Can't Enjoy Gay (male) Sex...

Burnwatchtower

Hello!

Have been having alot of problems with my enjoyment of anal sex. Have decided that bottoming is really not for me as I find quite painful. And as have gotten older I feel like I am leaning more towards being a "top".

I have a very large penis and although it would seem to be an advantage I find being a top with a large member has lead to certain instances which one could only describe as being gross (and sorry for being disgusting: brown) Thankfully have always been wearing a condom when this has happened. Regardless of the disgusting aspect when wearing a condom I find I cannot feel a thing which makes the entire excerise and result completely non appealling. I have in the past foolishly not used a condom (have been tested since and everything is fine, wont make mistake again) and found the experience much more enjoyable, although the risks of STI and possible brown result aren 100% off-putting. I find the prospect of safe anal sex exciting but my experiences have been so disgusting and not at enjoyable that am pretty much put off the whole idea altogether.

I am worried that if I totally refrain from anal sex that I will be missing out on a "big piece of the action" for want of a better pun. Would really appreciate some advice on this!!!! HELP!!!!!

A lemon

Jesus, it's not like anal sex is a compulsory part of homosexuality! If you don't like it, don't do it. You're needn't worry about FOMO if you already know that you don't like it. I'm sure there are lots of adventurous things that you can get up to in your sex life that don't involve anal sex...not that I'd know - I have an outrageously dull asexual life. What I do know is that many gay men don't like anal sex, while some straight men do. It's a personal preference and there's no reason it has to go hand in hand with you being gay.

Burnwatchtower

as stated when I did do the unthinkable of having unprotected anal sex (never will again of course) I did enjoy it, but when I do with a condom I feel nothing and sometimes it can be gross.

Want to do it, but want to feel more and have less ickiness!!!! catch my drift????

Nevyn

Try non laytex condoms(suitable for anal as not all condoms are) and both the ick factor and your ouch factor can be prevented by preping properly before hand.

Burnwatchtower

thanks!!! few more details on prepping????

Nevyn

It boils down to the bottom knowing thier body, there should not be fecal matter in the rectum unless they are due to evacuate thier bowels in the next hour so knowing your body and idealy a person should only need to do so twice a day is a start. So a healthy diet makes a difference.

In other countries enma kits would be more normal esp a mini one used earlier on in the evening, but washing out the bum can be just as effective.

As for the ouchs which is usualy mirco tears, that comes down to the bottom being aware enough of thier body to relax, the top not being too forceful and enough lube and prep being done with fingers/toys.

Butt plug training can also help to make a person aware and to get the body to be used to the feeling of an 'intruder' in the ass.

gavkm27

As an self respecting bottom should know,hygiene is very important as the last poster said getting a ''Douche Nozzle'' is very important,i used to carry one in my toiletery bag all the time,they screw into any hose shower fitting and are nice to use providing you get the water tempreature is right.

Sir Ophiuchus

gavkm27 wrote: »

As an self respecting bottom should know,hygiene is very important as the last poster said getting a ''Douche Nozzle'' is very important,i used to carry one in my toiletery bag all the time,they screw into any hose shower fitting and are nice to use providing you get the water tempreature is right.

I've heard that those can be somewhat dangerous. Think excessive water pressure dangerous.

Anyway, paying attention to your body and to cleanliness, as Thaedydal said, makes a huge difference.

Burnwatchtower

wow alot to look up on google, thanks so much. Lots to consider!!! xx

cgcsb

I'm also a top, but I didn't arrive at that conclusion because bottoming hurt me. After a bit of practice, I found bottoming is actually a pleasureable experience, the reason why I would consider myself to be a top is because I get a thrill out of it. In short, I decided what I prefered based on the positive/enjoyable aspects of both, rather than the negative aspects of one(the pain of bottoming). Pain for bottoms can be avoided through good communication and proper prep, it's not like a porno movie, you can't just lob it in.

Try sticking to shallower penetration, a lot of tops get a bit too carried away, and bottoms are often slow to complain because they don't want to be a buzz kill.

regarding the brown issue, that has happened to me once or twice, a little speck here and there like. I'm not really grossed out by it. a quick blast of the shower head(or removal of a condom), and that's it, you're done. Making a big deal of it only serves to make your bottom friend feel bad.

Burnwatchtower

thanks so much, its great to have such reassurance and advice! Suppose I have just been "lobbing" it in. Think its time to find a partner who I can communicate more with instead of one night stands. But suppose this is a whole other thread!!!!!

cgcsb

Burnwatchtower wrote: »

thanks so much, its great to have such reassurance and advice! Suppose I have just been "lobbing" it in. Think its time to find a partner who I can communicate more with instead of one night stands. But suppose this is a whole other thread!!!!!

Indeed like every type of sex, communication is the key. I'm a bit choosy, and I tend to prefer sex with the slightly more vocal(if you will) bottom

Hardaway

maybe u have only had sex w/ ppl who are crap at it. this isnt a joke, it actually makes a big difference.