So sad and confused

LegacyUser

Hey
My boyfriend has just cheated on me with a mutual friend of ours...He was out of his mind drunk at the time with a few of our friends (I was working early the next morning) and says he didn't know what he was doing, he's cried and pleaded with me...I think he really loves me we've talked about marriage and children...He means absolutely everything to me.
I could forgive him but before we were official, when we were practically official, he kissed two other friends of mine in the space of two months..(always when off his face drunk) I've had such trust issues regarding this and was just getting over them..

I'm so confused I feel I have to stand up for myself and break up with him> I do believe he loves me but its so hard wondering will he meet somebody and cheat. The fact it was with another mutual friend has devastated me I dont know where I stand in my group anymore.
I gave up a job in Paris to be with him

I've been crying all day I feel like my world has ended and I dont know how to pick up the pieces...How do I even begin to get the strength to end things with him? I know how devastated he will be and how much I'll miss him..He's my world

Wurly

You simply have to break up with him, OP. You will never be able to trust this man. He has abused your trust 3 times.

Life is far too short to put up with this bull****.

Staying with someone you cant trust is hell. He doesn't deserve you. It's just not worth staying in. You didn't create this mess - he did.

I'm sorry. Yes it will be tough breaking up. However, in the long run, staying with him will be harder. Get out.

Best of luck.x

Cheap Thrills!

Being drunk is no excuse. If he can't control himself, which he can't, then he should not be getting drunk.

He has shamed you in front of all your friends, dump him and dump the girl who did it too and make sure all your friends ostracise them both and stick by you.

It shows that he is eyeing up all your mates all the time and if you stay with him he will keep doing it.

kjl

One year sober, that's my answer. If he loves you, this should be the way for him to prove it too you. If he can't control himself while drunk then he should not be drinking.

EllieB

Hey OP,

I could have written that post a few years ago except I was engaged to the man who cheated on me with a friend and had cheated twice earlier in the relationship as well.

Unfortunately, I wasn't strong enough to end it as the third time it happened it was 9 months to the wedding and we were half way through building our house. Of course I had serious doubts and trust issues but felt I had too much to lose by walking away. He was my whole world and I couldn't contemplate my life without him.

Fast forward to 4 years of marriage and I'm now seperated from this man. It was always there in the backround. And although I told myself, and him, that I had forgiven him, I never truly did and certainly never forgot. Eventually it just got too much for me and every little row burned another bit of my love for him into something ashy.

Sorry for rambling but I guess my point is, everyone deserves a second chance. But a third, fourth and fifth chance??? I'm so embaressed that I was that much of a mug....... please don't you be one too. You can do so much better and there are men out there that don't behave so dispicably!!

Miss Fluff

Being pissed then is an excuse for him to behave as abominably as he pleases? Does that give you carte blanche to overdo it on the cocktails and carry on as if you're single? So if you went out and shagged a mutual friend and told him you only did it because your drunk (having scored two of his friends before) what do you honestly think he'd do? I don't know him but I'd take bets on him giving you your marching orders. That's exactly what you should do. Talk is cheap and the promise of wedding bells is a meaningless one if you can't swear that he wouldn't try and cop off with one of the bridesmaids when "off his face drunk" :eek:

Get rid girl.

Gunslinger92

I have to agree with everyone saying to get rid of him, OP, I'm sorry

I know it's hardly what you want to hear, but think about it, if you forgive him, won't this always be in the back of your mind?

I despise people using being drunk as an excuse for cheating. It is pure fcuking bullsh!t.

He doesn't deserve you, so send him packing. It will be hard of course, but you'll get through it.

Good luck.

Firetrap

Agreed with the others. He has a track record of cheating. I don't buy the kissing other people before you were 'official'. If he cared for you enough back then, he would not have had eyes for any other women.

If you stay with him, the doubt which is running through your mind will really get in on you and wear you down.

ABajaninCork

Blimey! You poor thing - with 'friends' like these, who needs 'em?

Sack then both off. You deserve better.

Sending *hugs* to you, and the best of luck whatever you decide.

Monkey Allen

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

dump him and dump the girl who did it too and make sure all your friends ostracise them both and stick by you.

Ok, I agree with breaking up with him, but dont expect your friends to simply dump them as friends also. People will choose who they wish to hang out with. It might seem like the right thing to do but its your situation, not theirs. If you expect that from them, be prepared to be disappointed.

However, that shouldn't be your priority. Break up with this wimp who relies on your forgiveness to get him out of this hole everytime he's in it. Your mutual friend deservers no forgiveness either.

Good luck with this.

Distorted

Dump him, run for the hills and don't look back!

booboo88

i love the way you define her as a friend, good riddance to both i say