How do I know if Im bisexual?

Virgo80

Hi there.
I am a woman and have always liked men and having sex with them (well, some are worse than others..:-/).
however, I do find my mind wandering and fantazising about other women sometimes when 'entertaining' myself..
say, if I was to watch a video to get turned on, it'd be most likely of two women doing (soft) stuff.
when I get turned on, I do think of a woman being there etc, and even sometimes when Im with a man, Id love a woman to be there too to add up to the fun.
Though, I am not sure I'd actually like it if it were to become reality??
When I was a teenager, me and my best friend at the time would sometime touch each other in bed, during sleepovers. not very often, though.
Also, once I had a stoned sorta threesome, and the girl did go down on me, and I still remember.
More recently, I have been kissing girls during my holidays in the USA last summer, but nothing more.
Am I definitely bisexual? Is it worthwhile trying it further to make sure?

SparkyTech

Do whatever makes you happy. Nothing wrong in exploring your sexuality as long as it's done in a healthy and safe way! Only you can make up your mind for sure if you are bi, but labels arn't important. Lifes about the journey, as they say. Best of luck

Virgo80

Thanks, i agree, but I do question this sometimes.
I should just get it over and done with and out of my system.
(Could repeat if I like!)
:-)

gcgirl

Would you go down on woman ? If the answers yes then you could be indeed bisexual,there are plenty of women who do the above the waist stuff head wreckers who only wanna turn their boyfriends on that really do give actual bisexuals a bad name.

Virgo80

I am not sure. And I do also fantasize of women without men involved in the picture.
but I would definitely receive I think that wouldnt make me feel uncomfortable at all.
me going down, I really wouldnt know till Im in that situation I guess, but it wouldnt the my fantasy off the top of my head.

Endymion

Fantasy doesn't have to translate into reality. We all have fantasies which we'd never ever consider acting on. So fantasies aside, do you feel that your real life bisexual attractions and actions are significant enough to push you towards the bisexual end of the spectrum?

Virgo80

well, I dont think I would have a relationship with a woman. not on a day-to-day basis.
then again, I might meet a woman who is very attractive sexually and then find that I am involved emotionally. i wouldnt exclude it out of principle, but I doubt it.

Killer_banana

There is no definite way to know. You just kind of figure it out over time. I think if you couldn't picture yourself having a relationship day to day then it's more likely you're jsut bi-curious. Then again there's no hard and fast rules when it comes to sexuality. In my opinion you are what you define yourself as. Some may see me as pansexual but I see myself as bi so that's how I define myself. Some people don't like to label it so they don't particularly define themselves as anything.

If you personally don't like the idea of 'not knowing' or feel you don't like defining yourself as straight for whatever reason all you can really do is try and figure out what it is about women that attracts you and what you think that means in relation to your sexuality. Experimenting with women will probably make things a bit clearer too. I figured out my sexuality without experimenting but I know a lot of people who actually had to before understanding their feelings.

Hope that helps. Sorry I'm not great at explaining these things.

Monkey61

Just because something is a sexual fantasy doesn't mean that you have to actually carry it out to feel fulfilled in life, or feel like you aren't missing out...or something.

Which is why I don't think that you have to "make sure". So you like to think about women sexually sometimes. Grand. Why not? Does it have to mean anything more than that?

Obviously sexuality is all on a spectrum anyway, but judging by what you have said, I personally wouldn't think that you were bisexual - mainly based on the fact that you think it is highly unlikely that you would want to be in a relationship with a woman and (I am only guessing here) but I presume that you have never had a significant desire for a particular woman that you wanted to be with.

I have friends who are bisexual and from their persepctive, they just fancy people, gender doesn't really come into it when they meet someone that they find attractive because they just find that person attractive.

For the moment, why not just enjoy the fantasy? By all means sleep with who you want to and have fun. If one day, you meet, fall in love with, a woman, that might be the time to start wondering what it means and if you could happily pursue a relationship etc. But for now, I don't think it really matters.

Virgo80

For the moment, why not just enjoy the fantasy? By all means sleep with who you want to and have fun. If one day, you meet, fall in love with, a woman, that might be the time to start wondering what it means and if you could happily pursue a relationship etc. But for now, I don't think it really matters.[/QUOTE]

I agree 100%. I wouldnt close the door to love or relationship just out of gender. i mean, if one day I fall in love with a person, they can be man or woman, doesn't matter.
But in principle, I do have deep relationships with the women in my life (mother, sister, girl friends), but I don't desire being with them as a couple. I only fantasize about sexual things with women.

So Ill stop wrecking my head and trying to find a label, and get on with life as it comes!

THANKS ALL FOR TIPS!

:-)