Broke from weddings

Common as...

What do people on here think about having to go to weddings and how much it costs?

I had to go 5 weddings (3 stags) last year, it cost me a small fortune and I had hate fooking things.
Got another invite in the door yesterday and its the kinda thing that unless you have a really good excuse, you have to go or risk alienating a friend for ever more.

So without ever counting my gf's expenses guess what this means to me:
overnight stay in hotel £50 euro
petrol up and down £50
gift(cash in card:mad:) £150
day drinking £100

(got outta the stag, made up some bulsh#t excuse, it was to U.K = £400)


Thats 350 euro I dont have and the thing is,I have a Job what about the those who don't have a job, gettin an invite must be a black day

So to anyone who is now planning a big wedding I can assure that unless you are inviting very close friends and family most people don't really wanna go especially those who are in low paid jobs or unemployed

KeithM89_old

Sounds like you need to come up with excuses to not go....
"I have to go to a funeral"
"I have the swine flu"
"Im having rectal prolapse surgery"


They all got me out of expensive weddings...

PrincessLola

Do you have to give them a cash gift? 150 seems a bit excessive. My parents give me less then that for xmas/birthdays:eek: You're prob at the age now where all your friends are getting married but surely showing up and giving a card or something is enough??

policarp

Think that's bad?

Supposing you had 9 or 10 daughters, then you'd be saving all your life to be broke...

iPlop

Common as... wrote: »

What do people on here think about having to go to weddings and how much it costs?

I had to go 5 weddings (3 stags) last year, it cost me a small fortune and I had hate fooking things.
Got another invite in the door yesterday and its the kinda thing that unless you have a really good excuse, you have to go or risk alienating a friend for ever more.

So without ever counting my gf's expenses guess what this means to me:
overnight stay in hotel £50 euro
petrol up and down £50
gift(cash in card:mad:) £150
day drinking £100

(got outta the stag, made up some bulsh#t excuse, it was to U.K = £400)


Thats 350 euro I dont have and the thing is,I have a Job what about the those who don't have a job, gettin an invite must be a black day

So to anyone who is now planning a big wedding I can assure that unless you are inviting very close friends and family most people don't really wanna go especially those who are in low paid jobs or unemployed

I have to agree ,I was at 3 weddings last year ,my sisters cost me 2,500 ,my mates cost me 1,500 and my brother in law's cost me 1,500.I have 2 kids that needed clothes for the wedding ,my missus and her new outfits and then the hair do's for her and the kids.Plus the accomodation.

whatsamsn

Yeah 150 is well too much.
You would be just as nice giving 100 euro. Round figure. Does the same job. But even less is more sensible. Whats your average wedding presents? coffee makers? george formans? they dont cost 100 euro even.

But ultimately if you think going to weddings is burning a hole in your pocket you'd be best to make excuses as KeithM89 said.


But all in all you should only goto really close friends, or family weddings. Not people you may of been friends with at some point in the past but not in regular contact now.

scientific1982

Just tell them you dont want to be their friends anymore and that they're smelly.

Cheap Thrills!

Common as... wrote: »

you have to go or risk alienating a friend for ever more.

Don't worry about that, once they have kids you'll never see them again anyway!

Seriously if I could re-write history I would avoid 3/4's of the weddings I went to and spend the money on holidays instead.

I wouldn't know half the people if they knocked me over now!

mikemac

Don't give cash so

Why not pick out a gift and put some thought into it instead of just cash?
The couple will have it for years and remember who gave it every time they see it. Cash will be forgotten

Doesn't have to be expensive, the best gifts often aren't

Common as...

Well, 150 is a lot for one, but I have to put in for my gf seeing as she's still in college, when I asked a close friend he said he puts in 100 and so does his otherhalf thats 200.
Course this was prior to his own wedding so maybe he was trying to big it up!

whatsamsn

Common as... wrote: »

Well, 150 is a lot for one, but I have to put in for my gf seeing as she's still in college, when I asked a close friend he said he puts in 100 and so does his otherhalf thats 200.
Course this was prior to his own wedding so maybe he was trying to big it up!

Well the present you give should always be from both of yous rather than divided (combined share). And pay no attention to what others give...( A, ) could be a lie ( B, ) that sum would soon change for future weddings if cash was tight. So dont feel a need to give just as much as others claim.

wiger toods

Yep! there a bastard alright! i had three of them, all last september. still trying to recover as well! Still though, you have to love the open bar:D

Common as...

I reckon i've played this all wrong cos I've often said to friends that I think weddings are a pain in the ass and had a little rant about how expensive they are.
So now they know that I don't really wanna go it makes it way harder to come up with an excuse cos your afraid you'll be caught out.
What I shoulda done over the last few years is to always say "oh I love weddings I can't wait for the big day" Then when it turned out that I couldn't go for whatever reason I could act genuinely dissappointed.:o

whiteonion

You don't have to go to weddings, it's not the law you know! Why do people have to make such a big deal of weddings? My parents got married with just a judge and two witnesses. El Cheapo.

AckwelFoley

Bring a vagina with you to the wedding because apparently you could get away with 150 for 2 people.. so at least you got company, rather than 150 for one person - and there is the significant risk of sex after!! woot

orourkeda

policarp wrote: »

Think that's bad?

Supposing you had 9 or 10 daughters, then you'd be saving all your life to be broke...

A condom might come in useful

whiteonion

I also heard that you have to bring a horse if you want to be able to score with one of the bridemaids.

Common as...

whiteonion wrote: »

You don't have to go to weddings, it's not the law you know! Why do people have to make such a big deal of weddings? My parents got married with just a judge and two witnesses. El Cheapo.

Agreed thats my thinking on them!

El Horseboxo

I had 2 weddings last year for close mates. So that included the stags too which were to Germany and Latvia. Have 2 more weddings this year too with 2 stags away in other countries. Spent a fortune on the 2 last year but i think i'll be sitting out at least one of them this year. Gonna book a holiday for the time it's on i reckon.

ballsymchugh

where is the rule that you have to go on the stag? deep down guys don't give a toss whether you turn up at the stag or not. and if you don't show up to the wedding, it makes it ever so slightly cheaper for them.
the 100 yoyo (which is about the norm per person) is just to cover the cost of your meal and 'free' drinks that may be laid on.

El Horseboxo

ballsymchugh wrote: »

where is the rule that you have to go on the stag? deep down guys don't give a toss whether you turn up at the stag or not. and if you don't show up to the wedding, it makes it ever so slightly cheaper for them.
the 100 yoyo (which is about the norm per person) is just to cover the cost of your meal and 'free' drinks that may be laid on.

No rule but if it's a young enough persons wedding and a group of your mates are organizing it there can be a lot of peer pressure. I seen it last year first hand from mates that really could of used the money elsewhere but gave in after being pressured into going.

gsxr1

I have been engaged for years now.

We are thinking of ways to proceed.

I really dont give a feck about who is there . As long as my loving partner,son and strait family are there . I dont care for inviting half the fecking county to it.
People who I like. But not love.

We can have I wedding in Italy and instead of gifts, just bring yourself.

I have a toaster. I dont need 12 more.

ninjasurfer1

PrincessLola wrote: »

Do you have to give them a cash gift? surely showing up and giving a card or something is enough??

Going to the full wedding and only giving a card??? you'd be better off not going at all rather than doing that. The normal thing is usually to at least cover the cost of bringing you to the wedding. Dinner, etc.

poppers

record was 10 wedding in one summer average 7/8 2-3 years before and after enjoyed every one.give what you can afford i've never heard one of my mates complain about what they got for a weddind present.
When i got married they all showed up and gave as much if not more back as i gave them as they say swings and round abouts.

deathrider

I hate weddings. Proper hate, like. They'd be in my top three things I hate doing (... working would probably be up there too). It's not just the cost of them, it's the whole long, drawn-out, boring-as-all-hell day that must be endured. That's one thing I must change when I take over the world...

anniehoo

Ive been to soooo many weddings its ridiculous. Loved every one but rather than panic about paying for the pressie ive waited for ages after the wedding.Example,about 9mths or so after my best friends wedding i knew both of them were goin away for the weekend. I got a deal of 2 swedish massages for 1 in in the hotel they were in.


I sent a card with prosecco to the hotel (free courier in work).The card had little heart confetti in it.Total surprise and they werent expecting it. They looooved it!!Ok, i spent €150 (what you'd spend anyway) so but they really enjoyed it.I loved it too because it was a present from me...when i could afford it and not when they were "supposed" to get it.

If they're good friends...it wont matter though I still have one to get...from last July. No panic. They're still my mates and ill get them something when i can afford it.

Common as...

If I enjoyed them id say fair enough and yes if im pissed i'll enjoy the last few hours but id enjoy lying at the side of ditch in the rain if I was pissed

~Don't like getting dressed up
~Don't like wearing a suit
~Don't like driving half-way cross the country to get to the church
~Don't like fighting with gf about not being getting there on time
~Don't like sitting in the church
~Don't like religion
~Don't like starting drinking in the middle of day and yes! you have to
~Hate the speeches (can't relax or something)
~Hate the meal no matter whats served cos I hate the speeches so much
~Don't like the music
~Don't like the dancing
~Like the last few hours when im pissed
~Don't like the hangover:P


So Im a real "Bucket of Laughs" aren't I

Trog

OP, there's no way around it, you're just gonna have to ride the bride to be. Sure, the friendship's still over, but this way you get the ride.

francie82

say u have a cousins weddin and post dem on 100 euro.....

poppers

Common as... wrote: »

If I enjoyed them id say fair enough and yes if im pissed i'll enjoy the last few hours but id enjoy lying at the side of ditch in the rain if I was pissed

~Don't like getting dressed up
~Don't like wearing a suit
~Don't like driving half-way cross the country to get to the church
~Don't like fighting with gf about not being getting there on time
~Don't like sitting in the church
~Don't like religion
~Don't like starting drinking in the middle of day and yes! you have to
~Hate the speeches (can't relax or something)
~Hate the meal no matter whats served cos I hate the speeches so much
~Don't like the music
~Don't like the dancing
~Like the last few hours when im pissed
~Don't like the hangover:P


So Im a real "Bucket of Laughs" aren't I

there is not rule stating you have to go if your invited
if people hate weddigsas much as they are saying here then i'm i'm sure your friends know how much you hate weddings so they would not be surprised if your RSVP was NO

Common as...

anniehoo wrote: »

Ive been to soooo many weddings its ridiculous. Loved every one but rather than panic about paying for the pressie ive waited for ages after the wedding.Example,about 9mths or so after my best friends wedding i knew both of them were goin away for the weekend. I got a deal of 2 swedish massages for 1 in in the hotel they were in.


I sent a card with prosecco to the hotel (free courier in work).The card had little heart confetti in it.Total surprise and they werent expecting it. They looooved it!!Ok, i spent €150 (what you'd spend anyway) so but they really enjoyed it.I loved it too because it was a present from me...when i could afford it and not when they were "supposed" to get it.

If they're good friends...it wont matter though I still have one to get...from last July. No panic. They're still my mates and ill get them something when i can afford it.

Sounds very toughtful fairplay:)
But the thing is if everybody did this the poor couple getting married would need a 20k - 30k loan to pay for the wkend its kinda hard to enjoy a swedish massage when your down 25K:eek:

Darlughda

So what happens if the bride or groom cheat on each other a couple of years down the line? Do they have to give the presents back?

Common as...

poppers wrote: »

there is not rule stating you have to go if your invited
if people hate weddigsas much as they are saying here then i'm i'm sure your friends know how much you hate weddings so they would not be surprised if your RSVP was NO

I only hate that part in the middle the rest I don't really like as in its not my idea of having a gud time and the fact that I've to pay to do only makes it worse.
are you angry cos I don't like weddings. why?

giftgrub

I have three this year.
One of them posted the wedding list online, it totals 12 grand.
Stuff like 28 euro dinner plates and a 200 euro toaster

Darlughda

giftgrub wrote: »

I have three this year.
One of them posted the wedding list online, it totals 12 grand.
Stuff like 28 euro dinner plates and a 200 euro toaster

Would ya not just turn up with a couple of tea towels make a joke of it and show them up for being greedy?

dory

Common as... wrote: »

Sounds very toughtful fairplay:)
But the thing is if everybody did this the poor couple getting married would need a 20k - 30k loan to pay for the wkend its kinda hard to enjoy a swedish massage when your down 25K:eek:

I hate this mentality though that we're as guests meant to pay for their wedding. I wouldn't expect anyone to pay for my birthday party, or child's Christening - so why wedding?? It only serves to make people hate them more.

Irish weddings are getting more and more formulaic. To the point where (almost) everyone is bored of them and sick of paying so much. I hope with the recession comes the idea that if you want a wedding, pay for it, and don't expect your poor guests to.

Tubsandtiles

OP just get married and "rake in the money"

phasers

Common as... wrote: »

Sounds very toughtful fairplay:)
But the thing is if everybody did this the poor couple getting married would need a 20k - 30k loan to pay for the wkend its kinda hard to enjoy a swedish massage when your down 25K:eek:

This is why everybody hates weddings.


Do couples really expect their guests to pay for their wedding? YOU decided to have a stupidly expensive day dedicated to yourselves, so YOU should pay for it.

coffeenuts

PrincessLola wrote: »

Do you have to give them a cash gift? 150 seems a bit excessive. My parents give me less then that for xmas/birthdays:eek: You're prob at the age now where all your friends are getting married but surely showing up and giving a card or something is enough??

whatsamsn wrote: »

Yeah 150 is well too much.
You would be just as nice giving 100 euro. Round figure. Does the same job. But even less is more sensible. Whats your average wedding presents? coffee makers? george formans? they dont cost 100 euro even.

But ultimately if you think going to weddings is burning a hole in your pocket you'd be best to make excuses as KeithM89 said.


But all in all you should only goto really close friends, or family weddings. Not people you may of been friends with at some point in the past but not in regular contact now.

Have you people got married recently? No I didnt think so.

The bride and groom who have invited you to a very special day in their lives will have spent around 75 per person for dinner and god knows how much more on the rest of the wedding.

150 is the going rate for a present simple as that. Anything less is just scabby and you would be better making your excuses and stayin home as your costing them money by going.

Leiva

Tubsandtiles wrote: »

OP just get married and "rake in the money"

Exactly .

Just have a big massive fcuk off "sham" Wedding and get all your cash back , also have it in the most expensive Hotel and get em back on the additional cost front.

Divorce your "sham" wife 2 days later and piss off with all their cash on a round the World tour whilst they wish to get divorced .

Think of a those Weddings as a World tour savings scheme .

lil'bug

I don't agree with this minimum spend amount, I was at my friends wedding recently and I couldn't afford a gift on the day so I asked her what she really wanted, she wanted a vase, so I got her one. It didn't cost €150 but she was very very happy with it and because the vase was reasonable i bought them an extra surprise gift

mrsdewinter

PrincessLola wrote: »

Do you have to give them a cash gift? 150 seems a bit excessive. My parents give me less then that for xmas/birthdays:eek: You're prob at the age now where all your friends are getting married but surely showing up and giving a card or something is enough??

You're kidding, right? That would be certain social death. Back during the Celtic Tiger years, wedding costs were sky-high. Cash gifts were a way of defraying expenses. Horrible approach to take to your Big Day but, well, we all got a little crazy for a while.

dory

coffeenuts wrote: »

150 is the going rate for a present simple as that. Anything less is just scabby and you would be better making your excuses and stayin home as your costing them money by going.

No, it's not simple as that. As you can see, a lot of people can't afford it, and some won't out of principle. So people are really going to have to get used to paying for their own weddings or downsizing.

"Costing them money by going"? Of COURSE you're costing them money, that's what hospitality is. You also cost someone money every time you go to their house for tea.

gcgirl

I thinks it's hilarious non pratising Catholics using a church for their big White wedding what's wrong with a civil marriage ? The travellers have more religion in them n most are reguler mass goers and are more intitled to use a church !
I really think it's a case of people just trying to out do oneanother esp the chicks the guys just get bored stiff with the bridzillas;)

coffeenuts wrote: »

Have you people got married recently? No I didnt think so.

The bride and groom who have invited you to a very special day in their lives will have spent around 75 per person for dinner and god knows how much more on the rest of the wedding.

150 is the going rate for a present simple as that. Anything less is just scabby and you would be better making your excuses and stayin home as your costing them money by going.

PrincessLola

mrsdewinter wrote: »

You're kidding, right? That would be certain social death. Back during the Celtic Tiger years, wedding costs were sky-high. Cash gifts were a way of defraying expenses. Horrible approach to take to your Big Day but, well, we all got a little crazy for a while.

bah! They're spoilt kids who feel entitled to a big party in their honour and then demand wads of cash for the party no one wanted in the first place. humph!!!:mad:

(*None of my friends have gotten married yet*)

gcgirl

Feck cash gifts I got my mate a print framed from a painter guy I know cost 60 euro she loved it:)

PCPhoto

dory wrote: »

No, it's not simple as that. As you can see, a lot of people can't afford it, and some won't out of principle. So people are really going to have to get used to paying for their own weddings or downsizing.

"Costing them money by going"? Of COURSE you're costing them money, that's what hospitality is. You also cost someone money every time you go to their house for tea.

they probably didnt send out invites so they could make money (ie to cover the cost) ...they wanted their "friend" at the wedding .... so turn up, if you feel the need...get a gift...give a pressie...enjoy the festivities....or tell them you cant afford to go, give them a gift anyway - as they are your friends (if thats money or an actual present - thats your choice)

mrsdewinter

Vases, bottles of prosecco... Remind me never to invite you peeps to my wedding.

mrsdewinter

PrincessLola wrote: »

bah! They're spoilt kids who feel entitled to a big party in their honour and then demand wads of cash for the party no one wanted in the first place. humph!!!:mad:

(*None of my friends have gotten married yet*)

Lols... You'll see

Dyr

Don't forget the days off work if the fookers decide not to have it on a weekend.

I don't go to 'em these days..buy a gift..give it to 'em and good luck. If they get the hump and never talk to me again then it's one less friend/relative/acquaintance that I'll have to deal with. Boo hoo

lil'bug

mrsdewinter wrote: »

Vases, bottles of prosecco... Remind me never to invite you peeps to my wedding.

that was what my friend wanted i asked her and she loved it