Would you be Offended?

jambon29

A good friend of mine is getting married at the end of March and i got my invite last week which is fine. The only problem is the invite was only for me and no guest. I'm single but i thought i would get the option anyway. I know people are trying to save money but i thought it was strange especially since we would be good enough friends.

albeit

Maybethey have someone in mind for you who is also invited. There is no need for them to invite you to be bring a friend. I would not be offended.

LegacyUser

I'd be delighted.

I wouldnt have to find someone to come with me, or come up with an excuse to go on my own.. Why should they invite someone they dont know? I'm sure if its a close friend you'll know plenty of people there anyway?

Elle Collins

No of course I wouldn't be offended. I'd be flattered they wanted to share their special day with me. We're in a recession and the days when people could afford to wine and dine total strangers are over.

I would however be offended if I'd been the sender of that invite and I realised it was deemed not up to scratch as far as the recipient was concerned.

seamus

No, Person + Guest is a very old fashioned thing to do and very few people nowadays do this unless the person being invited won't really know anyone else at the wedding.

Weddings are personal occasions and I would find it odd to have a complete stranger there. Person + Guest is fine if there are 500 people there including cousins you've never met and neighbours from 30 years ago. It's not really appropriate when the rest of the guests are family & good friends.

If you're worried that you won't know anyone else apart from the couple, then you can always ask them whether you can bring a specific person along. Don't just bring a randomer, make sure they know who you're proposing to bring.

dub_3

No I wouldn't be offended. If I was a relationship and they presumed I was single, then I would let them know so they could revise the invite.

Otherwise go on your own and good luck scoring a bridesmaid.

jambon29

seamus wrote: »

No, Person + Guest is a very old fashioned thing to do and very few people nowadays do this unless the person being invited won't really know anyone else at the wedding.

Weddings are personal occasions and I would find it odd to have a complete stranger there. Person + Guest is fine if there are 500 people there including cousins you've never met and neighbours from 30 years ago. It's not really appropriate when the rest of the guests are family & good friends.

If you're worried that you won't know anyone else apart from the couple, then you can always ask them whether you can bring a specific person along. Don't just bring a randomer, make sure they know who you're proposing to bring.

I know a good few going so it won't be too bad i suppose.

astra2000

No I wouldnt be offended either especially when you will know lots of other people there. I would imagine its kind of hard for the couple getting married to know which is the right way to go, if they invite you and a guest knowing you are single they may be worried that you could take that the wrong way too.
Enjoy the day!

lainey316

Nope wouldn't be offended. Nothing worse than trying to rouse up a plus one. I have had the mild embarrassment in the past of getting the + guest and having to RSVP with 'by the way, it will just be me, no guest, still single!'.

milli milli

My best friend sent me the same invite and TBH I was very offended.
The annoying thing is, if you get married, you have to invite both of them. You can't just invite one of them.

By all means, you can go on your own or with someone, but let that be your choice, not someone else's.

milli milli

lainey316 wrote: »

I have had the mild embarrassment in the past of getting the + guest and having to RSVP with 'by the way, it will just be me, no guest, still single!'.

You can bring a friend

wylo

i genuinely think they would be doing that for your own sake.seeing as you say ye are good friends. I could be wrong but I know from personal experience that its an awkward one,im single and my mate (who i only see from time to time) was getting married. We were drinking at the stag and it was only then when he asked me whether I wanted a plus one or not, and he admitted he wasnt sure because he knows how much hassle it is to be getting plus 1s when your single.

For you , its even more the case, as in, if your mutual friends are all going to be there and are getting their own invites then they probably dont see the point.
I wouldnt be too offended but they should have really asked you prior to sending the invite.

Jack B. Badd

milli milli wrote: »

The annoying thing is, if you get married, you have to invite both of them. You can't just invite one of them.

Presumably in that case you would be inviting 2 people you already know rather than one person you know and an unspecified "plus one" who could be some randommer of the street as far as you're concerned. Two very different things, especially given the cost per head of weddings & the current economy. What a tit-for-tat attitude...

By all means, you can go on your own or with someone, but let that be your choice, not someone else's.

That "someone else" is paying for you. Let it be their choice whether they should pay for you to have a guest, it's their money. And, quite frankly, their wedding. Let them invite who they please, whether that's due to personal preference or number constraints or whatever.

LegacyUser

Jack B. Badd wrote: »

Presumably in that case you would be inviting 2 people you already know rather than one person you know and an unspecified "plus one" who could be some randommer of the street as far as you're concerned.

Not necessarily true, I've had to attend several weddings with my OH when I'd never met either of the people getting married. While I suppose it was good of them to invite me as well, I'd much rather have saved all the extra money and let OH decide if he wanted to go on his own or not.

I once turned down a "single" wedding invitation simply because the ONLY people I knew were the bride & groom. As a very quiet person I could only see it being a miserable day for me. I was slightly offended at the time, especially as I was seeing someone and they'd both met him.

zxcvbnm1

Jack B. Badd wrote: »

Presumably in that case you would be inviting 2 people you already know rather than one person you know and an unspecified "plus one" who could be some randommer of the street as far as you're concerned. Two very different things, especially given the cost per head of weddings & the current economy. What a tit-for-tat attitude...


That "someone else" is paying for you. Let it be their choice whether they should pay for you to have a guest, it's their money. And, quite frankly, their wedding. Let them invite who they please, whether that's due to personal preference or number constraints or whatever.

+1 a thousand times. Not sure what the earlier poster wad about.

I have been single for years and I have always only been asked by myself to weddings. So what's the problem? I have never seen an issue with it.
As for the ops post how " I suppose it will be ok" because you will know other people there. How needy are you?
It's a day out drinking pints. Of course it will be fine. I really don't see why you have such a negative attitude to turning up tp a wedding by yourself.

greenprincess

I wouldnt be insulted. Have a great time at the wedding

sam34

not at all. there'll be plenty others there that you know, so i really dont see what the issue is.

its not like you're going to a wedding where you know the bride/groom and noone else.

lainey316

milli milli wrote: »

You can bring a friend

But I already have friends at the wedding. Why bring another person that they don't know that I then have to look after? Don't see the point. Like i said it was *mild* embarrassment - and it's related to not having a partner, not being unable to drag some random friend along.

Ms2011

No, I'm sure there was no offence meant plus it will leave you free to mingle guilt free without having to entertain your guest who probably won't know too may other people there.

Cgoodie

Every wedding I've been asked to it's pretty much been an "and guest" invite. I'm a singleton for many's a year and never bothered bringing the + 1 - and didn't bother making excuses on the reply card just replied that I shall be attending.

It can be daunting going to a wedding full of strangers most of the 1s I was at were family 1s so I knew a lot at it but I've gone to others only knowing a small few at it. I think it can be a hassle bringing a + 1 particularly if they don't know anyone there as you can end up looking after them for the night.

I have to say I think I would be a little bit miffed for about for awhile if I got an invite with no + 1 on it. But it is their day and it's up to them who they want to invite.

lordgoat

So you're friends invite you to their wedding and you're wondering whether you should be upset that you can't bring some randomer with you?

Why would you expect them to foot the bill for someone they have to put with and feed on their wedding day?

Bizzarre the expectations some people have.

Were you in a serious relationship with someone then maybe you'd have a case.

AnneElizabeth

Maybe they thought they were doing you a favour and didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable by being obliged to bring a guest? Unless you like someone and wanted an excuse to ask them out, I think it's much easier to go alone. And you have an excuse if anyone asks you why you're alone. Presumably if they're good friends you're going to know loads of people there anyways?
Even if they just didn't want to pay for an extra person, it's not that big of a deal is it? If they knew them it would be different.

thebigleap

milli milli wrote: »

My best friend sent me the same invite and TBH I was very offended.
The annoying thing is, if you get married, you have to invite both of them. You can't just invite one of them.

By all means, you can go on your own or with someone, but let that be your choice, not someone else's.

That's a very entitled and selfish attitude. The bride and groom have the right to decide who they want at their wedding. After all, they're the ones paying for it. If money is tight or even if they don't want strangers at their wedding, it's their wedding, their choice. Why would that be an issue for anyone else?

If the OP was in a relationship, that's a different matter, but who exactly is getting hurt by not being invited??

milli milli

Jack B. Badd wrote: »

Presumably in that case you would be inviting 2 people you already know rather than one person you know and an unspecified "plus one" who could be some randommer of the street as far as you're concerned. Two very different things, especially given the cost per head of weddings & the current economy. What a tit-for-tat attitude...

I may not necessarily know or even like the persons husband/wife but they would have to be invited. It is courteous to have a +1. I would hate for any guest of mine to feel awkward.
If the guest feels it's a hassle to find a +1 then they can go on their own.

That "someone else" is paying for you. Let it be their choice whether they should pay for you to have a guest, it's their money. And, quite frankly, their wedding. Let them invite who they please, whether that's due to personal preference or number constraints or whatever.

that 'someone else' will also get a good wedding gift that will more than likely amply pay for the meal. And most wedding guests are people the bride and groom feel they have to invite, eg old uncle Joe whom they never see or even know. They are not neccessarily people they want to be there.

thebigleap

milli milli wrote: »

that 'someone else' will also get a good wedding gift that will more than likely amply pay for the meal. And most wedding guests are people the bride and groom feel they have to invite, eg old uncle Joe whom they never see or even know. They are not neccessarily people they want to be there.

Ah yes, the wedding gift because that's what matters, isn't it? I don't think so. Actually there are no guarantees when it comes to wedding gifts.....not everyone is generous or thoughtful on that score.

Inviting family (whether you like them or not) is different from inviting a stranger you've never seen before and will never see again. Why? Because they're family! The same goes for friends....love them or hate them, they're part of your life.....

Again, it's the bride and groom's big day so they should be able to invite who they want. The only choice the invited guest needs to worry about is whether they want to attend or not.

LegacyUser

TBH I hate modern weddings. It's ok to take out a small mortgage for the 'Big Day' but then acceptable to invite people on their own.

Traditional weddings always had +guest on the invites. Maybe it's ok if you know the bride and groom really well and you know there will be loads of guests on their own or people you know. But inviting a guest on their own when they will Know no-one at the wedding can only be construed as rude.

Sure the bride and groom can invite who they want. But making their guest feel like a spare is just thoughtless.

thebigleap

thebigleap wrote: »

If the OP was in a relationship, that's a different matter

If it is an intimate wedding then, and everyone is in the same boat...that is one thing.
Weddings are often long dull days. You have no guarantee that people will or can be sociable.
To expect a person to suffer through without the option of bringing company, just because they are single. When OH's who the couple might equally not know or see again, are invited. Is insulting and inconsiderate.

OP, you seem to know people going. I think your friends should have told you in person. Maybe your a sociable character and they didn't forsee any difficulty for you.

LegacyUser

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

It's a day out drinking pints. Of course it will be fine. I really don't see why you have such a negative attitude to turning up tp a wedding by yourself.

Typical Irish answer. Just get p!ssed. I often wonder what the country would be like if we didn't have this laissez faire attitude to drink.

What happens if you don't drink? I can imagine a pretty long day.

thebigleap

Alittlelessconversation wrote: »

TBH I hate modern weddings. It's ok to take out a small mortgage for the 'Big Day' but then acceptable to invite people on their own.

But inviting a guest on their own when they will Know no-one at the wedding can only be construed as rude.
Sure the bride and groom can invite who they want. But making their guest feel like a spare is just thoughtless.

Yes, it would be incredibly rude and insulting to be invited 'solo' to a wedding where you won't know anyone. I wouldn't blame anyone for being offended in that situation. However, since the OP says he knows other people, I don't see the problem. The bride/groom want him to be there and obviously think he'll be fine on his own. He is not going to be a 'spare' if he has friends there that he can hang out with. From my experience, guests mingle with each other, so I'm not sure why you think a single guest is going to be alone just because he doesn't have a partner.

As for the bride/groom taking out mortgages to pay for their weddings, well that's their business, since they'e the ones paying for it they're entitled to plan their wedding their way.

Yes, people have to invite couples, even if they don't know the OH's, what else do you suggest the bride/groom do?

Typical Irish answer. Just get p!ssed. I often wonder what the country would be like if we didn't have this laissez faire attitude to drink.

I can assure you Americans get drunk at weddings too, it's not just an Irish thing. Sometimes the parties go on in the hotel rooms long after the wedding is over, so drink is very much a part of the wedding event here as well.

Whether you stay sober or drink yourself into oblivion, bringing a friend doesn't guarantee you that you're going to have a good time. Even the most funloving of friends can find it hard to get into the spirit of things when they are faced with an endless day of strangers ignoring them. At least if you go alone, you only have yourself to worry about....

whatdoicare

The etiquette for invitations is:
Must invite couples who are long term/married/engaged
Don't have to invite OH if:
new relationship/not long term/not engaged or married

Single persons don't have to get a plus one as the general thinking is to place singles at the same table to mingle.

(This is from an etiquette book I was given - so AFAIK, this is the way to go with invites.)
Invitations are a tricky business for the bride and groom, I still have nightmares about it to this day!!:eek: Just go and enjoy yourself, the couple invited you and you should be honored as I'm sure they are limited on money and space!

LegacyUser

I had a situation like that many years ago. My partner wasn't invited to the wedding of a lifelong friend of mine. I was highly insulted and didn't go. The net result was a rift in the relationship and the friendship has never been the same. What I didn't realise at the time was that it was a small wedding (only about 50 guests in total) and they were trying to keep the numbers down. I should have put two and two together but didn't. I really regret not going. In hindsight it was a slap in the face to the couple - and especially to my friend the groom - who had good reasons for doing what they did.

Maybe this couple are the same. Be careful before you turn the invitation down - you might damage your friendship beyond repair, as I did.

RedRoseMafia

Be careful wrote: »

I had a situation like that many years ago. My partner wasn't invited to the wedding of a lifelong friend of mine. I was highly insulted and didn't go. The net result was a rift in the relationship and the friendship has never been the same. What I didn't realise at the time was that it was a small wedding (only about 50 guests in total) and they were trying to keep the numbers down. I should have put two and two together but didn't. I really regret not going. In hindsight it was a slap in the face to the couple - and especially to my friend the groom - who had good reasons for doing what they did.

Your situation is completely different from the OP's: an established couple is a unit - if you don't invite one, you offend both. You had every right to be offended, your partner was dissed by you lifelong friend, and the least your friend could have done was call you beforehand to explain the situation to both you and your partner. the fact they were short of money doesn't excuse their rudeness; an explanation would probably have made all the difference, right?

A slap in the face for the couple? Their OWN doing! What about the slap in the face to you? If you had gone to the wedding, you would have been disloyal to your partner (unless he insisted you go) and you would probably have spent the day feeling bad about leaving him at home.

You shouldn't feel guilty now about your reaction then, I think most people would do what you did in the same situation.

silvervixen84

I wouldn't be offended at all. I'm single and attending my friend's wedding on Friday. I wasn't offered a +1 option and it wasn't even an issue. It's not meant to be a dig at you for being single, like other posters said, it's probably about keeping numbers down.

Try not to dwell on it and enjoy the day with your friends. Many future +1s result from weddings anyway!

Riskymove

tbh I think this is a situation where people cannot win sometimes

some people may be offended by not getting a '+1' as they dont like the idea of going alone

other people may get offended/worried about how to handle it by getting '+1' when they are single

in this particular case OP,i think the missing info is how they have approached things generally, have they done the same to all single friends etc

some people have cost/numbers issues and need to be ruthless about +1s....I know a teacher in a school with a lot of teachers who says the usual practice is they invite everyone without '+1' as the numbers would be too high

fifomania

I would love that, got an invite for a wedding including a guest and I have no-one to ask. Nightmare!

EricPraline

RedRoseMafia wrote: »

If you had gone to the wedding, you would have been disloyal to your partner (unless he insisted you go) and you would probably have spent the day feeling bad about leaving him at home..

Attending a small intimate wedding without your partner is being "disloyal"? Slight use of hyperbole there. Not everyone would share your idea that splitting a couple for a day is like surgically separating Siamese twins.

It's remarkable the sense of entitlement from some people who expect their +1s to be automatically accommodated without hesitation, and seek to find massive offense if they're not accommodated.

Frankly speaking, if the wedding is going to be such an intolerable chore for a guest, they should probably make their excuses and decline the invitation.

spinandscribble

if i was known as single i'd be relieved not to be given a plus 1. I don't think its anything to get your knickers in a twist about.

remembering

milli milli wrote: »

My best friend sent me the same invite and TBH I was very offended.
The annoying thing is, if you get married, you have to invite both of them. You can't just invite one of them.

By all means, you can go on your own or with someone, but let that be your choice, not someone else's.

hi all

I totally agree with the above post and i was just about to start a topic on this when I spotted this post. a very good friend of mine is getting married soon and the invites should be out shortly. Im single and to be honest I will be totally Pi**ed off if i dont get and guest. I think its so unfair just because you are single, you are treated like a leper and have to end up sitting at the table on your own surrounded by couples. i will be sayin as much to her if i dont get and guest on the invite also!. a wedding is a long enough day as it is to be on your own!!. someone told me before that this happened to her and they ended up putting the poor girl sitting at at childrens table!!! how bad was that!!. As someone said in a post here, the expectations some people have, i dont agree with that statement at all. so what if the bride and groom dont know your guest, i really dont see what that has got to do with it and the expense on them. thats just crap as if you were going out with someone/married etc they would have to put 2 names on the invite.. thats my rant anyway on the topic.. cant wait for the invite now!!!!!!!!!!

remembering

whatdoicare wrote: »

The etiquette for invitations is:
Must invite couples who are long term/married/engaged
Don't have to invite OH if:
new relationship/not long term/not engaged or married

Single persons don't have to get a plus one as the general thinking is to place singles at the same table to mingle.

(This is from an etiquette book I was given - so AFAIK, this is the way to go with invites.)
Invitations are a tricky business for the bride and groom, I still have nightmares about it to this day!!:eek: Just go and enjoy yourself, the couple invited you and you should be honored as I'm sure they are limited on money and space!

what if there are no other singles at the wedding? do you sit at a table on your own!!!!!!!! i just dont agree with that at all. it makes me mad to be honest.....

whatdoicare

remembering wrote: »

what if there are no other singles at the wedding? do you sit at a table on your own!!!!!!!! i just dont agree with that at all. it makes me mad to be honest.....

Don't be stupid- you really think there'll be only ONE single at a wedding? At mine we had a whole table full - they had a great time! They all made friends with each other on facebook after the day!
(BTW there is no culture of kiddies tables in Ireland, kids sit with their family)
If you are offended don't go - it's not your big day and it's not about you. We're in a recession, the days of adding people to a guest list willy nilly are long gone.

RedRoseMafia

EricPraline wrote: »

Attending a small intimate wedding without your partner is being "disloyal"? Slight use of hyperbole there. Not everyone would share your idea that splitting a couple for a day is like surgically separating Siamese twins.

It's remarkable the sense of entitlement from some people who expect their +1s to be automatically accommodated without hesitation, and seek to find massive offense if they're not accommodated.

Frankly speaking, if the wedding is going to be such an intolerable chore for a guest, they should probably make their excuses and decline the invitation.

Oh please. You completely missed the point of my post. This was not JUST a plus one, he was a committed partner. THAT is different, If a lifelong friend doesn't invite your partner to his wedding without explanantion, then what are you going to assume? That he doesn't like or approve of your partner or he doesn't think he's important enough to attend. That's an insult to both. If my husband wasn't invited to a wedding of a lifelong friend then I wouldn't go either. My husband is far more important to me than any friend and I would consider it a slap in the face to him if I chose to go to a wedding of a couple who snubbed him for no obvious reason. Now if they called and explained their situation beforehand, I would certainly understand and appreciate the heads up. The key here is lifelong friend and committed partner.

You may not like it but commited couples are expected to be invited together, it's extremely rude to invite one and omit the other. That's not entitlement, that's wedding etiquette and has been done this way for eons. Maybe you can start a new trend at your wedding: just invite your friends and omit their OH's, and see how that works out for you.

FWIW I agree that the OP shouldn't be offended that he was invited without a guest and he should go and enjoy himself. No partner, no offense.

thebigleap

remembering wrote: »

hi all

Im single and to be honest I will be totally Pi**ed off if i dont get and guest. I think its so unfair just because you are single, you are treated like a leper and have to end up sitting at the table on your own surrounded by couples. i will be sayin as much to her if i dont get and guest on the invite also!

That would be a very rude thing to do. The wedding couple are entitled to invite who they want; how do you know their situation? You have NO right to question them on how they plan their wedding. If you don't want to go alone, then don't go, simple as that. You are not entitled to two invitations.....

so what if the bride and groom dont know your guest, i really dont see what that has got to do with it and the expense on them.

Huh? It has everything to do with them since they're paying for the wedding!

thats just crap as if you were going out with someone/married etc they would have to put 2 names on the invite..

Yeah, that's because there's two people to invite. What's your point again?

Jack B. Badd

remembering wrote: »

so what if the bride and groom dont know your guest, i really dont see what that has got to do with it and the expense on them. thats just crap as if you were going out with someone/married etc they would have to put 2 names on the invite.

Ah sure in that case, why stop at the "plus one"? Make it an open invite so they can bring half a dozen of their mates. Sure it's only money! And we all know how easy it is to spend other people's money...

kevin99

Being single I've received several invitations to weddings of family and friends and was never given the option of bringing a guest.

On more than one occasion the grooms said there would be plenty of single women at the wedding which I found quite insulting. I mean at least have the manners to allow me bring a friend if I want to do that.

In relation to the economy and the cost of weddings I would say to couples if you don't want your single friends to bring a +1 then don't invite them at all.

There is northing worse than to be seated at a table for 10, with four couples, and two singles, usually two men seated there too. And I have always been asked after the introductions are made:Where is your other half or better half? I used say I don't have another half, I'm single. Now I say well actually she wasn't invited. Tut, tut.

kevin99

Forgot to mention earlier. I was at a wedding last October. KNew a few people but not many. I was told in advance that money was tight, hence invitation for myself and no friend.
There must have been in excess of 100 guests, including all of the bride and groom's hockey and football colleagues and their OHs.
They both like to be liked and to show how popular they are by stating how many friends they have.
I was very surprised given the groom went on at me about the cost of the whole thing.
And many of the people invited didn't attend the church that Sat lunchtime because they were playing hockey or footie and instead turned up at the hotel, changed into their suits and just about made it for the meal.
I later discovered the couple had invited a barman who never showed up.
I met the couple for drinks at xmas and they moaned about people who showed up late, the barman who never attended and the fact that relations never rsvp'd and didn't come either meaning the couple had to pay for those meals as it was too late to cancel.

And I said to myself, I could have brought a friend and it would have cost them less than €100.

sam34

remembering wrote: »

so what if the bride and groom dont know your guest, i really dont see what that has got to do with it

maybe the bride and groom dont want a total stranger at their wedding, maybe they only want to share it with family and friends, not randomers.

its not rocket science.

remembering

sam34 wrote: »

maybe the bride and groom dont want a total stranger at their wedding, maybe they only want to share it with family and friends, not randomers.

its not rocket science.

yeah i know its not rocket science and i think its a bit unfair to say randomers, its not like im going to be inviting along 20 people!!! Im one of her best friends and anyway ive decided i wont say anything if i dont get "and guest", i just think it would be nice to bring someone along as i personally think its unfair on single people just because they are not married etc not to get and guest on the invite.. i guess we all have different opinions on the subject.
As i said before if i was married, going out with someone for a while then i would be getting and guest so i really dont see why its different.. i know im repeating myself but this is my point of view!!!!!

solovely

Have to say I agree with the OP to a certain extent, even though I know, as a single person, I won't be invited to any weddings this year with a +1 because I'm single.

Personally, it doesn't annoy me as I wouldn't bring anyone as I'm confident enough o go on my own, but the principle does slightly. People keep saying that's it's expense on the couple having the wedding - eh hello, it's a lot more expnsive on the single person who is invited sans guest....hotel room for one (usually for 2 nights), present from one, petrol, drinks, etc....weddings are damn expensive, and most of the time the couple make it back on presents themselves (or at least don't lose out moneywise by having a +1 along), but that's not why so much it annoys me.

It's just the inability of most people in couples over a certain age to put themselves in the predicament of a single person at a wedding. Think it definitely differs with age. But a lot of 30+s as a wedding will be almost the only single person there (I'm bridesmaid at a wedding this year and there will be NO single men there)...if you are any way shy or self-conscious about being single, how awkward and embarrassed would you feel being at a table alone surrounded by couples (even if these couples are your friends)....and remember weddings are all about love and couples. It's a tough day for a lot of single people.

Also, saying couples don't want randomers at their weddings is BS, and another show of lack of respect for single people. Especially as we get older, a lot of marrying couples won't have met the significant others of quite a few guests, but they automatically get an invite cos they are "an item". Lots of single people have best single friends who (perhaps as they become older and everyone else settles down) can become a proxy partner for all other events except weddings (holidays, weekends away, parties, etc)....cos they are not "in love", they don't make the invite list.

Whoa, I didn't mean to go on such a rant....and as I said, personally I'd prefer to go alone than have the hassle of finding someone to bring, but I would prefer to be given the same respect and equal status that all my friends who have the "joy" of being in a relationship have been given.... Am I a lesser person cos I'm single...I definitely think not.

Funny example to cheer ye up....at a friend's wedding a couple of years ago, the couple actually did this....think how insensitive it was to all us singles (I thought it was funny)...in seating plan all couples listed as John & Mary, Paddy & Ann, etc. while single then listed as first and surname Sarah Ryan, Joe Murphy, etc.....as in a big sign saying "spot the sad singles"!!

A little bit of cop on and respect every now and then would be nice...

Silverfish

I'm planning a wedding for next year, and I have 40 or so cousins, however many aunts & uncles, so my guest list would be at 120 people before I invite ANY of my friends.

If I gave all my cousins +1 invitations, I would be inviting 40 extra people ( at an extra cost of 1800 or so euro, for people I don't really know) so my only option is not to invite any of them at all.
I grew up with most of them, close friends with a lot of them, but I can't invite one from a family and not invite siblings and +1's.

So maybe the couple want you there, but can't afford to invite +1 for EVERYONE.

If I didn't want to go to a wedding on my own, I'd just decline the invitation. It's not like it's jury duty, you either want to be there, or you don't, really.

milli milli

solovely wrote: »

Funny example to cheer ye up....at a friend's wedding a couple of years ago, the couple actually did this....think how insensitive it was to all us singles (I thought it was funny)...in seating plan all couples listed as John & Mary, Paddy & Ann, etc. while single then listed as first and surname Sarah Ryan, Joe Murphy, etc.....as in a big sign saying "spot the sad singles"!!

A little bit of cop on and respect every now and then would be nice...

Maybe the couples should be split up and put at different tables, just to see what it's like for a single person attending a wedding!

milli milli

kevin99 wrote: »

Where is your other half or better half? I used say I don't have another half, I'm single. Now I say well actually she wasn't invited. Tut, tut.

Well if someone asked me, "Where's my 'other half'?" I would reply, "I don't have an 'other half'. I'm a full person myself, thanks very much!"

I really hate that term 'other half'. :mad: