Emigrating and terrified.

LegacyUser

I am planning to leave Ireland in the next few months as I'm sure plenty of other people are. I am going on my own. Now I am an independent and I would hope intelligent adult. The thing is, I am a very anxious and nervous person by nature. I worry about everything and I do have social anxiety. Just wondering is there anyone else out there a bit scared about the whole thing?

I know it is my anxiety talking but I keep thinking about how it will all go wrong, that I will be useless, not able to make friends or end up coming home jobless and wasting the money my parents will probably have to loan me, since I am an unemployed graduate. The closer it gets the more uneasy I am getting. I know I need to try and stop thinking this way but would just like to know if anyone else feels the way I do so I know I'm not a total oddball.

Monkey Allen

I emmigrated on my own over 2 years ago. I had savings to last me a few months and was very excited about the whole thing. Best thing about the experience was the fact I had to make the effort to mix with new people. Regardless of where you go, theres always other people who are in the same boat or have been in the same boat who will help you out.

Getting work was an instant scare for me hours after getting off the plane. But, I was causing panic for myself that was completely unnecessary. If you have confidence in your ability then theres little you can do wrong.

If you struggle to get work, the most important thing at that point is survival. You'll get a job doing something until you find your feet.

This is a very exciting time in your life. The advice I gave my sister was to focus on the positives of the place you arrive. Theres plenty of negatives everywhere but letting them play on your mind will just send you home feeling like a failure.

Good luck and enjoy.

Johnny Bitte

Hey,
You see that its u causing yourself to think its going to be a disaster which is good but you need to shake that way of thinking.
You seem quite worried about looking like a failure if you dont get work and make it perfect when you get to where your going.

I think your best bet is every time you start thinking this way think of the worse case. You get there bum around have no money and come home. Realise this isnt so bad and it wont hold so much fear for you.
Then tell yourself it is gonna be amazing and YOU will adjust to any situation and have a great adventure.

Hope this helps.

annetted

hey, well it is a big deal moving to a new country. learn as much as you can about the area you are going to. work will be a great way to meet people.

Don't be beating yourself up - take this as an opportunity to try out somewhere new - everybody is nervous trying new things. Give yourself a chance - everything will work out well..

Don't let being nervous stop you enjoying this great opportunity.. where ever you go in the world, there are irish sports club and pubs etc. - join one of these..

best of luck

kerryman12

I think everthing you described above is completly understandable.

You are starting out on a big new project. You are not sure exactly how you will succeed or when, but all that means is that when you do succeed the feeling of achievement you will have will be all the more worth it.

We live in a small world now, no where is more than a day away. Use all of the technology available, get you family setup on skype so you can talk to them easily and cheaply. Do a lot of research about where you are going, fear comes for not knowing. use google street view to walk around where you hope to live and see what the place is like. Find out what the amenities are like. As previously mentioned try to make touch with other ex-pats it gives you somewhere to go to meet people. Try to have a job sorted before you get there.

Tens of thousands of people have done this in the past and done well, there is no reason to think you will not be the next one.

Best of luck

Monkey Allen

kerryman12 wrote: »

I think everthing you described above is completly understandable.

You are starting out on a big new project. You are not sure exactly how you will succeed or when, but all that means is that when you do succeed the feeling of achievement you will have will be all the more worth it.

We live in a small world now, no where is more than a day away. Use all of the technology available, get you family setup on skype so you can talk to them easily and cheaply. Do a lot of research about where you are going, fear comes for not knowing. use google street view to walk around where you hope to live and see what the place is like. Find out what the amenities are like. As previously mentioned try to make touch with other ex-pats it gives you somewhere to go to meet people. Try to have a job sorted before you get there.

Tens of thousands of people have done this in the past and done well, there is no reason to think you will not be the next one.

Best of luck

I would second all of the above. However, once you get here, you'll feel just as lost as streetview tells you nothing (other than what some streets you will walk on look like in a picture). Its important that you get some sort of feel for it though.

I remember feeling very lost when I went to a supermarket in Sydney for the first time. Not knowing what the good detergent is, what food brands were the best and simply feeling like I was literally starting all over again in a bigger way than I expected. The small things like that can add to the pressure believe it or not. But, as I said previously, focus on the good things. If its Australia you're moving to, food is far better anyway so thats a huge plus.

Write a blog about it and keep everyone informed of your journey.

bertaluchi

Monkey Allen wrote: »

I would second all of the above. However, once you get here, you'll feel just as lost as streetview tells you nothing (other than what some streets you will walk on look like in a picture). Its important that you get some sort of feel for it though.

I remember feeling very lost when I went to a supermarket in Sydney for the first time....

.

Yeah, this is a thing, not a big thing, but a thing nonetheless.
What I did was, and this might sound sad, but I went online to see if anybody else had asked the same questions that I had. And whadayaknow.. there was loads of info. Case inpoint, I didnt know where to shop, I went online and there was loads of people saying which places were good for what. Places to eat (if its Sydney, you are in for a treat there!).
On being nervous, it's just real life. It's the same everywhere. You'll need a place to stay, you'll get hungry around dinner time. You'll probably want a couple of beers at the weekends.
You'll be grand. (And nobody like an over confident knob either)
G'luck chief