Akwardess with girl

LegacyUser

We were all on a night out with work and we were all talking about which member of the class we would sleep with. I stupidly told a girl who is my best friend in college that out of the girls in the class I would sleep with her, I meant it as a compliment but it came out wrong. When we returned to college I thought she had forgotten about it untill she brought it up again, I told her I dont fancy her and wouldnt try it in with her and she laughed about it. The next day she called me for a chat and we were laughing away however lately shes been avoiding me and not talking as much. I told her I prefer her as a friend, because I thought it woud make her uncomfortable if she thought i fancy her. I simply meant I find her attractive. why is she acting this way ?

LegacyUser

Because she probably fancied you and was upset when you told her you only wanted to be friends.

LegacyUser

Yeah she probably did fancy you and is now pissed off with you.

I was with a good friend of mine last summer who I'd liked for years, we were both hammered when it happened, he told me he liked me, I was obviously delighted cos I really liked him.

Turned out he was just drunk when he said that, he didn't fancy me at all and just wanted to be friends. I was obviously very annoyed at this as he could have picked up any girl if that's all he wanted!!

Anyway my point is I was very annoyed with him for months but didn't want to make a big deal of it so I just avoided him big time for ages. Slightly back on track now but I still hate the fact he did this.

I know you didn't actually sleep with her but even saying that to her would make it hard for her if she likes you!!

TALK TO HER!

Akward john

Hey its the op i just registered to make things easier

Great advice so far thanks. she did ask me for sexy pictures beforeso maybe she does like me. were it gets complicated is i sort of like her but I dont like to admit it but it came out when I was drunk but im afraid of ruining the friendship thats why i told her i didnt fancy her

Im stupid I know.

LegacyUser

Akward john wrote: »

Hey its the op i just registered to make things easier

Great advice so far thanks. she did ask me for sexy pictures beforeso maybe she does like me. were it gets complicated is i sort of like her but I dont like to admit it but it came out when I was drunk but im afraid of ruining the friendship thats why i told her i didnt fancy her

Im stupid I know.

I'm not going to go down the route of telling you that's stupid (though it is!).

I honestly think you should ask her to meet you for a drink and tell her then. You're already friends so there shouldn't be any awkwardness about asking her to meet you for a drink.

Like worst case scenario she doesn't fancy you and there's some other reason she's behaving as she is. I really think she does though, and I think you owe her an explanation for what you've said anyway. These things WRECK GIRLS HEADS.

I'm currently very tempted to tell a guy I really like him, very nervous about it but I don't want to never do it and regret it. Rejection will be hard if that's what happens but this time next year I won't even remember it, it's worth the risk!

Akward john

Givingadvice wrote: »

I'm not going to go down the route of telling you that's stupid (though it is!).

I honestly think you should ask her to meet you for a drink and tell her then. You're already friends so there shouldn't be any awkwardness about asking her to meet you for a drink.

Like worst case scenario she doesn't fancy you and there's some other reason she's behaving as she is. I really think she does though, and I think you owe her an explanation for what you've said anyway. These things WRECK GIRLS HEADS.

I'm currently very tempted to tell a guy I really like him, very nervous about it but I don't want to never do it and regret it. Rejection will be hard if that's what happens but this time next year I won't even remember it, it's worth the risk!

Thanks for the reply I know im being stupid, i told her i didnt fancy her because I didnt think she liked me and didnt want her to feel akward. I thought she might be avoiding me because she thought I liked her and she didnt want to give me the impression she liked me. i know girls do that sometimes!

ps maybe your friend does like you but didnt want to ruin the friendship

dub_3

My reading of your post is that you have told her in turn

that you would sleep with her
that you don't fancy her
you prefer her as a friend
you do find her attractive

My suggestion is to arrange to meet her somewhere quiet, maybe over coffee.
And to apologise for all of the above.

Tell her that you do find her attractive and that you also value her as a friend.
Then tell her if she finds you attractive that you'd like to be more than just friends.

If she doesn't find you attractive, then you can go back to being friends, but without any confusion as to who fancies who now.

LegacyUser

Akward john wrote: »

Thanks for the reply I know im being stupid, i told her i didnt fancy her because I didnt think she liked me and didnt want her to feel akward. I thought she might be avoiding me because she thought I liked her and she didnt want to give me the impression she liked me. i know girls do that sometimes!

ps maybe your friend does like you but didnt want to ruin the friendship

I would doubt very much if that's why she's avoiding you. I suppose everyone is different but I couldn't see myself avoiding someone who told me they fancied me, I'd be far more likely to actually discuss it properly with them where the person involved is a friend and if I didn't feel the same the awkwardness could be put to bed there and then. It would generally be more awkward if it was just someone from the same social circle, but as you said ye're great friends I can't see her avoiding you over in case you think she fancies you.

You really need to talk to her before too much time passes and things get more awkward. As I said I'd be very surprised if she doesnt fancy you so just go for it!

P.p.s. I definitely don't think my friend fancies me!! He's very shy so I initially thought the whole sober thoughts drunken words thing may have been the case and there was some hope but something would have happened by now if it was going to. This was about 6 months ago like! If anything he was avoiding me more than me him at the time! I still fancy him like, but such is life!

Akward john

Well shes still avoiding me in person but calling me to find out a password for a certain computer in work ect,but to give a update i found out she has a boyfriend which i didnt know. im happy being friends with her but if she keeps avoiding me i wont make the effort to be friends again. the boyfriend thing makes it doubtful she fancies me.

Akward john

dub_3 wrote: »

My reading of your post is that you have told her in turn

that you would sleep with her
that you don't fancy her
you prefer her as a friend
you do find her attractive

My suggestion is to arrange to meet her somewhere quiet, maybe over coffee.
And to apologise for all of the above.

Tell her that you do find her attractive and that you also value her as a friend.
Then tell her if she finds you attractive that you'd like to be more than just friends.

If she doesn't find you attractive, then you can go back to being friends, but without any confusion as to who fancies who now.

i would apologise about it if she didnt keep avoiding me

LegacyUser

Akward john wrote: »

i would apologise about it if she didnt keep avoiding me

Ok if u think she deserves an apology, and maybe she does as considering she has a boyfriend she may have felt it was inappropriate, then maybe you should make the effort to meet her and apologise?

She could possibly be avoiding because she feels she feels awkward about seeing you and there's no point ruining a good friendship because you haven't apologised.

Make the effort, after all the circumstances are more or less your own fault? Hope that doesn't sound too harsh

Akward john

Givingadvice wrote: »

Ok if u think she deserves an apology, and maybe she does as considering she has a boyfriend she may have felt it was inappropriate, then maybe you should make the effort to meet her and apologise?

She could possibly be avoiding because she feels she feels awkward about seeing you and there's no point ruining a good friendship because you haven't apologised.

Make the effort, after all the circumstances are more or less your own fault? Hope that doesn't sound too harsh

no your not being harsh I aoreciate your advice bigtime. Well i will apopogise i think i get know she was just flirting when she asked me to send her pics (which she did) and fishing for compliments when she asked me is she bueatiful ect. ill apologise for telling her that i would sleep with her, all things aside its not a polite thing to say. however i feel her avoiding me was quite hurtful so to be honest after the apology im not sure if i want to be friends again.

LegacyUser

Akward john wrote: »

no your not being harsh I aoreciate your advice bigtime. Well i will apopogise i think i get know she was just flirting when she asked me to send her pics (which she did) and fishing for compliments when she asked me is she bueatiful ect. ill apologise for telling her that i would sleep with her, all things aside its not a polite thing to say. however i feel her avoiding me was quite hurtful so to be honest after the apology im not sure if i want to be friends again.

Well you'd probably be better to find out why she's avoiding you before you make a decision like that!

I'm finding it hard to make a call on her behaviour because it doesn't seem to make sense, she's being a bit inconsistent! If she doesn't have a damn good reason to have been avoiding you then she's probably not worth the friendship anyway, good friends wouldn't do that without good reason!

And yes telling a girl you'd sleep with her is not very nice, I know I'd be annoyed if some guy said that to me! Though I appreciate you didn't deliberately say this to annoy her!

Akward john

Givingadvice wrote: »

Well you'd probably be better to find out why she's avoiding you before you make a decision like that!

I'm finding it hard to make a call on her behaviour because it doesn't seem to make sense, she's being a bit inconsistent! If she doesn't have a damn good reason to have been avoiding you then she's probably not worth the friendship anyway, good friends wouldn't do that without good reason!

And yes telling a girl you'd sleep with her is not very nice, I know I'd be annoyed if some guy said that to me! Though I appreciate you didn't deliberately say this to annoy her!

I know it was a stupid thing to say I didnt come out with it out of no where she asked who in the office I would sleep with I replied her, im not defending it just putting it into context. Previously she asked me for "sexy" pictures I declined to send any. The next day in work she brought up what was said and I apologised for it and told her I prefer her as a friend and dont fancy her. she laughed about it and seemed grand and again after that she asked about naked pics of me again.

She rang me for a chat the next day it was grand but in person avoided talking to me, we usually all walk home together 3 or 4 of us, she avoided that. I made clear i would prefer her as a friend. the way shes acting is totally wierd, she isnt exactly sending the right signals asking for naked pics.

I would have still rathered to have been friends than date her (office romance wouldnt be easy but friendship would last) but now shes really acting bizarre and making me feel bad, another guy flirted with her and she isnt avoiding him. So you can understand if im not to keen on being friends if she keeps it up. im not even getting a chance to talk to her.

steddyeddy

Sounds like a problem I had years ago, I dont mean to offend you but maybe shes just a flirt but when it comes down to someone making a move on her she realizes she has a boyfriend and then acts akward. its not your fault, you have apologised just if you see her ask her why shes acting akward. She seems a bit unstable to be honest!

gerryk

Akward john wrote: »

Well i will apopogise i think i get know she was just flirting when she asked me to send her pics (which she did) and fishing for compliments when she asked me is she bueatiful ect.

chicks love attention... simple as

steddyeddy

gerryk wrote: »

chicks love attention... simple as

True and the op says she asked for naked pictures of him, friends dont do that. then you asked something equally unfriend like about sleeping with her. Dont apologise op get the girl away from you she seems to be an attention seeker.

steddyeddy

dub_3 wrote: »

My reading of your post is that you have told her in turn

that you would sleep with her
that you don't fancy her
you prefer her as a friend
you do find her attractive

My suggestion is to arrange to meet her somewhere quiet, maybe over coffee.
And to apologise for all of the above.

Tell her that you do find her attractive and that you also value her as a friend.
Then tell her if she finds you attractive that you'd like to be more than just friends.

If she doesn't find you attractive, then you can go back to being friends, but without any confusion as to who fancies who now.

There is no chance the op should apologise, asking a friend for sexy pictures is just as bad as telling a friend you would sleep with them. Its very double standards.