a few of my mates will be jealous because they have been looking for a lot longer then I have. They will also be annoyed that I will be leaving them again after I had been away for the last few years.

I am a very private person and I dont tell anyone anything like the only reason I told people about my exams results is because other people knew the date of them being released. I am a lot more open with my friends then my family, when I got my full licence I told most of my friends but didnt tell any one in my family it was only the fact my mom found it and then she went on to tell everyone.

Its starting to annoy me due to the fact my friends/family are saying I should be doing this that and the other even though I know there is no point. One of my friends was asking me saying there is no point in me just joining (a gym) for a month and I should join for 12 months even though I will be starting and moving away next month. My family are telling me to look up courses/work for free and all that.

I asked two of my siblings for help with the interview and ever since they have been ringing me every day asking me if I have any news and for the last week I have just been lying.

I am afraid that 1.) The job could be pulled and then I will have people asking me what happened.
2.) I might not be cut out for the job and may get the sack.
3.) I hate everyone knowing my business especially in my family as the idea of my parents telling everyone just makes me feel ill.

I am very tempted to say to my siblings that I didnt get it just to get them off my back/see how they will react.

Anyway just wondering when should I tell people? When I have signed the contract? The day I start?

Zen65

The day you sign the contract, you can tell.

Till then, best to stay quiet about it.

If you are working, you will need to give your employer suitable notice.

Be at peace,

Z

InReality

for worry no 2 you can say its a temporary job.

thefeatheredcat

I would definitely keep it quiet until you sign the contract and effectively is in the bag. At least that way you can just say to anyone that is unhappy or surprised about it that you didn't want to get your own or their hopes up or make solid plans for x, y, z in case you had to disappoint them or let them down.

On the plus side, at least you don't have to deal with telling them now and then perhaps anyone unhappy with you and your success (which imo, they should be genuinely happy for you, regardless) giving you stick over moving or making your doubt yourself.

mood

I don't see why you are so against our mother telling people about you passing your driving test etc. It's no big deal.

astra2000

I agree with mood it makes no sense to be secretive about what effectively is small mundane stuff. You need to get a balance as to what you divulge to people, there are certain things nobody ever needs to know, things such as your job you only need to tell people about when it is 100% definete and other silly little things like the driving test that are no big deal especially considering you passed. It sounds as if been secretive is taking over your enjoyment of life, relax a bit and dont allow it to take over. Your siblings were happy to help you prepare for the interview, so I would be of the oinion they should be among the first to hear your good news and make sure they get it from the horses mouth not through your mum.
Also just for the record most people will only have a passing interest in what is happening in your life, they are too busy living their own lives to be wrapped up in someone elses. If your friends are jealous that is their look out, it shouldnt hold you back from doing your own thing. Best of luck in your new job.

Miss Fluff

I'm a private person too but by the same token you need to know where to draw the line. People aren't really that interested/obsessed with every single element of your life you know. You do know that people knowing that you passed your driving test really isn't that a big of a deal on the grand scheme of things don't you? Why would it even matter?

Re the job, real friends will be happy with your success. OK to tell people when you have signed your contract and you are in situ if you would feel happier.

Judging from your post it would seem you give a disproportionate amount of your time to worrying what other people think of you. On the grand scheme of things, people are really genuinely more interested in their own lives and their own affairs so maybe you should keep that in mind and concentrate on yourself and what's best for you.

Lyra Fangs

I know a few of my mates will be jealous because they have been looking for a lot longer then I have. They will also be annoyed that I will be leaving them again after I had been away for the last few years.

I'm sure as your friends they will understand. They may be a little annoyed to begin with but they will soon be congratulating you.

when I got my full licence I told most of my friends but didnt tell any one in my family it was only the fact my mom found it and then she went on to tell everyone.

Is getting your drivers license really that big a thing that you feel the need to hide it from your family? It's an achievement that your family can be proud of.

Its starting to annoy me due to the fact my friends/family are saying I should be doing this that and the other even though I know there is no point. One of my friends was asking me saying there is no point in me just joining (a gym) for a month and I should join for 12 months even though I will be starting and moving away next month. My family are telling me to look up courses/work for free and all that.

They're just trying to help you by offering sound advice as to what you can do for your future. What can you expect from them considering they have no idea you've gotten a job, you can't really blame them for their suggestions when they're unaware you can't fulfill them.

If you're worried that the job offer might fall through then tell them when the contract has been secured.

With regards to you getting sacked, you'll won't know when and if that's going to happen till it does so you might as well tell your family the good news, they'll probably be delighted for you.