Third Level Nightmare

LegacyUser

Right, It's four o' clock in the morning and I'm finding it difficult to sleep for the last say six weeks excuse the disjointed nature of the post

I've been attending one of the countries biggest universities since the beginning of the first semester. I didn't want to go to this Uni, it's way to far out and I'm not happy with the commute for something that I dont want to do anyways, I wanted to wait until this year to attend a course more suited to me, get in as a mature student you know, the only reason I attended this uni is because of the status my parents said it would bring the family having both kids in two of the big four makes them some sort of proud parents (big deal, I got into Uni, I can get there again, even getting there was a huge achievement for me, which is overshadowed. I was trying for a job this summer and have been made to wait because of security issues, this is a dream job and the dream is almost realized but I'm cracking up waiting for it, and the nature of the uni course is blowing any chance of happiness out of the water while I wait.

The course aint for me...I dont go, I dont want to go and the only thing that brings me happiness is training in some sports I do. I cant tell my parents, my ma could drop dead from stress at any second and the aul lad will ****in' kill me if he gets wind, I'm having to leave the house and walk around aimlessly for whole days, I cant bear to tell them, this is not what I wanted when they insisted that I do it.

I know what I want to study, but I would prefer the job...I have not sat any exams, so is my chances of a CAO gone now? I guess. This course sucks.

I just want out and I want the job. It's cracking me up...

what can I do?

Wompa1

You are nearly qualified as a mature student? This might sound harsh but grow up. Why in the bejaysus would you do a course you don't want to do just to please your parents. Your a full grown man and at this point in time working is the road less travelled anyway. I'm sure they could take pride in their son working when a lot people around just don't. (I know most can't but a lot can and won't lower themselves to anything less than the job they lost)

kerryman12

Dude

Wompa1 is right here, grow up. I can believe that one of your main bugbears is the commute. Most of us who were lucky to attend uni had to relocate from home to do so, a long commute is a small problem. If you cant do it then move closer.
If the course isnt for you, fair enough that happens. Go talk to the student service people find out what your options are - once you have the information make a informed decision. In relation to this other course and the dream job, well the more education you have the better IMO but if this is really the job for you then do something in the intermin the will help you to get this job, dont waste your time every day. Going to uni is a oppurtinuity, grab it with both hands.

The biggest issue I see here is your relationship with you parent. You need to do something about his. Sit them both down, explain that you are not happy and you need to make some changes. Ask for there advise, listen to it - then make your decision. At some point in your life you have to stand on your own two feet, and living your life for you not for them. If you do this you will be happier for it and they will respect you for being your own person.

best of luck.

Chinafoot

+2 on the Grow Up count.

Look OP, you're what? Almost 23? Be an adult ffs. What do you think is going to happen here? How long do you plan to go on with the pretence of going to college? Are you going to wait out the 4 years bumming around doing nothing and then pretend you've graduated? Do you think your parents won't suss it out when you are completely unable to get a job in this area because you don't actually have a degree? Cop on and start thinking.

If you don't want to do this course then don't do it. Drop out now and reapply for what you do want in time for September. Go and speak to your college Welfare Officer and find out what your options are regarding reapplying, fees for next year, mature student grants etc.

Regarding the dream job that you so desperately want...are you actually guaranteed this job? Its January and the job has been delayed since the summer for "security" reasons? That doesn't sound very reliable. Look, there is no point in doing a course you don't want to do and I would never recommend anyone do that. I do think that you should do a course you want to do and see it out because with the job situation in this country the way it is, every qualification will help.

Find out what your options are and then speak to your parents in an adult manner. Go from there.

SparkyTech

Hi OP

atwitsend wrote: »

didn't want to go to this Uni, it's way to far out and I'm not happy with the commute

Sorry OP but my commute to and from college takes 1.5 hours! Not all of us can afford to move closer to college so its just a fact of live you'll have to accept if you want to continue going to the place your in at the moment its a sacrafice your going to have to make.

I wanted to wait until this year to attend a course more suited to me, get in as a mature student you know, the only reason I attended this uni is because of the status my parents said it would bring the family having both kids in two of the big four makes them some sort of proud parents (big deal, I got into Uni, I can get there again, even getting there was a huge achievement for me, which is overshadowed. I was trying for a job this summer and have been made to wait because of security issues, this is a dream job and the dream is almost realized but I'm cracking up waiting for it, and the nature of the uni course is blowing any chance of happiness out of the water while I wait

Your in your mid 20's? Why are you going to college as a mature and doing a praticular course just to please your parents? You should be doing it for YOUR goals and YOUR aspirations in live - not just because it will please your folks. Its your life, accept responsibility for it.

If the job offer comes through and you want to quit uni for it - then by all means go for it, but you will have to accept the consequences of not finishing 3rd level as a result. Wiegh up which you want more in the long term.

The course aint for me...I dont go, I dont want to go and the only thing that brings me happiness is training in some sports I do. I cant tell my parents, my ma could drop dead from stress at any second and the aul lad will ****in' kill me if he gets wind, I'm having to leave the house and walk around aimlessly for whole days, I cant bear to tell them, this is not what I wanted when they insisted that I do it.

Its only 3 yrs of your life for the sake of a qualification that will stand to you in years to come when your looking for a job. Also, its the sense of achievment and confidence you'll gain from finishing the degree and knowing youv'e earned it. Nothings ever handed to you on a silver platter in life.

Do talk to the carearr/concelling service in your Uni or outside body to get some perspective and informed opinion before you make any decisions though.

Its important for you to take your parents considerations on board and explain things from your perspective. But, as above, Your an adult now, its your life and you have to make the decisions on what you want to do for the rest of it.

Best of luck

Distorted

You sound like a spoilt brat who can't stick anything and constantly looks for a way out and other people to blame for their own choices in life. Sorry if this is not what you want to hear. You don't have an actual job offer, with a start date and terms and conditions. You're 23 with no degree and no work experience behind you. Staying in your current university and actually achieving something concrete is obviously the best option in your present circumstances.

If you don't like living at home, get a part time job and pay for your own student accommodation nearer, like the majority on my degree course did.

claireeney

Hi OP,
If you cant sleep over this it is obviously a real problem for you. I know what parents are like with status and college in general. They would have given anything to have your opportunities but I can imagine how difficult it is to do a course you dont like. I found it hard enough to do the course I did like!!!

I think your first step would be to talk to the college councillors. Dont mention anything to your parents until you do as you will be advised as to the best way to approach them. While you have a job prospect, as mentioned it's not certain.

The advice I would like to give you is to push on with the course if at all possible until you have something solid to go on to afterwards. Dropping out will stand against you in the future whereas maybe just swapping courses if you can would be a better option. A girl I know dropped out twice without giving either course a chance and then was rejected from a course she wanted to do because she'd dropped out before.

So try to go to college, talk to the councillors, your GP and dean and hang on until you have something to go onto.

best of luck!

Scrappychimow

atwitsend wrote: »

It's four o' clock in the morning

claireeney

Scrappychimow wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYbb7y9WATs

that wont help with sleep!!! :pac:

Nevyn

Scrappychimow you tubelinks are not accepted on this forum and
Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
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Have a nice day.
Thaedydal