Pervy neighbour

t_i_l_l_y

:(Hi all. Long time watcher of boards and first time poster. wondering if i could get help with a situation thats been getting to me since September and pretty much came to a head tonight.

I was with my Fiance for 8 years,. Long story short he did nothing but live off me and cheat on me,I bought my house in July 2010 and after finding out what he was up to (cheating) i kicked him out. The house is mine his name was on nothing so it was a clean break.

So a month after i kicked him out, the house beside me was sold and a couple in their 40s moved in. They seemed lovely and i chatted with the wife over the wall a lot. The husband seemed v nice too. I would always catch him looking at me but i figured i was seeing things etc.

So basically they had a housewarming and i went to it a male friend of mine(it was sort of a first date in a way) and the new neighbours were in the kitchen saying to me my new guy was cute etc and we were chatting away. So the wife leaves and i go to follow her and her husband blocks my way and says "You can do better than him sexy" and grabbed my *area between my legs* . I just ran basically , i went home saying i was sick etc.

Since then hes constantly winking at me and making kissy faces. I was clearing the leaves out my front a few days ago and he came out with a beer in his hand(at 3 in the day) and slurred "Ive a better workout for u than that"

Everytime i leave my house or i am in my garden i catch him looking out the window. On my birthday i got a card saying "You know where i am, anytime xxx" .Of course i have no proof its him.

It all came to a head basically when he arrived at my front door 2 hours ago- drunk AGAIN! saying his powers gone and did i have a torch, I said no and he pushed in the door and said "I have a torch for you"

After screamimg at the top of my lungs he left. IVE LOCKED MY DOORS and im pretty much sitting here with a vodka still shaking! :(

Fluorescence

Report him to the Gardaí? What a jackass!

tenchi-fan

Phone the guards straight away.

Sounds like your life could possibly be in danger here. Hopefully they'll have a word with him and he'll cop on to himself.

You have to wonder why this guy moved house to begin with... sounds like a pervert.

Mr Johnson

Tell his wife as well. Show her the card he sent you, surely she'll recognise his writing. He's already sexually assaulted you once, he'll just keep getting braver if you don't do anything about it.

t_i_l_l_y

Thank you for the replies.

I threw the birthday card out, at the time i didnt know how far this would go. I though he was just being pervy. He had sent me an 18th card even though he knows i am 27.

I am not making excuses here but if i call the police it will just be my word against his, and i cant prove anything hes done:(

Fluorescence

At least it will be on record that you've complained before if he does anything again in the future. Sit down and write out a list of every pervy interaction you've had with him (even the less serious ones). The groin grabbing counts as a sexual assault. You really need to impress upon the guards how much this man has invaded your life in the last few months.

Sardonicat

He's banking on you thinking that, Tilly!

Go to the guards, anyway, tell them what has happened. Do it first thing tomorow. In the meantime, keep a log of everything he does.

Tell him, in front of his wife, that you will not tolerate this. If there are any neighbours around, do it infornt of them!

Don't show this man fear, it's what he wants. Eye contact, fearless and strong! don't be worrying about what you will look like, that his wife will be hurt, etc. He sees you as an easy target. Show him you're not.

Monkey Allen

t_i_l_l_y wrote: »

Thank you for the replies.

I threw the birthday card out, at the time i didnt know how far this would go. I though he was just being pervy. He had sent me an 18th card even though he knows i am 27.

I am not making excuses here but if i call the police it will just be my word against his, and i cant prove anything hes done:(

Report him report him report him. You're most likely not his first target and wont be his last. You dont know what might have happened in the past and so you dont know how much at risk you are or whoever is after you. Report him immediately.

Mr Johnson

If he's that brazen there's a good chance he's done it before, so he might even have a previous record with the Gardaí. If so they'll take it very seriously.

Sibylla

Report him straight away, you do not need to take that. If you should feel safe anywhere it should be at home.

DazMarz

You need to report this incident to the Gardaí, at once. In your local station, you can request to speak to a female Garda. This might be more comfortable for you. If not, the Gardaí in the station could contact a counsellor to be present while you make a statement or a formal complaint.

You do not have to put up with this. At all. You were strong enough to get rid of your sponge of a fiance, and you are strong enough to beat this pervert. Do not let him ruin your life. Get help from the Gardaí (that is what they are there for) and do not be afraid to speak out.

Good luck, and remember to be strong!

t_i_l_l_y

This has been without a doubt the worst night of my life.

I called the police, they came and I told them everything. They left and went next door. They came back and asked me to accompany me to the police station.

Basically he told the police a different story. He said i have been eyeballing him since he moved in and that im acting like a physco. That i text him to come over tonight as i needed help with my tv. When he came over i grabbed him and tried to have sex with him. He pushed me off and i started screaming at him so he left.

The worst part is i did scream at him but it was for a different reason, but the police checked with a neighbour on the other side of me who confirmed he heard screaming and then heard a door slam and saw him walking out of my front garden. It all looks so unbelievably bad. hes twisting it around and it looks so bad! The police said if he decides to press charges i will have to go to court for "slander" and "Giving a false statement"

When i got home a few minutes ago his wife came running out the door(its like she was waiting up for me) screaming at me calling me a physco and saying she would kill me.

Im seriously going to have a nervous breakdown:(

Monkey Allen

t_i_l_l_y wrote: »

This has been without a doubt the worst night of my life.

I called the police, they came and I told them everything. They left and went next door. They came back and asked me to accompany me to the police station.

Basically he told the police a different story. He said i have been eyeballing him since he moved in and that im acting like a physco. That i text him to come over tonight as i needed help with my tv. When he came over i grabbed him and tried to have sex with him. He pushed me off and i started screaming at him so he left.

The worst part is i did scream at him but it was for a different reason, but the police checked with a neighbour on the other side of me who confirmed he heard screaming and then heard a door slam and saw him walking out of my front garden. It all looks so unbelievably bad. hes twisting it around and it looks so bad! The police said if he decides to press charges i will have to go to court for "slander" and "Giving a false statement"

When i got home a few minutes ago his wife came running out the door(its like she was waiting up for me) screaming at me calling me a physco and saying she would kill me.

Im seriously going to have a nervous breakdown:(

So where's this text you were supposed to have sent him? You did the right thing and he'll get found out. Its not good it happened like this but keep with it. I suggest talking to your family now.

tenchi-fan

t_i_l_l_y wrote: »

The police said if he decides to press charges i will have to go to court for "slander" and "Giving a false statement"

When i got home a few minutes ago his wife came running out the door(its like she was waiting up for me) screaming at me calling me a physco and saying she would kill me.

Im seriously going to have a nervous breakdown:(

Did you send him a text? The gardai can check that with the mobile phone company.

You did the right thing reporting it. The guards have your statement and will be watching this guy.

For your part, ignore him and his wife completely. There is no reason you should speak to them or even glance in their direction.

If you have any brothers or male family members maybe consider asking them to call over to you for a while. Might make you feel safer.

maglite

OP get a solicitor and go back to the garda station.


Ask to speak to the original Gardai and ask them what they have done to check his statement to be true. ie Phone records.

You might get more mileage from a Female garda, as sexist as that sounds. They will be less likely to side with him.

Have you spoke to anyone about this before, a text message to a friend etc would go along way to show history.

Sundew

I would now advise keeping a diary in case any other "incidents" arise so that you can show it to the gardai. I had an issue with a neighbour a few years back and was told by my local garda to do this as I had previously let some serious stuff go without reporting it.
I would try and avoid any confrontation with these "neighbours" in future. get on with living your own life and like somebodyelse said just ignore/blank them!
Good Luck!

Big Bag of Chips

If you didn't send him any text, which I'm assuming you didn't, then it is very very easy to disprove his story.

All they have to do is look at your sent items, or look in his inbox. Or if that isn't sufficient, they can contact your network provider. Might take a bit longer, and they mightn't be that bothered if they think this could be the end of it.

I do agree, go back to the garda station today. Tell them you are not happy with how things were handled. Why are they telling YOU, that you could be done for slander etc.. have they told him the same thing? Ask if it's one person's word against another why were YOU brought to the station and warned against "giving a false statement" and not him? Althought, On the other hand they may have known he was drunk and asked him to come to the station today? So be careful not accuse them of victimisation, because you don't really know exactly how they are handling him? I'm sure they deal with this sort of he-said-she-said all the time.

Don't back down though - Tell them you want to make a formal written complaint about him, and you want his version of events looked into.. because it's very easy to find out if he has lied or not.

You don't have to have anymore to do with them, as other posters have said. And keep note of every incident.. including her calling you a psycho etc.

Don't give up on this now. You've started it. You're in the right. You can prove he is wrong (assuming that you never texted him last night?)

Pebbles68

If your side of the story is true, and there's no reason to doubt you, the truth will come out in the end. It is possible that he'll leave you alone now that he knows you are prepared to call the Gardai. You may have made an enemy of his wife but you can look yourself in the mirror knowing that you have done the right thing.

If he is drinking a lot he's likely to do something else stupid. Remember if this happens to stay calm and think straight. Do nothing that he could use to turn things around on you.

In your shoes I'd keep my video camera fully charged and within easy reach just in case he does come to your door being abusive. While I'm not sure it is allowed in court you certainly have strong evidence to back up your statement to the Gardai

Stay strong and good luck

Butterflylove

God OP I feel for you I hope you stick with this and dont let him 'beat' you!!

As others have said keep a note of everything!! write down everything even about his wife rushing out and threaten you and go back to make sure they are taking your complaint seriously!!


Good Luck!

mariebeth

OP, I feel for you, living next to a creep like that. Please don't let it slide, do what the others suggested and go back to the Gardai, it is his word against yours, what right to they have to believe his story over yours.

Please keep us posted on what is happening if you can, you do have a network of support here on boards.

Distorted

It might be worth investing in a movement activated video camera somewhere over your front doorway. Very hard to spot, records only when activated by the heat from a person's movements and also records sound. Not that expensive and reasonably easy to set up. He sounds very arrogant and I think in a few days might try texting you again. Report this immediately if he does so.

Sometimes you get idiots of guards who don't want to get involved in such situations. I once had a similar experience. I was swimming in a public pool and basically there was a man in the same lane who felt me up ie deliberately touching private parts whenever he passed. It definately wasn't accidental. I reported it to the manager, who reacted very strangely and then the swimmer came over too and started making a huge fuss. The manager said he would call the police if I was insisting it had happened, obviously briefed them on the phone first that I was an idiot and they basically gave me a bollocking and told me they would charge me if I insisted on my complaint. It was very, very strange, as I come across very sane and have a very respectable job dealing with the public. Some months later I read in the local paper that someone had been caught by a parent filming children changing through a hole drilled in a changing cubicle, but remarkably enough he escaped through the reception area and jumped in his car without being traced. There was obviously something very strange going on at that swimming pool.

I tell you this so you won't feel deterred by insisting on complaining further should anything more happen because you do get incompetent, lazy and gullible police officers/guards who are not representative of the whole.

Johnny Bitte

t_i_l_l_y wrote: »

This has been without a doubt the worst night of my life.

I called the police, they came and I told them everything. They left and went next door. They came back and asked me to accompany me to the police station.

The police said if he decides to press charges i will have to go to court for "slander" and "Giving a false statement"

This is un-****ing-believable!!
Way to go Gardai, for making a victim feel even worse. :mad:

So sorry for your situation Tilly but try to stay strong.
As said try to ignore your neighbors follow up with the Gardai and get solicitor.

Write down times and dates for all these events asap.

astra2000

OP have you got a friend or family member who can come and stay with you for a few days?
Calm down at worst it is just a case of his word against yours, there doesnt appear to be proof on any side. Going back to the night he first groped you, could you contact the man you attended the party with to cooberate your story? Get legal advice and also go back to the garda station, this time make sure you are accompanied by someone, and get some clarity on this matter. Best of luck

Kimia

t_i_l_l_y wrote: »

This has been without a doubt the worst night of my life.

I called the police, they came and I told them everything. They left and went next door. They came back and asked me to accompany me to the police station.

Basically he told the police a different story. He said i have been eyeballing him since he moved in and that im acting like a physco. That i text him to come over tonight as i needed help with my tv. When he came over i grabbed him and tried to have sex with him. He pushed me off and i started screaming at him so he left.

The worst part is i did scream at him but it was for a different reason, but the police checked with a neighbour on the other side of me who confirmed he heard screaming and then heard a door slam and saw him walking out of my front garden. It all looks so unbelievably bad. hes twisting it around and it looks so bad! The police said if he decides to press charges i will have to go to court for "slander" and "Giving a false statement"

When i got home a few minutes ago his wife came running out the door(its like she was waiting up for me) screaming at me calling me a physco and saying she would kill me.

Im seriously going to have a nervous breakdown:(

Stupid police. Tell them you'll be pressing charges yourself, of harrasment and sexual assault. Honest to god, in this day and age we still have this nonsense going on from the guards.

You are now in a battle with this man and you can't back out. It's too late to do nothing at this stage, you have to see it through or you (clearly) will be harrassed out of your house and possibly arrested (because of his lies).

You have to write down everything, you need to have people visit you in the hopes that they will be witnesses to his madness. You should definitely look into getting a camera installed, i'm sure they're not that expensive and then you don't have to worry about him showing up on your door and not having any proof of his behaviour.

Other than that avoid him at all costs. What a bastard!!!!

t_i_l_l_y

I have gone back down to the police station and mentioned the text, they said he showed them the text I sent him but the kicker was it didn’t come from my number. I told them this and of course he had a story for that too. He told them I had gotten another sim to text him off:eek:. Complete BOLLUCKS of course but try telln that to a cop looking at you like some physcopath.:(

Hes them told that ive latched on to him since my fiancé “dumped me for a younger model”:eek: and that he was nice to me and I took it as he was in love with me, and I have been stalking him since.

I don’t know why he is doing this to me, I have had my house egged today. Im in bits and the police wont help me!

Big Bag of Chips

He's doing this to you because you "told" on him. Was your name on the text? If your name wasn't on it, how did he know it was you, if you texted from a different phone? Do you know what I mean? The text would have had to start "hey, it's t_i_l_l_y".. if that's not on it he can't possibly claim it's from you... if it is on it.. well then, he's a sleaze, with a second phone that he keeps hidden from his gf and sent the text to the phone while the cops were there... easy solution to that.. check the time the text was received. Although I can't see the cops persuing him with a bit more proof from you.

Did you take photos of your house? Did you report that to the guards? I know you feel like you are fighting a losing battle, but you have to keep this up. If it comes to it, tell the guard that you will be making a formal complaint against HIM, for dismissing you without proper investigation of yer man.

I feel sorry for you, I really do. But stick with it. The truth will come out. Just a pity you have to put up with all this cr*p in the meantime.

Kingpin187

makes me sick reading this thread

OP you need family member(s) staying with you for a bit to give you support and company, you havent said if you have or not.. male if possible, might scare him away so to speak.

I would hate to think that a female member of my family was dealing with this and would be over straight away.

I would also seek legal advice as to your next step, cos you are obviously being intimidated and made to feel uncomfortable and possibly unsafe in your own home, professional legal advice to see what further avenues are available is what I would suggest as you are not having much luck.

I do believe in Karma tho, he'll get his

good luck

Nevyn

Get a solictor now, don't wait, right now its your word against his and you need legal advice.

Kingpin187

hi OP, just a small afterthought.. you could invest in one of those voice recorders, which today are pretty damn high tech and cheap. Keep one in your bag/pocket/nearby and a click of a button will record anything that might be said to you

Jumpy

t_i_l_l_y wrote: »

I have gone back down to the police station and mentioned the text, they said he showed them the text I sent him but the kicker was it didn’t come from my number. I told them this and of course he had a story for that too. He told them I had gotten another sim to text him off:eek:. Complete BOLLUCKS of course but try telln that to a cop looking at you like some physcopath.:(

Hes them told that ive latched on to him since my fiancé “dumped me for a younger model”:eek: and that he was nice to me and I took it as he was in love with me, and I have been stalking him since.

I don’t know why he is doing this to me, I have had my house egged today. Im in bits and the police wont help me!

That SIM he said you got. Why is that not being investigated? You cant buy a sim without providing details.

There is far more to this story than you are letting on. It doesnt read right.
The guards are not idiots and they dont take bull****. So its very hard to see why they would take such obvious BS from him, they obviously cannot take sides in such an issue, but they can investigate the facts and charge appropriately and they way you have written it, only an idiot would not see the obvious.
This is why these posts dont read right.

Kingpin187

Jumpy, you can get SIMs anywhere for next to nothing, from major stores to corner stores. Any information you give when registering need not be true

Jumpy

Kingpin187 wrote: »

Jumpy, you can get SIMs anywhere for next to nothing, from major stores to corner stores. Any information you give when registering need not be true

Erm. Yes. So he pre-prepared a SIM in advance? It doesnt add up. That text will be traceable.

Kingpin187

Of course, but doesnt something like that require court action?? and since we are told the text was "hi will you come over and help me with my tv" they are hardly gonna turn into the NSA and track down the sender!

I myself have a few old prepaid phones lying around, probably with some credit in them (unless it expires I dont kno?) so its not that hard

Jumpy

Kingpin187 wrote: »

Of course, but doesnt something like that require court action?? and since we are told the text was "hi will you come over and help me with my tv" they are hardly gonna turn into the NSA and track down the sender!

I myself have a few old prepaid phones lying around, probably with some credit in them (unless it expires I dont kno?) so its not that hard

Still traceable.

ted1

sounds a bit odd what the gardai are doing. I'd look to speak to a different garda.

syklops

Jumpy wrote: »

Still traceable.

Yes it is traceable. In a murder investigation or major crime. Traceable by your average plod 'investigating' a domestic dispute. Highly doubtful and probably only possible through a court order.

OP, get a lawyer, a real cold calculating bast"rd, who will take this guy and his defence to pieces. He can help you get your phone records from the phone company to show to the guards.

I cant believe the way the guards are treating you. I am absolutely fuming sat here reading this. If you were stalking him, why would YOU ring the police??? Its nonsensical. Document everything that is happening with the Police and with him. When this is all over I would be giving the Gardai Ombudsman a ring.

There a many excellent guards out there, who do a really tough job. Unfortunately, there is also a lot of utterly hopeless twits. Sounds like you have been unlucky.

scentedcandle

To Tilly - I'm really sorry for you what you're going through. For anybody to behave how he has against you, you could bet he's done this before and got away with it. His wife KNOWS it too, believe me. This new move of theirs was probably for a reason, a fresh start maybe, last chance saloon for him possibly.
Maybe she's in denial of his actions and is backing him up ON THE SURFACE, you won't know what's now really going on behind closed doors. Strain your ear if you can and listen at the walls, especially at night, they're bound to be fighting. Get yourself a stetescope, mad as it sounds.

Are they just renting, because if they are then they could have evaded their troubles easily enough from elsewhere.
His drinking during the daytime, leeching about the house - it's almost certain they have marraige difficulties that she's trying to hide but he's displaying them.
Are either of them working?

Another half-mad suggestion I'm going to put to you - looking back, do you ever feel the wife was over-friendly with you? Flirty or looking at you in a weird way? Touchy-feely ('accidentally'/'absentmindedly' stroking your arm/brushing past you, or anything?).
Does she dress provoctatively, in a way that anyone would deem inapropriate for daytime ect, and do they go away 'for breaks' at weekends or have a lot of strange visitors around?

There's a world of weirdos out there, into all sorts and it could be that they were 'working' on you, (especially as your relationship finished up and they probably thought you were vunerable or naiive) and when the husband made the advances that you repelled, if this IS the case, then she was bound to turn against you and back him up, especially when you got the Gardai involved and their sick little plan didn't work.
Don't be surprised if they're both in on it together.

Look down on them for the sick twisted couple of weirdos that they are.
I think it's the only way for you to get through this with strength.
Anyone normal woman not involved in something like that would have full scale war with their partner and probably kick him out, especially if the other person was living right next door.
If she wasn't involved it's called trying to cheat. Which is as bad as cheating itself. So, unless there is massive rows coming from theirs and she kicks him out, believe it that what I suggested is true.

Best of luck and get straight to a solicitor tomorrow morning.

happymondays

t_i_l_l_y wrote: »

I have gone back down to the police station and mentioned the text, they said he showed them the text I sent him but the kicker was it didn’t come from my number. I told them this and of course he had a story for that too. He told them I had gotten another sim to text him off:eek:. Complete BOLLUCKS of course but try telln that to a cop looking at you like some physcopath.:(

Hes them told that ive latched on to him since my fiancé “dumped me for a younger model”:eek: and that he was nice to me and I took it as he was in love with me, and I have been stalking him since.

I don’t know why he is doing this to me, I have had my house egged today. Im in bits and the police wont help me!

If he showed them the text then it could not have been a fake one created by himself. The date/time of the text would have to corrospond with just before
he called to your house. So unless he was super prepared and had it all planned in advance and sent himself a text which it dosnet sound like then it must be been a real text from someone who really did want him to fix thier tv.

Dont suppose you got the number it was sent from did you?

If you do You could maybe try ring it or the voice mail from an unknown number to see if anyone answers or if they have a voice mail set up. then you would know whos numbers it really is.

ABajaninCork

+100 to what the others have said on here already.

I cannot stress enough the urgency of getting a solicitor. I would also go back to the cop shop, and ask to speak to the Superintendent. (Or the Officer in Charge. NOT a Sergeant!!!). Make a formal complaint about the Gard you initially spoke to and insist he does not deal further with your case.

Then:

• Invest in a camera, and train it at your front door. They don't have to be expensive as already stated. Your house has already been egged. God knows what else this creep has in mind...
• Keep a diary of events. Dates/times, what was said by whom to whom.
• If he's stupid enough to knock at your door, DON'T ANSWER IT. Is there any way you can get a male friend/relative to sit with you?
• Ditto any phone contact from him OR his wife. Don't answer it, keep any texts they might send. It might also be an idea to get the phone records from your provider. Keep them handy, just in case.
• Lastly - STAY STRONG! We're pulling for you!

Big hugs and lots of luck! Don't let the sleazoid get you down...

Kingpin187

^^ +1

genuinely hoping for a positive next post by OP

Monkey Allen

I'm sort of agreeing with Jumpy. This doesnt add up. The police flipped your complaint back on you because of a text message that didnt even come from your phone? The police arent stupid. Get a solictor immediately. Not sure what else you can get from this thread.

t_i_l_l_y

I have told my dad about this, pretty much had to take his car keys off him to stop him going over to his house. He did however call the police and demand to know the situation.

The police said the message had been sent during the day(few hours before he arrived at my house). I wasnt even at home when this message was recieved i was in work and i have the bosses proof of that. SO AS MY DAD SAID TO THEM "wHY WOULD SHE TEXT HIM ASKING HIM TO COME OVER IF SHE WASNT GOING TO BE THERE"
However this number is down now as "number not accessible" ,Dad maintains he had a woman on the side who text him that, and when i called the police on him he pretended it was me to make his story. Sounds far fetched but i think he has the police thinking it now,My father takes no crap where as i wouldnt say boo to a goose maybe thats why they listening to him.

To the people who said the story doesnt add up- your entitled to your opnion but i came here for advice, and last thing i needs to be doubted even more.

I will be staying at my dads for a few days. I cant take the abuse off next door and the looks when i leave the house.

Janet1986

Really hope you get it sorted.

Any chance they might want you out of your house? :eek:

Stheno

Text messages always show the number for some reason they cannot be blocked so there is a flaw in that logic!

Taltos

OP - please don't take folks doubt personally. The place is a microcosm of the outside. And on many threads questioning the OP in this way helps unearth further details - either drawing more on the story or exposing trolls.

I am really glad you are staying with your father for the next while. In terms of what you can do next - there is really some excellent advice above.

Number 1 is the solicitor though.
> know your rights
> what action can you take against your neighbour
> is there potential action against the gardai?
> how can you protect yourself?
> can the solicitor find if there have been previous complaints against this individual - maybe at the local garda station at his old address... as someone above said this is NOT the first time he has done this.

Clearly he may have been caught before or had a close shave - hence the mobile tricks...

Above all else - this guys is a bully - but is also a dangerous and slightly clever one. Do what you need to in order to be safe - but don't think it will just go away. Like all bully's he will run once confronted - so you need to go on the total offensive here - solicitor / logbook / cameras - the whole nine yards.

As to the wife knowing - some part of her does I am sure - but she may be in denial and only see him with rose tinted glasses - have seen this myself with a relation whose husband bullied folks attending his soccer training sessions... Only when she left him for another reason did the truth dawn on her...

Be strong and don't let this git or anyone try to convince you to give up.

curlzy

Hey OP,

Firstly just like to say, I believe you. Please don't let some poster's doubt make you feel hopeless. Some of the posters here are quite young and seem to think that the world works a certain way, like that the gardai will automatically do the right thing and the logical thing. At 27 you know yourself that things don't always happen that way, the gardai don't always follow logic or do the right thing, they're fallable too. So please don't let the doubt of some posters put you off standing up for yourself. I'm absolutely delighted that you've involved your dad. His simple presence should be enough to make the neighbour think twice about coming near you again. To be honest he sounds like a drunken pervert, his wife more than likely knows you're right but like all pathetic messes that stay with a guy like that, she's decided to go into denial. Please just remember that you are in the right here. You have every right to be safe and unmolested. What he did when he grabbed your crotch was sexual assualt, he's the bad one here not you. Please don't let this go and let him paint you as a psycho, follow up on it with a solicitor. Like others said keep a record of everything and get a camera.

The best of luck.

dub_3

Kingpin187 wrote: »

Jumpy, you can get SIMs anywhere for next to nothing, from major stores to corner stores. Any information you give when registering need not be true

Yes the details could be anything if it was bought as a SIM pack, but unless he deliberately got it for nefarious purposes, he probably did put in his real address.

It could be unregistered, but unlikely as the phone companies always offer extra credit if you do register.

It could be an old pay as you go phone with his details registered or his wifes, probably at a previous address.

There could easily be a credit card transaction associated with that purchase of a phone containing that sim.

Also would be interesting if it was topped up by credit card and whose card that would be.
The history of txts sent from that phone might also be revealing.

The logs showing the cell towers that SIM has been logged onto might show a correlation between their old address and the new one.

However I don't suppose any of the above would be looked at unless there was a murder.
I could be wrong though, what you need to do is find someone that would know the ins and outs of getting phone records in this type of case.

I assume that person would be a solicitor.

dub_3

Also I should add that that not only would the phone company have details of the SIM that sent the txt, they will also have the IMEI number of the phone that the SIM was inserted into at the time of sending.

So even if it was an unregistered SIM with no contact details, the phone may still be traceable. It could be his phone or the wifes if he just stuck the unregistered SIM in to do the txt then put the original back.

Again the log for that phone would show history of what SIMs been used in it.

prinz

t_i_l_l_y wrote: »

The police said if he decides to press charges i will have to go to court for "slander" and "Giving a false statement"

I was believing your story down to here. This isn't true, or else you are leaving substantial amounts of your story out.

If you have problems with your nieghbour go to a solicitor.

Big Bag of Chips

OP, the guards might not see it as important enough, to go through all that for a "domestic situation". But, and this I feel very strongly about..You are the injured party here. If it was me I would be making a nuisance of myself in the garda station, until, at the very least, I got to speak to someone who would at least listen, and be willing to accept my side of the story.

I would also be making a complaint to th bossman in the station, and I would also mention the ombudsman, by all accounts even the mention of the ombudsman seems to bring miraculous change in attitude!

Back down to the garda station today. Tell them you have been intimidated out of your house, and you are not prepared to "let this go".

dub_3

Quote:
Originally Posted by t_i_l_l_y
The police said if he decides to press charges i will have to go to court for "slander" and "Giving a false statement"

prinz wrote: »

I was believing your story down to here. This isn't true, or else you are leaving substantial amounts of your story out.

If you have problems with your nieghbour go to a solicitor.

@ Prinz

It doesn't surprise me that individual Gardai would say stuff like that in order to get her to go away.

He either just wanted her to go away without generating anymore paperwork, or was trying to intimidate her to see if her story changed.
Not very professional but that's the way it is.

(I've personally had Gardai say the most absurd things to me)

Basically there was fcuk all he could do anyway in a "he says / she says" domestic situation where nothing actually happened.

@ OP

The Gardai get dragged into all sorts of petty squabbles, that aren't within their remit, that's why you got the fob off

You have to persist and report everything to the Gardai.
If and when your neighbour does something chargeable / proveable, then you should see them take action.

As I and others have said get a solicitor, they won't be fobbed off with comments about slander etc...

Also as mentioned install CCTV
either covertly if you're trying to catch him in the act of doing something,
or overtly to warn him off.

Also keep camcorder charged and with tape in etc...

Maybe you area has a community liaison garda.
If so have a chat with them, also ask them to come around to your house and advise on possible home security improvements as you're not feeling safe in your home.

The squad car outside will also be giving your neighbours something to think about.