Oi! Monkey sex in this thread, click me!

The Philosopher

Ive been philosophising about this myself as of late, and I cannot quiet get my head around it. Lets say you are stranded on a desert island, you have found a source of food and drink and shelter, but you are basically stuck in the middle of the ocean with no other humans and no women, hence no sex. Now imagine you find a monkey on this desert island and you are feeling desperate, would you have sex with it or would you rather stay sexually frustrated under all circumstances.

funkyouup

Probably just have a ****.

Senna

Is the monkey cute?

The Philosopher

Senna wrote: »

Is the monkey cute?

Just a monkey, lets say a chimpanzee.

Mahatma coat

it would really depend on the Monkey

This
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQrf2pJ39TrlviICCejHXgYROH48Tzhx06Uw3OHWxRXDPcTHiJIhw
I would

This however
[http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS2M2pJR_tCEf3ote5biE3DBGX7S1Zl6xwGBJnZRsa958oeQ-vW
No

Keith186

Having sex with monkey = does not compute.
Back to square one, what's next?

Vicious circle if you ask me, monkeys scratch.

whiteboy

lock. ban. delete

Buceph

Would I have a johnny? Aids came from the monkeys, so it's better to be careful.

Senna

The Philosopher wrote: »

Just a monkey, lets say a chimpanzee.

Has it looked after itself? what age is it? is it wearing high heels? there are all important questions than need answered before i can make an informed decision.

Buceph

Senna wrote: »

Has it looked after itself? what age is it? is it wearing high heels? there are all important questions than need answered before i can make an informed decision.

Are they looking for commitment, or is it just a fun thing?

The Philosopher

Senna wrote: »

Has it looked after itself? what age is it? is it wearing high heels? there are all important questions than need answered before i can make an informed decision.

Its a clean monkey, thats young. No high heels unless you have them on your own accord.

The Philosopher

Buceph wrote: »

Would I have a johnny? Aids came from the monkeys, so it's better to be careful.

Again only if youve brought a johnny, otherwise youd have to risk it. But if you were desperate, you never know.

J. Marston

Nah, I'd just pull macaque.

Senna

The Philosopher wrote: »

Its a clean monkey, thats young. No high heels unless you have them on your own accord.

Would it want to cuddle for hours afterwards or can i just fall asleep. Also when you say clean, has it been tested recently.

landsleaving

Is there a schoolgirl outfit or soemthing that I could put on the monkey, and maybe some coconut make-up?

The Philosopher

Senna wrote: »

Would it want to cuddle for hours afterwards or can i just fall asleep. Also when you say clean, has it been tested recently.

Maybe it might like to cuddle, who knows. But if you were afraid of the monkey having aids why would you want to cuddle it?

Aoifey!

The Philosopher wrote: »

Maybe it might like to cuddle, who knows. But if you were afraid of the monkey having aids why would you want to cuddle it?

I'm pretty sure if you'd have sex with it, you've risked aids enough to cuddle.

Buceph

The Philosopher wrote: »

Maybe it might like to cuddle, who knows. But if you were afraid of the monkey having aids why would you want to cuddle it?

Cuddly transmitted diseases, you mean?

Senna

The Philosopher wrote: »

Maybe it might like to cuddle, who knows.

Ok if it cuddles of less than 5 minutes, then makes me a sandwich, i'd do it.

The Philosopher

Senna wrote: »

Ok if it cuddles of less than 5 minutes, then makes me a sandwich, i'd do it.

Hmm you have an interesting philosophy of life.

TeddyTedson

The Philosopher wrote: »

Ive been philosophising about this myself as of late, and I cannot quiet get my head around it. Lets say you are stranded on a desert island, you have found a source of food and drink and shelter, but you are basically stuck in the middle of the ocean with no other humans and no women, hence no sex. Now imagine you find a monkey on this desert island and you are feeling desperate, would you have sex with it or would you rather stay sexually frustrated under all circumstances.

You realise this is how aids started

The Philosopher

TeddyTedson wrote: »

You realise this is how aids started

But if you had sex with a monkey that had aids, on a desert island in the middle of the ocean, it would be confined to that island and coudlnt spread.

Senna

TeddyTedson wrote: »

You realise this is how aids started

So the person on the desert island did have sex with the monkey and was then rescued? was it Tom Hanks?

tonysea

Buceph wrote: »

Would I have a johnny? Aids came from the monkeys, so it's better to be careful.

I love the way there isnt even the question of wether to do it, it's jus would I have a johnny?

TeddyTedson

hmmm, I probably should say this but I'm tired and about to go to bed so I will.
Didn't circumcision originate in countries where sand would get caught in the foreskin. Maybe it originated from someone in a similar situation who started having sex with a sand pussy they built never the tide and has sex with it until it filled with seawater...

WindSock

The Philosopher wrote: »

Just a monkey, lets say a chimpanzee.

All kinds of wrong.

That's an ape.

johnmcdnl

isn't this how aids became a problem in our modern world

t0mm13b

Nice spot here for trolling .... :P

Talk to the hand as one would say....

Degag

Would the monkey be willing to have sex or would he put up a fight?


*Never thought i'd be asking that question at 4am on a Thursday night*

Aoifey!

Degag wrote: »

Would the monkey be willing to have sex or would he put up a fight?


*Never thought i'd be asking that question at 4am on a Thursday night*

Hmm, well now we're talking about monkey rape, that's a whole different topic!

minidazzler

Mahatma coat wrote: »

it would really depend on the Monkey


This however
[http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS2M2pJR_tCEf3ote5biE3DBGX7S1Zl6xwGBJnZRsa958oeQ-vW
No

Too right you wouldn't **** Chewey, he singlehandedly directed the rebel alliance in taking back the galaxy. And without ever revealing that he is the greatest secret agent in the rebel alliance!

But to answer the thread, that's how HIV might have been started! Now, find me a sheep and we are hot to trot!

deathrider

With the sheer amount of hypothetical scenarios that hypothetically place people on a desert island, hypothetically the place should have a fair few hot chicks on it by now.

RichieC

The Philosopher wrote: »

Just a monkey, lets say a chimpanzee.

A Chimp you rip you to shreds if you tried to rape it. then possibly rape your limbless corpse.

jackiebaron

The Philosopher wrote: »

Ive been philosophising about this myself as of late, and I cannot quiet get my head around it. Lets say you are stranded on a desert island, you have found a source of food and drink and shelter, but you are basically stuck in the middle of the ocean with no other humans and no women, hence no sex. Now imagine you find a monkey on this desert island and you are feeling desperate, would you have sex with it or would you rather stay sexually frustrated under all circumstances.

Eh.....****!

mconigol

So how much booze do I have again??

chughes

Would you have to give it a monkey punch to get it to comply ?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Monkey+Punch

Bottle_of_Smoke

I don't think HIV came from this. I think more likely it was caught during the butchering of bushmeat.

Trying to have sex with a chimpanzee would probably result in death though, they're far far stronger than humans

jimthemental

Not unless it shaves it's legs.

dilallio

When I saw the title of the thread I thought you were talking about this ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omqb4NTVrFc