Am i TOTALLY WRONG HERE OR NOT.....JUST VEXED!

ruxpin82

hi folks,
i got a nasty and treathening phonecall today from my ex-landlady and im feel very vexed and annoyed and just wondering am i totally wrong here.

Story is, i moved to UK in 2009 and spent a year living with this young couple (same age as me 27) as a lodger in their home. My job involved alot of travel in Europe and i was away alot 130days+, staying in hotels, hiring cars etc, so all my post was registered to that address, and id get a normal amount of mail due to this, also my car was registered there.

I moved out of there last April to a new address in the locality and, due to being abroad for about 150days last year, i admit i was slow to change address details, especially my drivers licience( i couldn't afford to surrender my licience for up to 3weeks while my address was being changed because i drive alot, hgv's etc ). This resulted in any hire car bills/traffic offences/car tax notices going to the old address.

I finally managed to change it in november and had started to direct as much of the other stuff to the new address as i could before this. I should mention it wasen't a huge volume of post, and the last 3-4mths just a trickle, its just difficult to remember where all the loose ends are and to tie them up.

Soooo today 'she' rings me up saying a letter had arrived about a speeding fine somewhere in Europe and that she was threathening legal action on me to force me to stop me 'using' her address, that id be picking up the solicitors fees and generally just going a bit mental at me.
After being diplomatic and reasoning with her, i discovered there was only one letter there, i had informed her that everything was sorted as far as i was aware, and if anything else comes it would be a surprise to me.


Im writing because im soo mad about how she spoke to me, I'll put my hands up and say yes I was slow to change things but it was difficult for me, she knew my job but just consider this:

• i was an ideal lodger because i was only there literally half the time,
• i got on well with them, never had a row or arguement,
• i was and am polite and respectful, apreciating it was their home
• when i left I found them my replacement immediately so they were not out of pocket

I left them on good terms and everything was ok i thought, I picked up a bunch of post a few mths back and 'he' mentioned to sort things out over a beer and i said i was on to it. A few weeks ago I got a snotty text off her about it, but today was the first time she actually spoke to me about it and she starts threathening solicitors letters on me..!

Am i wrong to be annoyed? This cant be a very civil way to go about things? I feel like ringing her up and .........:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

r0qi4162fux9kg

I know here - sure UK is the same - it is an offence to open someone else's post.

LegacyUser

I know it's not what you're asking but make it easy on yourself:

1) Set up a mail redirect through Royal Mail... http://www.royalmail.com/portal/rm/content1?catId=600008&mediaId=600047

2) Tell them you've done this and then move on. Not worth the time and raise in blood pressure.

thefeatheredcat

ruxpin82 wrote: »

i admit i was slow to change address details, especially my drivers licience( i couldn't afford to surrender my licience for up to 3weeks while my address was being changed because i drive alot, hgv's etc ). This resulted in any hire car bills/traffic offences/car tax notices going to the old address.

I wouldn't waste energy being angry about it. I think she over-reacted a bit as changing address takes time, and even when you do change addresses some systems may take time to update. You could have changed addresses before the speeding fine and the letter may still have gone to the old address, but I suppose that depends on the efficiency of systems.

She's probably worried that follow-up letters are going to come looking for you and personal visits and probably doesn't want that hassle.... especially when she's the owner of the house and doesn't want the residential address (which is linked to her) to be given a bad name for any reason (maybe credit ratings and such).

I would make peace with it all, may it was done wrong, but what's past is past, but don't let the letter sour the situation between ye.

tbh

Think about it logically. She wasn't going mental because of the letter. She was going mental because of something else. You don't know what that something else is, you don't have any control over it. If you go mental with her, we now have a situation where two people are going mental over nothing, both of them are stressed and unhappy and it's generally a bad deal all round. She behaved badly towards you but so what. You'll probably never see her again. Don't let it affect your mood, forget about it and get on with your life.

tenchi-fan

My view, you were in the wrong. You should have updated your address immediately upon moving out, or even sooner (by using a p.o box or family member's address).. or investigated whether an post had a suitable mail redirect service.

Your former landlady is over-reacting, but both of you will need to "get over it." As far as she's concerned, you paid her up until last April and now almost a year later she's still getting crap that's meant for you.. she probably thinks you're still using her address for dodgy dealings, and she has a right to be concerned and annoyed. Just pay a little more respect to other people in future and it will avoid these misunderstandings.

As for legal action.. she wouldn't really have a case so don't worry about that.

Distorted

I've never had a speeding fine but I'm guessing you can tell on the face of it what it is?

Are you sure thats all thats arrived? Because her reaction was a big over-reaction. I mean, it would seem there should be something more to warrant such a response. Anyway, you sorted everything out as well as you could but you are right to be annoyed.

Some people get very upset about post not being redirected. I guess because it was a fine and maybe she thinks you are avoiding paying stuff, etc.. Yes, you probably should have set up a redirection if you didn't officially change your address. I know a lot of people are late in doing so, but you say you drive an HGV? Doesn't that mean you are subject to more stringent rules than the average car driver? You can take your licenses in in person to your nearest DVLA office and get them changed there and then.

sam34

ruxpin82 wrote: »

I moved out of there last April to a new address in the locality and, due to being abroad for about 150days last year, i admit i was slow to change address details,
I finally managed to change it in november and had started to direct as much of the other stuff to the new address as i could before this.

seriously, if i was your ex- landlady i would be extremely pissed off

you moved out in April, and you didnt change addresses on your mail til November??? and you are still getting post there?

7 months is ridiculous, irrespective of what your job is.

thanks to my job, i have moved house 4 times in 4 years. its hassle-filled, but its not an impossible task to change addresses. i keep a list of who i need to ring and the relevant number, eg bank, car registration, visa, phone etc etc etc . its not rocket science and it takes about an hour to do, from start to finish.

she should not have to deal with this hassle. she does not want or need people calling to her house looking for you - how is she to know that the gardai wont arrive with a summons for you? why should she put up with that?

ruxpin82

OP back again.
This was the first time she had spoken to me about it, and her first sentence is swearing and threathening me with legal action...is this how you tackle minor issues with people you know and would have been friendly with sam34??

Sorry, but anybody who speakes to me like she did will not get a positive or sympathetic reaction, I dont care how wrong i was tbh. As far as i was concerned everything was tied up quiet a while ago and ONE letter appears yesterday out of the blue and she starts behaving like some claims-junkie-knacker from a rough estate, swearing and raving about legal action.

Wouldn't a quiet call to say ''a single letter has arrived here for you, are you sure everything is sorted your end'' have sufficed?

LittleBook

It may have been the first time she's spoken to you about it but it's probably the straw that broke the camel's back.

I get the impression, even from your point of view, that she could be worried about STILL getting "traffic offences", "speeding fines", etc. 9 months after you'd moved out. People can do crafty things to avoid fines.

You're lucky to get the call, if I was getting mail for a lodger who'd moved out 9 months ago I'd be chucking it in the bin and the lodger would have to deal with the consequences.

cantdecide

I moved into my place in June '09 and I still get mail from previous tenants. I haven't thrown any away and there's a 6" tall stack in the cupboard now for maybe four people. One made contact at one stage and took theirs away. What more can one do? It's no biggie- I can't get into someone else's trouble.

Your landlord is being outrageous and generally ignorant. As posted, tell them what action you're taking and tell her you don't wish to hear from her or anyone belonged to her again.

John Mason

i know it is only one letter but from the otherside i was in a 4 year battle with the local gardai about a speeding fine issued to the previous owners of my house.

it was delievered to my house, as their car was still registered the my address.


i had never met this person, but the local gardai refused to believe that - long, long story but i had to go the ombusman to get them to stop harassing me .

maybe she is worried you wont deal with the ticket and she will be left like me being hounded by the gardai

sam34

ruxpin82 wrote: »

OP back again.
This was the first time she had spoken to me about it, and her first sentence is swearing and threathening me with legal action...is this how you tackle minor issues with people you know and would have been friendly with sam34??

i wouldnt call an ex-tenant using my address 9 months after they moved out a "minor" issue.

ruxpin82 wrote: »

I dont care how wrong i was tbh

charming

BettePorter

I'm with the OP on this one. In the greater scheme of things it is a 'minor' issue. If all the OP says is true, the landlady was ott in first of all opening his mail and secondly bawling him out for it. If as he says they had a good relationship, her losing the head was an over reaction, common sense should have told her that although it was an irritation to get post and find its not for you, a simple chat to say, 'listen i got fine in the mail, for future ref i think its time you changed address. Good luck ! Job done.

You've a right to be vexed but don't get worked up about it, some ppl aren't happy if they're not fighting with someone. Maybe her fella lost the rag and a row ensued and that it turn made you into the target for her tongue lashing.

ruxpin82

sam34 wrote: »

i wouldnt call an ex-tenant using my address 9 months after they moved out a "minor" issue.



charming

Bit selective with your quotes there sam,
and your a moderator...?

seamus

I'm with sam34 on this one.

I bought my house 3 years ago this month and we're still getting the odd piece of mail for the previous owners. It took at least 12 months for the bulk of the mail to stop, primarily through us returning it to sender (even though we know where the new owners live).

It's very irritating. If I was noticing a sizeable amount of fines or other official documents arriving, I too would be very suspicious. You were asked to sort out your mail in person, you didn't. It doesn't take much effort to change your address, there's not really any excuse to be receiving mail to the wrong address after 9 months.

In understand her frustration, perhaps she was a bit over the top about it, but I don't see why you're getting so worked up about. Change your address for the relevant piece of mail today and forget about it, problem solved.

sam34

ruxpin82 wrote: »

Bit selective with your quotes there sam,
and your a moderator...?

i quoted points i was interested in replying to.

and i'm not a moderator in PI, i'm a moderator in biology, health sciences, TGC and LTI.

here in PI i'm treated as any other poster.

Nevyn

ruxpin82 if you have an issue with a post report it, mods are just posters in forums they do not mod and Sam34 is not a PI mod.