Boyfriend's teenage brother victimised and verbally abused by his teacher

lynsalot

Hi guys

Couldn't find another appropriate forum so apologies if this is the wrong place.

I'll get straight to it. My bf's younger brother has been victimised by a teacher in his secondary school for a couple of years. Not sure of the specifics but recently the teacher in question verbally abused him in front of the class.

I'm not sure what happened on the lead up to the incident but she called the child worthless pathetic and a psycho. Now, whether this is relevant or not I'm not sure but he's got a lot of family problems and is seeing a counsellor which the school are aware of. The other pupils even told the teacher to quit going on and leave it go.

His mam has to wait til monday to see the principal but I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with this? What can the school do? It surely can't be allowed? And if his mam gets nowhere with the school what can she do?

Thanks

spinandscribble

If I was the mother and son i'd do everything in my power to get this "teacher" fired. Call the TDs its near election time. bring it to the school board. If the class is behind him get them to complain to the higher ups. Record the daily verbal abuse by tape. It's going to be hard for him/her to deny it when the whole class are witnesses.

I have no experience with bullying of this extent by a teacher but this type of thing makes my blood boil.

thefeatheredcat

I feel bad for your boyfriend's younger brother - no child, whatever age, regardless of the situation, should have to tolerate personal verbal abuse from a teacher.

Firstly, his mother should make sure she gets the full story from her son, that he doesn't hold anything back. And I do mean everything. Even if that is facilitated through his counsellor on the emotional side.

She needs to speak directly to the principle to get the matter open and addressed and give a chance for the teacher in question to be spoken to and steps should be taken and the matter investigated.

If she gets no joy with the principle, it should be moved forward to the next level higher - school board and board of education. Even the parents' association as they should work in tandem with the school especially on things like bullying, and if I recall, should have a representative on the school board. And if I can recall, Student Reps or Prefects might also work with them. Take it to the top.

This should be taken very seriously. A young family member of mine was in a similar situation, in a small primary school, where the teacher in question singled them out and targeted them simply because they had zero interest in a specific sport that the teacher coached outside of school but all the students of the class were involved with.

It didn't help that they were bullied by classmates on top of it; they were very unhappy and I figured had low self esteem. It was taken to the principle... I'm unsure of what the response was, but in the end they were moved to a different school and there has been considerable improvement in them overall and they're a lot happier and less troubled.

implausible

spinandscribble wrote: »

If I was the mother and son i'd do everything in my power to get this "teacher" fired. Call the TDs its near election time. bring it to the school board. If the class is behind him get them to complain to the higher ups. Record the daily verbal abuse by tape. It's going to be hard for him/her to deny it when the whole class are witnesses.

I have no experience with bullying of this extent by a teacher but this type of thing makes my blood boil.

'Cause TDs are magic and can do anything:rolleyes:

If there is a meeting with the principal, then the mother is going through the correct channels. I'd advise his mother to have dates and actual terms used on record, so she can tell the principal. If the school is refusing to take this on and won't let her son move class, then continue to record (in writing) any further abuse and then contact the Parents' Association and/or the parents' representative on the Board of Management, so s/he can bring it up at the next meeting.

You cannot record anything in a class without permission, whether you are a teacher or student and you would get nowhere by doing it.

To be honest, the chances of the teacher being fired are extremely slim. The best you can hope for is a rap on the knuckles and the student to be put in a different class.

spinandscribble

deemark wrote: »

'Cause TDs are magic and can do anything

I've removed your sarcastic rolly eyes as I feel they just distract from the point you made that was valid (made less so by the use of that emoticon)

No I do not believe they're "magic" but noone likes having to deal with them incase the TD gets their face in the local paper giving out about them. Usually scares them into dealing with things. I meant for that suggestion as a last resort if everything else failed but I didn't make that clear as I wrote it first, oops, really need to watch the structure.

I've actually seen teachers be fired for far less then what the op has mentioned in my last two years of secondary school years ago.

Record on tape might have been a bit reckless and in haste as I wrote that reply quickly but regardless a log should be kept.

This "teacher" should have no place at a school if they cannot behave in the same way expected of the students. There's enough unemployed newly educated teachers in this country right now that I don't see why this teacher can get away with talking to a student in such an insulting manner and still expect a job. I dunno, sometimes I think irelands just happy that the students aren't getting beaten anymore...Really boils my blood teachers like this skating along, never knowing the damage they might cause. Sorry to the op is my earlier post was unhelpful because of this hazy of anger it brought up.

Flashgordon197

What you have posted (op) is very vague. While no teacher should use such names-we dont know if the child has been extremely disruptive or even bullying towards his teacher. There seems to be a knee jerk reaction on this site which always always assumes the teacher is entirely at fault and the child an angel. More facts needed. You said it yourself "Im not sure what happened in the lead up to this incident" -so really you should not be asking for advice based on only half a story. Let the mother talk to the Principal. See where that goes.

mikemac

lynsalot wrote: »

Not sure of the specifics but recently the teacher in question verbally abused him in front of the class....

I'm not sure what happened on the lead up to the incident

So you know one side of the story. And doesn't every parent think their child is a little angel.

The mother needs to go to the Principal and get an investigation started. The board of management might have to get involved if it escalates.

An investigation will get the facts here

mood

Ring the Dept of Education to fid out what the official complaints precedure is and follow it.

Distorted

Flashgordon197 wrote: »

What you have posted (op) is very vague. While no teacher should use such names-we dont know if the child has been extremely disruptive or even bullying towards his teacher. There seems to be a knee jerk reaction on this site which always always assumes the teacher is entirely at fault and the child an angel. More facts needed. You said it yourself "Im not sure what happened in the lead up to this incident" -so really you should not be asking for advice based on only half a story. Let the mother talk to the Principal. See where that goes.

This.

Its just one side of the story. You will be hearing the best side of the pupil and the worst of the teacher. To listen to the parents of these sort of pupils, you would think they were angels. Teachers very rarely have the time or energy to single out a pupil in this way without good cause. Having had my own education disrupted by one idiotic individual (who incidentally had far more resources in terms of teacher attention, parental attention, social care, etc directed at him than the rest of the class put together) I know just how difficult it is for teachers to deal with disruptive pupils. And I don't particularly want to live in a nation full of spoilt, disruptive indisciplined brats who have never recieved any proper discipline in their lives.

No pupil should be subjected to bad treatment but no teacher can be expected to deal with truly disruptive and disturbed individuals on their own.

Quite often the problem is that these types cannot accept discipline. And neither can their parents, hence why they behave in this manner. I'm not saying this is the case, but I am saying don't just believe one side of the story and then inflame the situation. The teacher is simply trying to do their job. And from the sound of it, it seems a damned hard one!

implausible

spinandscribble wrote: »

I've actually seen teachers be fired for far less then what the op has mentioned in my last two years of secondary school years ago.

(Point taken re: rolly eyes, apologies.)

I'd love to know where you went to school, because it does not sound like this country!Teachers are nearly impossible to fire.

feelingstressed wrote: »

So you know one side of the story. And doesn't every parent think their child is a little angel.

+1. The mother needs to bear in mind that her young fella may not be telling the whole story here, before she goes in with all guns blazing. Obviously, she is going to stick up for her son, but the situation could simply be a misunderstanding, a personality clash gone too far or a teenager looking for attention.

astra2000

I agree with the others mother needs to find out the full story. She needs to listen to what has to be said before she judges. However if this has been an ongoing problem she needs to get details off her soon and present all the facts to the principal. Whatever happened the teacher didnt follow the correct procedure. If it is a genuine case that the teacher has been victimising this lad then examples need to be provided and the school is duty bound to take action.

cafecolour

As someone who teaches teenagers and middle schoolers at the moment, I have the utmost sympathy about the amount of hassle students can be, but any teacher who reacts by verbally abusing (i.e. calling names) a student should not be teaching. Hopefully a meeting with the principal will get this sorted.

lynsalot

Thanks for the advice guys.

I don't believe the teacher just blurted this out without a build up but I do know that this kid is not disruptive. He's not a scumbag without manners whatsoever.

I went to a rough enough school and saw kids throwing chairs at teachers etc etc and really tried the teachers patience and shouldn't be allowed. Kids being dragged up and having no rules at home and causing mayhem within school hours. I've seen teachers of mine breaking down in the classroom because of it and I don't envy teachers nowadays dealing with teenagers.

What I do think though is that the teacher is the adult and there is no excuse for speaking to a child like that. I don't know the ins and outs of the "victimisation" leading up to this whether its been exaggerated or not but whatever is going on the teacher shouldn't have spoken to him like that.

He gets glowing reports from all the other teachers. The teacher in question taught another family member back in the day who was very disruptive and caused a lot of trouble for them altogether so I wonder if the teacher in question expected the student to be trouble and perhaps automatically thinks the worst of him. Either way I want to be able to help by giving his mam as much information about how to get it looked into properly.

The reason for my post was just to see what channels can be taken to have this investigated properly.

rainbowtrout

spinandscribble wrote: »

I've removed your sarcastic rolly eyes as I feel they just distract from the point you made that was valid (made less so by the use of that emoticon)

No I do not believe they're "magic" but noone likes having to deal with them incase the TD gets their face in the local paper giving out about them. Usually scares them into dealing with things. I meant for that suggestion as a last resort if everything else failed but I didn't make that clear as I wrote it first, oops, really need to watch the structure.

I've actually seen teachers be fired for far less then what the op has mentioned in my last two years of secondary school years ago.

Record on tape might have been a bit reckless and in haste as I wrote that reply quickly but regardless a log should be kept.

This "teacher" should have no place at a school if they cannot behave in the same way expected of the students. There's enough unemployed newly educated teachers in this country right now that I don't see why this teacher can get away with talking to a student in such an insulting manner and still expect a job. I dunno, sometimes I think irelands just happy that the students aren't getting beaten anymore...Really boils my blood teachers like this skating along, never knowing the damage they might cause. Sorry to the op is my earlier post was unhelpful because of this hazy of anger it brought up.

It's still a ridiculous comment. TDs will not get involved in an internal matter in a school. And you can be damn sure that if they did they would not be shouting their mouths off in the local rag about it - it would lead to potentially libelous comments and a defamation of character.

We've only heard one side of the story here. Anything could be happening inside in that classroom. Let the mother deal with it on Monday with the principal.

I had a child in one of my science classes doing an experiment two weeks ago. There was some smoke during the experiment (nothing serious or dangerous, a normal part of the reaction). The child complained and said he is allergic to smoke and dust and gets migraines from them and one was coming on. So I had him brought down to the office etc etc. As it happened his parent teacher meeting was the next day, so I asked the father about it. Father said child has no allergies. Father then wanted to know what happened the son in class. As I had followed this up after class, I found out the child went to his next class no bother. So it seems that there was nothing wrong with the child, but he spun me and his father a story each.

Don't pass judgment until you hear the other side of this one either.

LegacyUser

A TD won't get involved in this issue, unless they are sitting on the School Board of Management.
Secondly, the TD will not want his/her involvement publicised through the local media.
Remember, the student is under 18 and is therefore a minor in the eyes of the law.
That means the media cannot use the student's name nor photo without the student's permission.