Leave it Be or Go

LegacyUser

Hi,

My Ex and me Broke up last week after 3yrs she just switched in an instant no warning at all she is away with college doing a masters in college in France.

She felt jealous of her new friends over there being single and not being able to see other guys as we are both quite young i was devastated she is my first love other relatioships but never loved someone.

Thing is i have flights booked for for this weekend for a planned valentines together should i stay put or headover to stay with her she did apoligise on the phone bawling her eyes out saying she loves me and wants to work things out and to comeover and talk and see what happens but needs abit of space so we have just being sending a few texts keeping in touch. head says no but heart says to now ive tried at least.

Any Help Would be Apprciated
Cheers.

Wagon

She felt jealous of her new friends over there being single and not being able to see other guys as we are both quite young

Shallow excuse from her and worst of all, it's probably accurate. What's the point in lying about something like that?

she did apoligise on the phone bawling her eyes out saying she loves me and wants to work things out

This is normally another way of saying "I'm going to keep you hanging on until something better comes along and give you hope to ease my guilt. I'm going to ask for space because i want to see if something will happen with someone who I think is better." She also broke up with you because she wants to see other guys guilt free in the meantime. And if you find out and ask her for an explaination, she'll just say that you two were broken up and she has every right blah blah blah, all that bollix.

So my advice is to get on the phone and ask her for a straight answer now. I can assure you she can give you one if she wants to. And also tell her that stringing you along by saying she wants to be single but loves you too is out of the question. It just sounds like she wants some company in Paris for Valentines day. Never mind her tears, actions speak louder. This is why your head is telling you to not go over and see her and to be honest, I'm in agreement with your noggin here.

It won't be easy but it needs to be done. Prepare for the worst man, this kind of stuff never ends well at all. If it's any consolation, I was in a similar position a few months back. After 2 years, a few problems, and in the space of a few days, it was all over and there was no going back. So I know the feeling of absolute misery that it brings. But I also know things improve down the line and in my experience, the less fúcking around there is with the aftermath, the quicker it is to move on.

So ask for that straight answer, get it, break things and cry for a while, then you'll be able to pick yourself up and in a few weeks you'll feel better. A bit more time and you'll feel even better again. Put it this way, it's a shít road but if you travel it once, you'll never take such a difficult route again if you need to. Best of luck mate. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

LegacyUser

Sounds very much like she's already found someone else over there and is trying to let you down gently....

Find out the full story before going there. I know if it was me I certainly wouldn't go.

ManOfMystery

As above man, give her an ultimatum.

Been in this situation before - girlfriend wants to be single and experience life, then all of a sudden Valentines/Xmas/Birthday is looming and she doesn't like the thought of being alone so calls the ex and claims she's still in love.

I guarantee you'll go over and have a great time, but a few days later you'll get another phone call saying she's thought about things again and wants to be single.

Tell her to make up her mind now before you go over.