Period Sex

LegacyUser

Currently been going out with a girl about six months. We both have fairly high sex drives and a great sex life.

The problem is, I really don't like having sex with her when she's on her period. It pretty much turns my stomach even the thought. I've tried it about three times with her, and could never really get over the Ick factor.

Anyway, according to her, I'm the only guy she's ever been with who's had this problem. Apparently all other guys have been quite happy to put a towel down and get on with it. She thinks I'm being unreasonable, and this has turned into arguements the last few times.

I do try and make it up to her, give her back rubs and tell her she's beautiful. Yet she still gets annoyed that I deny her sex for 4 or 5 days. She thinks it's unfair cause when she's on her period is when she's most horny.

Am I being unreasonable to refuse to have sex? It's not like I've never tried it. I have. But even trying to not to look, I end up covered in blood, and it's not very pleasant. I also find her claim that every other guy likes period sex hard to believe. Any time its been mentioned when I'm talking to other guys, everyone else seems equally turned off by the idea.

Tallon

Don't do anything you're not comfortable with doing. Simple

If she's not accepting to that, then she's the one being unreasonable

IrishEyes19

I dont think you're being unreasonable at all. That's horrible. I would never expect a guy to do that, especially since its really only at the most one week out of four. You have every right to refuse.

Taltos

Um - in this case I have to say that maybe you are both wrong...

You - for finding what is a natural bodily function over which she has no control as "disgusting" and by inference her and all women as disgusting. Thing is though many of us do have fears/phobias - maybe this is just yours?

Her - for not respecting your beliefs and giving you grief over it - pushing you beyond your comfort zone.

Maybe this is something to talk about during the rest of the month - to try to come to a compromise. i.e. using a condom or shower sex or something else. Either way do NOT wait until her period until you discuss this - heightened emotions and frustration will just lead to war...

IrishEyes19

I dont think the OP has an issue in which he think her natural body's function is digusting. But I would be surprised if anyone thought it would be incredibly romantic and sexy to be covered in blood after sex.

Or maybe Im wrong in that some people would find that kinky :eek:

dub_3

Some women do get very horny at that time of the month, though I think most feel the exact opposite.

It's very hard for a man to look down and see his penis covered in blood.
(the brain seems to panic even though logically you know you're not bleeding)

Also the stickiness makes it different from the rest of the month.

It's definitely not something all guys go for.

Having said that maybe give it another few goes and see if you can get beyond the ick. If it's just not working out then try to find other ways to relieve her hornyness. (vibrator on clit, or try anal maybe)

Tallon

Taltos wrote: »

Um - in this case I have to say that maybe you are both wrong...

You - for finding what is a natural bodily function over which she has no control as "disgusting" and by inference her and all women as disgusting. Thing is though many of us do have fears/phobias - maybe this is just yours?

.

Totally disagree, people have differnet opinions.

I know someone who is afraid of feet, like terrified if people touch them off him

Would I be in the wrong if I gave out to them for not giving me a foot rub say?

You have to respect each others likes and dislikes... Never pressure someone

Duggy747

Taltos wrote: »

Um - in this case I have to say that maybe you are both wrong...

You - for finding what is a natural bodily function over which she has no control as "disgusting" and by inference her and all women as disgusting. Thing is though many of us do have fears/phobias - maybe this is just yours?

That's a bit harsh, isn't it?

I don't think you're being unreasonable. I'm not a fan of period sex either and the GF respects that (though she always seems to be the most horniest then........probably because I keep denying it from her during it :pac:)

You can tell her you can have period sex with her but that you won't enjoy it. Sex should be something in a relationship that both of you can explore and enjoy and all that mullarkey.

She shouldn't push you or make you feel bad for not wanting to. Just talk to her about it.

P.S - Period goo is nasty, I don't care if it's natural and I don't think women are disgusting just...........................eurgh!

EDIT: Actually, a good tip might be to........eh..........relieve her through other ways? Some girls do like their clit being rubbed during their period and can make a decent compromise.

snooleen

My boyfriend often says that he wouldn't mind having sex with me while I have my period, when he wants to, that is :P Although I appreciate his, ahem, bravery, I personally wouldn't feel comfortable having sex while on my period, the thought of it disgusts me, as does the thought of him pulling out with blood all over his penis (I've no problem with blood, it's that I'm freaked out over what he should be freaked out over). I'm also of the opinion that if we were to try it, he'd be turned off by it anyway (although he's very practically-headed about things like bodily functions and sees them as natural).

My main point is, I'm not comfortable with even trying it, even though I do get quite horny while I have my period. And although my bf wants to try it (simply because he's horny, not because that certain thing is a turn-on for him), he's ok with me not wanting to. We still relieve eachother in other ways and have fun anyway I wouldn't be happy if he tried to make me feel guilty for being uncomfortable with it and if he ever suggested that I was wrong to not have sex with him during my time of month, there would be a big issue.

Fittle

Taltos wrote: »

You - for finding what is a natural bodily function over which she has no control as "disgusting" and by inference her and all women as disgusting. Thing is though many of us do have fears/phobias - maybe this is just yours?

..

That's a ridiculous statement to make and is trying to turn this post into something it's not. The OP never inferred anything. He find periods disgusting - let's be honest, they are!! I'm female and hate sex during a period for the same reason he does - alot of women I know are the same. Most men I've been with also hate it. So while I can't say if your girlfriend is exaggerating by saying all men she's been with love it, I can say that in my experience, the majority don't.

sam34

i dont think you're being unreasonable at all OP. it's just personal preference.

you tried it and didnt like it - fair enough.

an ex of mine would never consider it, found it too icky, whereas another ex loved it and said he found it turned him on a lot cause it was a bit taboo.

Corkblowin

I think your GF is being a bit unreasonable OP. Personally I have no issue with period sex - its just one of those things and if my partner is especially horny at the time then why not! Having said that, I've had GF's who really were not comfortable at that time of month, so we simply fooled around - if anything. The biggest issue I found was having to shower immediately afterwards, when normally it would be falling asleep spooning.....kills the mood totally.

Anyway - the point is you have to respect each others boundaries - you cannot and should not be forced into something or be made feel guilty because you are not comfortable with something.

A compromise as suggested by some posters is the only way to go......and if she won't discuss it or acknowledge that this is a legitimate issue then you will need to assess whether this is the girl for you.

Taltos

Fittle wrote: »

That's a ridiculous statement to make and is trying to turn this post into something it's not. The OP never inferred anything. He find periods disgusting - let's be honest, they are!! I'm female and hate sex during a period for the same reason he does - alot of women I know are the same. Most men I've been with also hate it. So while I can't say if your girlfriend is exaggerating by saying all men she's been with love it, I can say that in my experience, the majority don't.

Maybe I was unclear - I did not mean to say he was inferring this to all women - but clearly his OH does not have a problem with period sex - and may interpret his dislike of the smell/sight of blood on his penis as a rejection of her. Hence my suggestion that they talk about this at a time less likely to be emotionally charged.

He is well within his rights to whatever his preference is - we all are, but clearly in this instance the manner by which they are both approaching this topic is causing problems...

Tallon

Taltos wrote: »

but clearly his OH does not have a problem with period sex - and may interpret his dislike of the smell/sight of blood on his penis as a rejection of her.

Then she's being totally unreasonable!

Taltos wrote: »

He is well within his rights to whatever his preference is - we all are, but clearly in this instance the manner by which they are both approaching this topic is causing problems...

Which is why he stared this thread...

ztoical

Fittle wrote: »

That's a ridiculous statement to make and is trying to turn this post into something it's not. The OP never inferred anything. He find periods disgusting - let's be honest, they are!! I'm female and hate sex during a period for the same reason he does - alot of women I know are the same. Most men I've been with also hate it. So while I can't say if your girlfriend is exaggerating by saying all men she's been with love it, I can say that in my experience, the majority don't.

It's just as ridiculous a statement to state the periods are disgusting - its only blood. Some people find it disgusting just the same as some find the idea of breast feeding disgusting but everyone is different. I'm female and I'm honestly not bothered one way or the other. I don't find I'm any more horny during my period then at other times but I've been with guys who find it a big turn on, I've been with guys who don't care one way or the other and I've been with guys who freak out if you even talk about it.

OP if you've tired and it doesn't do anything for you then fair play for at least giving something you felt uncomfortable with a try and now sit down and talk with your GF about the issue away from bedroom. You wouldn't expect her to perform a sexual act on you she didn't feel comfortable with so she shouldn't expect you to. There are options other then just putting a towel down that would reduce the amount of blood for you [she can wear a diaphragm during sex for example or theres always fun sex in the shower] that maybe you could discuss but at the end of the day you both need to be comfortable and if she can't see that then you might need ot rethink you relationship.

hollypink

ztoical wrote: »

It's just as ridiculous a statement to state the periods are disgusting - its only blood. Some people find it disgusting just the same as some find the idea of breast feeding disgusting but everyone is different. I'm female and I'm honestly not bothered one way or the other. I don't find I'm any more horny during my period then at other times but I've been with guys who find it a big turn on, I've been with guys who don't care one way or the other and I've been with guys who freak out if you even talk about it.

OP if you've tired and it doesn't do anything for you then fair play for at least giving something you felt uncomfortable with a try and now sit down and talk with your GF about the issue away from bedroom. You wouldn't expect her to perform a sexual act on you she didn't feel comfortable with so she shouldn't expect you to. There are options other then just putting a towel down that would reduce the amount of blood for you [she can wear a diaphragm during sex for example or theres always fun sex in the shower] that maybe you could discuss but at the end of the day you both need to be comfortable and if she can't see that then you might need ot rethink you relationship.

+1 to the above. I don't think periods are disgusting but I can understand how it might make some guys feel uncomfortable. As a compromise, do you think your GF would be willing to try using Instead softcups? http://www.softcup.com/. They say

Softcup loves making love . . .you can wear Softcup during intercourse for less messy sex on your period

I keep meaning to try them myself. From reading online some people seem to find them great and others not so much but maybe it's worth a try

JajaD

Fereemen wrote: »

Currently been going out with a girl about six months. We both have fairly high sex drives and a great sex life.

The problem is, I really don't like having sex with her when she's on her period. It pretty much turns my stomach even the thought. I've tried it about three times with her, and could never really get over the Ick factor.

Anyway, according to her, I'm the only guy she's ever been with who's had this problem. Apparently all other guys have been quite happy to put a towel down and get on with it. She thinks I'm being unreasonable, and this has turned into arguements the last few times.

I do try and make it up to her, give her back rubs and tell her she's beautiful. Yet she still gets annoyed that I deny her sex for 4 or 5 days. She thinks it's unfair cause when she's on her period is when she's most horny.

Am I being unreasonable to refuse to have sex? It's not like I've never tried it. I have. But even trying to not to look, I end up covered in blood, and it's not very pleasant. I also find her claim that every other guy likes period sex hard to believe. Any time its been mentioned when I'm talking to other guys, everyone else seems equally turned off by the idea.

Oh my god. You are right not want to do that. Im a girl and think that is disgusting. What lad would want to have someone else's blood on his pee pee. I dont get it. my boyfriend doesnt want to have sex with me when im on my period and im glad. I would never have sex on my period. Plus, when u know you cant have sex, it makes you dying for sex, so when the 5 days are up you will be all over each other. You shouldnt have to do anything u dont wanna do anyway. Theres ways and means around it.

I get very horny on my period, but I never act on it due to the ick factor. My current boyfriend would be mortified if I asked him to have sex on my period, as would I if he asked me. I tried it once in the shower when the guy I was with at the time was being pushy about it. If there's anything I've learnt, it's that having sex in a way you're not comfortable with is horrible. Clearly you've had a similar experience. Explain to her that she doesn't have a right to push you.

The way I usually placate the need for sex during my period is by having "pants-on" fun, or doing stuff for him (when you're that horny, giving head is extra enjoyable).

With regards to the stuff that's been said about disgustingness etc. I don't find periods disgusting. I think that the fact that the OP is willing to talk about them shows he doesn't find periods themselves disgusting either, he just feels disgusted at the thought of dipping his wick in it. Personally I think that's totally understandable, and I think he's been more than accomodating to his gf.

sam34

JajaD wrote: »

Oh my god. You are right not want to do that. Im a girl and think that is disgusting. What lad would want to have someone else's blood on his pee pee.

he could wear a condom and thus avoid getting blood on his "pee-pee"

JajaD

SNIP - please read the forum charter

dudara

Teebor15

SNIP - please read the forum charter

dudara

Fittle

Without getting too technical, heavy periods are ALOT more than 'just blood'. Saying they're 'just blood' makes it sound like a lovely red clear flow similar to what you'd get when you nick yourself shaving!!!!! I've yet to meet a woman who gets that kind of period:rolleyes:

Lady von Purple

OP, I think you need to talk to your GF about this problem. Some guys like period sex, you don't, that's fine. So you're going to need to talk to her and try to make her understand that. An idea might be comparing it to anal sex or something that she's uncomfortable with and see how she'd feel if the tables were turned and you'd asked her to do something she's not comfortable with. That's the best starting point I can think of. Oh, and of course, not while she's on her period. We do get a tad hormonal...

IrishEyes19

sam34 wrote: »

he could wear a condom and thus avoid getting blood on his "pee-pee"

Without trying to sound too graphic, as another poster said, it isnt just like a matter of cutting your finger or whatever, its would be quite messy. Especially if its like day 2 or 3.

sam34

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Without trying to sound too graphic, as another poster said, it isnt just like a matter of cutting your finger or whatever, its would be quite messy. Especially if its like day 2 or 3.

yeah its gonna be messy, of course it is, noone said otherwise.

but that doesnt bother some people.


my point about the condom was that if he had an issue specifically with blood-on-penis then that could be avoided. i wouldnt touch someone else's blood (whether it was from a simple cut or due to a period) with my bare hands but i would if i was wearing gloves.

ztoical

This thread shows there is a huge difference in opinion but like everything it is subjective....everyone assumes every guy wants to have anal sex yet I know several gay and straight who are seriously turned off by the idea, everyone thinks all girls hate anal sex and any that are really into it must be either faking to please the guy or some sort of slut. Again there are plenty of women who do hate anal and plenty who love it. Hell we've had dozens of threads on this forum from both guys and girls saying they hate giving oral sex to their partners. So lets drop the it's good, ok or disgusting argument.

sam34 wrote: »

my point about the condom was that if he had an issue specifically with blood-on-penis then that could be avoided. i wouldnt touch someone else's blood (whether it was from a simple cut or due to a period) with my bare hands but i would if i was wearing gloves.

It might not just be the sight of blood but also the smell. Even with a condom your going to find blood getting on body parts esp if your doing alot of moving. There is however alot she can do to really reduce the amount of blood and maybe make it more appealing for the OP. She is the one who wants sex during her period so if I was the OP I would have a chat and ask her to take those steps, why shouldn't she put some effort in. As mentioned before she wear instead cups/softcups during intercourse, she could try using sea sponges which would soak up alot of the blood but still allow for penetration , you could use female condoms,she can make sure to shower really well before hand though you might have to find a balance OP as cleaning out too much could dry her out and make sex painful.

It's good you want to be a good partner to your OH and that you've given something you don't find a turn on a try. If she isn't willing to listen to you or take steps to make something more enjoyable for you then you need to have a serious think about your relationship.

Fittle

D'ya know, the more I'm reading this, the more I'm thinking how hard would it be for her to go without sex for 4/5 days a month? In fairness, it probably isn't even for the whole duration of the period...the last day or two are usually quite light for most women, and using a condom on those days, would be quite the norm.

I think she's being pretty unreasonable OP...I know that I, and most women I know, would completely understand your attitude here. Not that I'm speaking for all women obviously, but having had this conversation with alot of women since I was old enough to have sex, there are alot of us who would not enjoy the Ick-factor with periods and sex.

ztoical

Fittle wrote: »

D'ya know, the more I'm reading this, the more I'm thinking how hard would it be for her to go without sex for 4/5 days a month? In fairness, it probably isn't even for the whole duration of the period...the last day or two are usually quite light for most women, and using a condom on those days, would be quite the norm.

I think she's being pretty unreasonable OP...I know that I, and most women I know, would completely understand your attitude here. Not that I'm speaking for all women obviously, but having had this conversation with alot of women since I was old enough to have sex, there are alot of us who would not enjoy the Ick-factor with periods and sex.

Some women find having sex during their period can help ease the symptoms of PMS and can find they enjoy sex more because of increased feelings of fullness in the pelvic and genital region. If the GF has had sex during her period with earlier partners and found she enjoyed it then she's not at fault for wanting to try it with her current partner however she is at fault for just demanding it and saying her other boyfriends liked so the OP should etc etc If the OP was a flat out no to the idea he would not have tired nor would he post here. He clearly wants his GF to be happy but he also needs to be happy himself. So he needs to have an open talk with his girlfriend about what she enjoys about sex during this period other then other boyfriends did it and liked it. The OP is clearly interested in pleasing his GF otherwise he never would have tired it in the first place but he needs to make sure he doesn't take away his own enjoyment. If they can reach some arrangement that makes both parties happy why not at least discuss it?

IrishEyes19

sam34 wrote: »

yeah its gonna be messy, of course it is, noone said otherwise.

but that doesnt bother some people.


my point about the condom was that if he had an issue specifically with blood-on-penis then that could be avoided. i wouldnt touch someone else's blood (whether it was from a simple cut or due to a period) with my bare hands but i would if i was wearing gloves.

Point taken, Sam34, but as I said, it wouldnt be just a little bit of blood on the penis or condom. I think it would be pretty horrific to finish up after sex and see my bf covered in my blood.

Fittle

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Point taken, Sam34, but as I said, it wouldnt be just a little bit of blood on the penis or condom. I think it would be pretty horrific to finish up after sex and see my bf covered in my blood.

And it's more than blood IrishEyes19. Much more.

Canluum

Fereemen wrote: »

But even trying to not to look, I end up covered in blood, and it's not very pleasant.

You're gonna be covered in something, it's just a different colour.

Answer is simple, compromise, turn the lights off then jump in the shower immediately after and let her do all the cleaning up (preparing towels and washing them etc.).

Fereemen wrote: »

I also find her claim that every other guy likes period sex hard to believe.

I'm fine with it, and most lads I know are fine with it too. Sure it's messy and requires a bit more effort, but sex in general is messy.

ztoical

Canluum wrote: »

You're gonna be covered in something, it's just a different colour.

Answer is simple, compromise, turn the lights off then jump in the shower immediately after and let her do all the cleaning up (preparing towels and washing them etc.)

It's not just the sight of blood it can also be the smell which is not as easy to turn off. As others have mentioned it's not the same as blood you'd get cutting yourself shaving. The blood can be a different texture and also have clots in it. I would assume the OP wants to do more then just shove his dick in and go for it. He might like to touch her and the texture of her vagina can feel different depending on what day of her cycle it is and how well she has or hasn't cleaned before hand. I assume the OP and his GF want to enjoy sex and not have a situation were they are fumbling around in the dark and the OP is jumping off her and rushing to the bathroom straight after.

The point is sex effects all your sense not just sight. There has been several posts with steps the GF can take to greatly reduce the amount of blood which might make the sex enjoyable for the OP and if it doesn't or she won't make an effort then he needs to deal with that if they come to that bridge.

IrishEyes19

Is it really such a big deal not to have vaginal sex for what - 5 days in a month at the most. There are other means of sex too.

Canluum

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Is it really such a big deal not to have vaginal sex for what - 5 days in a month at the most.

For her evidently it is.

Hmm... but I take your point, what about if the OP used a (non-penetrating) vibrator on her while she had a tampon in. It works.

Ickle Magoo

OP,

I think you have to sit your girlfriend down out-with a sexual situation and especially not when she has her period and you have to have a good honest heart to heart about this.

You are perfectly entitled not to have sex in a manner or way that you are not comfortable with and your girlfriend should be able to have her sexual needs met regardless of the time of the month so the only answer is to find a compromise you are both happy with. Would she consider wearing a tampon and being digitally or bullet stimulated? Would you be open to doing that? Or would she get a mooncup and be satisfied with orgasming without penetration? Would you be willing to meet her half-way?

There is only one way to sort out issues that keep cropping up and that's to lay your cards on the table, get her to do the same and thrash out a compromise you are both absolutely happy with.

All the best.

LegacyUser

A defo no no, its way to messy and just dont like it.