Will i ask??

LegacyUser

Hey peoples, not a major prob here just want a second opinion. There is this girl i like in work who i asked out at the start of december and she said she couldnt cause she was seeing someone and was a pity i didnt ask earlier and that she might take me up on the offer in a while.

Anyways i have found out that she has recently stopped seeing this guy and there over the weekend she sent me an internal email in work, which was work related but then she started having a conversation with me i.e how was your weekend and that and she was keeping the talk going the whole day through work

Question is should i ask her again???I asked her once already so she knows i like her and she did say that she might take me up on it in a few weeks but should the guy ask again????

Help Please

Yes.

Short answer, but it's the best one.

IrishEyes19

Im probably alone in this, but I find it kind of insulting that a person would actually say, I might take you up on that in a while.

firstly why should you consider yourself to be second best and also dont like the idea that she's using you as a backup if the first guy doesnt work out. I dont like that at all.

Ask her out away if you really like her. But Id be worried she'd do this with someone else if they came along too.

Monkey Allen

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Im probably alone in this, but I find it kind of insulting that a person would actually say, I might take you up on that in a while.

firstly why should you consider yourself to be second best and also dont like the idea that she's using you as a backup if the first guy doesnt work out. I dont like that at all.

Ask her out away if you really like her. But Id be worried she'd do this with someone else if they came along too.

Fair comment but she's obviously not the cheating type which is a plus. Ask her out, see how it goes.

She might have been in the early stages when its 'not really a relationship' and so is allowed to be unsure about things at that point. Anyway, I'm guessing the OP might have misquoted her.

dub_3

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Im probably alone in this, but I find it kind of insulting that a person would actually say, I might take you up on that in a while.

firstly why should you consider yourself to be second best and also dont like the idea that she's using you as a backup if the first guy doesnt work out. I dont like that at all.

Ask her out away if you really like her. But Id be worried she'd do this with someone else if they came along too.

Doesn't sound to me like she views the OP as second best or a backup.

It's simply that he had bad timing.
maybe she gave her current one last chance and he didn't deliver,
and / or she was taking her time to properly end one relationship before starting another.

@ OP I suggest you ask her if she is single, rather than relying on what you may have heard third hand.

Use her reply to that to judge if it is appropriate to ask her out.

Peanut2011

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Im probably alone in this, but I find it kind of insulting that a person would actually say, I might take you up on that in a while.

Op, most are saying go for it, but I agree with above! You have expressed that you liked her, she knows about it. Going back again would make you look desperate IMO.

If she likes you she will come to you as you already asked her out!

Corkblowin

Peanut2011 wrote: »

If she likes you she will come to you as you already asked her out!

She has come back - she kept an email conversation going for the day which I sense from the OP was an unusual occurrence.

However rather than ask straight out if shes single yet (which may sound like you've been hanging around waiting for her - not cool! ) Maybe do something like ask a lighthearted question about what shes getting her OH for valentines etc.....give her the chance to tell you shes single.

Theres a good chance are she'd feel awkward coming to you to say shes single - that can come across needy too!

Tis complicated stuff!!:)

LegacyUser

dub_3 wrote: »

Doesn't sound to me like she views the OP as second best or a backup.

It's simply that he had bad timing.
maybe she gave her current one last chance and he didn't deliver,
and / or she was taking her time to properly end one relationship before starting another.

Exactly.

I've been in this position fairly recently, where someone asked me out, I was seeing someone casually, but it wasn't going anywhere and hadn't been for a long time. When he asked me out, I was surprised and flattered that he liked me, but didn't want to just jump from one to the other (out of respect from them both). A few months later, though, we started going out, and I'm really happy that he asked me out!

OP, it sounds like the girl is putting the feelers out to gauge if you're still interested in asking her out... go for it! It doesn't mean you're second best, just that it was wrong place, wrong time. Now, it could be right place, right time. You've nothing to lose!

LegacyUser

DEINITELY ASK

Monkey Allen

Peanut2011 wrote: »

Op, most are saying go for it, but I agree with above! You have expressed that you liked her, she knows about it. Going back again would make you look desperate IMO.

If she likes you she will come to you as you already asked her out!

No it wont. It would look like he's really interested. Looking desperate would be getting rejected from her and then asking all her mates out.